Total pages in book: 114
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111165 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 556(@200wpm)___ 445(@250wpm)___ 371(@300wpm)
“Let me guess, he gave you grief over it?”
“How did you know?” He leans back in his seat. “I know why your mom called you, by the way. We had a fight last night.”
“What about?”
“The backpack,” he says, kicking it. “Because Dad said it was gay.”
I bite down on my tongue, hard, because there are so many fucking things I would love to get into right now about Daryl, but I have to remember that the guy is still Noah’s father, even if he is a grade A wanker.
“Your father,” I begin, choosing my words carefully, “isn’t exactly open-minded. We both know this. What did you end up telling him?”
“I didn’t tell him anything,” he says defensively. “There’s nothing to tell. I just like colors. I don’t know. He kept saying he didn’t want people to think I was gay, that I was hanging out with the wrong people, like Sam, I mean, how can anyone not like Sam? He wouldn’t drop it, he just kept picking on every single detail of my life, like he was goading me, like he wanted me to admit it.”
“Admit what?”
He shrugs, his face scrunching up. “I don’t know. Whatever I am. But Laz, I don’t know what I am.” He looks over at me, face white like he’s frightened to death. Suddenly I’m having deja-vu of Marina last night in that very same spot.
“Noah, you’re you. That’s all you need to know. That’s all that matters right now. You’re still figuring yourself out. Fuck, I’m still figuring out myself.”
“But you like girls,” he says. “You know that.”
I nod. “I do. But sexuality is just a part of who we are, it’s not everything. And just because you like girls, doesn’t mean your life is magically easier, either. Believe me.”
“I just don’t know what I like. Sometimes I like them. There’s a girl in my math class, Natalie, she’s so pretty. But I don’t want to kiss her or get with her or anything like that. I’d just paint her portrait…if I could paint.” He pauses and makes a groaning sound. “I can’t believe I’m talking to you about this…if Sarah or Dad knew…”
I don’t bother reminding him that we have talked about this before and I still haven’t told them and never will. Noah isn’t sure where he stands, whether he’s gay or bi or ace or queer and all I can do for him is be a sounding board. He has new friends now but I’m not sure if he’s confided in them or not. I wouldn’t blame him for not, the last thing you want when you’re in a hoity-toity high school is for rumors to start spreading, even if your friends seem like you. California is extremely open-minded but kids will be kids and kids are often cruel.
“You know I wouldn’t tell them anything,” I say. “It’s between you and them. And if you want to wait until you have it all figured out, I can’t blame you. Maybe this is just a confusing time for you…hell, maybe you already know what you want and you’re just catching up. But you know whenever you need to talk about it, you can talk to me.”
“It’s weird though,” he says.
“Look, mate, you’re my brother. I don’t care if it’s not through blood, but you are. And you’re also my friend. Believe me, I do anything for my friends, no matter how weird it gets.”
My mind floats back to last night.
He seems to think that over and we lapse into silence. I give him control of the radio and soon we’re cruising down toward Venice Beach, listening to an oldies station of all things.
“I just don’t know what he’d do,” he finally says while The Byrds sing on about every season, turn, turn, turn. “Honestly…I think I’m afraid of him. Like, not that I’ll just get yelled at or he’ll even disown me. That he’d hurt me.”
I give Noah a sharp look. “If your father ever touches you, you call me. I’m serious, Noah. You call me right away and I’ll deal with it. So help me god, I will give him back good what he’s given.”
He nods. “I don’t think your mother would do anything. No offense.”
I sigh. “None taken.” God, I hope she would do the bloody right thing. “But still. If at any moment you’re afraid for whatever reason, you call me and I’ll come get you. You can stay with me and Scooby for as long as you want.”
I’d like to think that Noah is exaggerating in his fears, I mean what son hasn’t imagined his father whooping his arse over something he did wrong. But in this case, Noah hasn’t done anything wrong and Daryl can be a violent son of a bitch. Not only does he have a bad reputation in the industry for berating and bullying colleagues and clients, but I’ve seen him lose his shit on pretty much everyone in the house, including Rosalie. I haven’t seen him hit anyone, but there have been times where I was sure everyone was seconds away from disaster.