Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 132791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 664(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 132791 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 664(@200wpm)___ 531(@250wpm)___ 443(@300wpm)
The Mercedes stopped in front of a preppy Manhattan building. Tiernan got out first, followed by two of his soldiers, before he gestured for me to follow. The second set of guards trailed behind us.
We broke off from security when we entered the elevator in the sleek lobby. By now, I was so nauseous I was surprised I didn’t vomit my heart onto the floor. My palms were clammy, and my limbs felt like overcooked noodles.
My stomach was still flat, and the morning sickness was now almost completely gone, so I allowed myself to pretend I wasn’t pregnant most days. Now someone was going to touch me. Show me the baby. The child of my rapist. Make me face the reality I’d been ignoring for three months.
I was barely eighteen. I’d never even had a proper kiss. The kiss during the wedding ceremony didn’t count. And I knew nothing about babies.
When we got to the reception, my panic flared into sheer terror.
“Dr. Driscoll is unfortunately indisposed.” A flirty receptionist batted her fake lashes at my husband. She looked like one of my brothers’ mistresses. Big hair, boobs, and a small brain to match. “But her husband, Dr. Maguire, stepped in to cover her appointments for the rest of the afternoon.”
A man was going to touch me?
A man was going to put his hands on my most private parts?
Jerkily, I looped my fingers around Tiernan’s forearm, digging my nails into his hard muscles.
“That won’t do,” Tiernan said calmly, dismissively. “I specifically requested a female doctor.”
He did?
“Totally, yeah, I understand.” The bubbly receptionist flipped her hair with a smile. “And Dr. Driscoll will take over moving forward. It’s just this specific appointment—”
She stopped. Tiernan didn’t even say anything. His stony glare told her it was nonnegotiable. What was his voice like? Raspy, I’d imagined. Rough around the edges, just like the man himself.
“I see you’re not happy,” she said.
A thin, humorless smile. “Smart girl.”
The receptionist swallowed. “Let me see if Dr. Lockerby is available…”
“Is Dr. Lockerby a woman?”
“Hmm, yes. Her name is Meredith.”
“You do that, while I help my wife settle in the examining room. Remember—if she’s uncomfortable, I’m uncomfortable. And if I’m uncomfortable…” He trailed off, casually leaning a shoulder against the wall and exposing the gun in the holster beneath his tailored peacoat. “Everyone gets real uncomfortable.”
We huddled down the corridor and slipped into room number seven. A faded blue hospital gown waited on the edge of the examination table, folded neatly into a square.
I turned to Tiernan to tell him to look the other way and caught the sight of the door clicking shut. He left, the scent of expensive leather and musk lingering in the air like the swollen pulse of a kiss.
It was the first time I was alone somewhere new since the assault.
Was he coming back?
Was I going to face the doctor alone?
My anxiety won over. I picked up my phone and texted Mama. It was the first time I had initiated a conversation with her since she came back from Chicago.
Lila: Why didn’t you come to my OB-GYN appointment?
Chiara: I’m sorry, honey. I have a terrible headache. It shouldn’t be too bad. Just do as the doctor asks.
Bullshit. She knew how triggering this was for me. Knew how this pregnancy came about.
Trembling, I reached for the zipper in the back of my dress. It took me three attempts to remove it. I picked up the hospital gown and examined it. It was missing a part. Front or back, I couldn’t tell. But one side was purely made out of strings.
Which way was the right one?
Tears collected on my lower eyelids. Since they were going to check my belly, I guessed I needed to wear the gown with my front exposed. I quickly tied the strings beneath my breasts and around my stomach. What a stupid design for a hospital gown! What was even the point of it?
I laid on the examination table, realizing to my chagrin there were stirrups on either side of it. I pressed my thighs together tightly. I didn’t want to be touched. To be seen. To be prodded like an animal.
It was the absence of Tiernan that made me realize I trusted him more than I cared to admit. Not with my heart, or with my happiness, but with my body. It was more than I could say about any man other than my brothers.
The door opened and Tiernan stepped back inside. I quickly swathed an arm over my breasts and pressed a hand to my groin to hide myself. Despite my mortification, I was relieved to have him back. He closed the door and swiveled my way, his gaze landing on my exposed skin.
The ice in his pupil snuffed, replaced with something else. Heated and urgent. It was the first time he looked…bothered. By something. By someone.