Total pages in book: 97
Estimated words: 93929 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 93929 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 470(@200wpm)___ 376(@250wpm)___ 313(@300wpm)
The priest is talking. Finn takes my hands and he squeezes my palms tightly. For some strange reason, I move slightly closer, and when I do, some of my terror ebbs. Finn’s watching me so closely I feel like he’s seeing the outlines of my thoughts, like he can read my discomfort in the shape of my shoulders and the tightness in my jaw. Strangely, bizarrely, the longer I’m up here with him, the safer and more comfortable I feel.
Even though we’re standing in front of three hundred people.
And they can all see my scars.
Anxiety threatens to drown me again, but Finn’s still there, still watching. He’s still holding my hands and I focus on that, on his big body and his magnetic presence, on the smell of his skin and the spicy cologne he’s got on. I look at his lips, at his eyes, and I notice something—
Tulips, bouquets of them flanking either side of the small area we’re standing in.
He remembered.
We say the vows. We exchange the rings. I keep myself pointed at him and don’t turn toward the crowd. When he leans in and lightly kisses me, the memory of him in the sauna crashes into my heart like a wave.
I walk back through the crowd of smiling strangers holding onto my new husband, feeling like I’ve become unmoored from the ground, and only Finn’s anchoring me in place.
“There’s not much time,” he says once we’re in the next room. “People are going to start coming and we won’t be able to talk.”
“What do we need to talk about?”
“You looked like someone stabbed you in the guts when you walked down the aisle. What did your father say?”
My mouth goes dry. My heart starts racing. How did he know?
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
“Tell me.” His eyes flit to the doors and his expression darkens. Guests are starting to file out. “Hurry.”
I’m tempted. I want to tell him the truth. But I don’t know him and I sure as hell don’t trust him. Instead, I put on my best smile. I probably look like my mother struggling to deny reality. I learned from the best.
“Honestly, Finn, it’s nothing. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
His mouth twitches into a frown but he doesn’t press. Instead, several people come over to congratulate us. I’m swept away by women I barely know and Finn disappears. I keep thinking I’ll see him soon. He’ll hold my hands again and I’ll find a little measure of safety again.
But I don’t see him for the rest of the night.
He skips out on his own damn wedding and abandons me.
10
CAROLINE
I’m exhausted when the driver drops me back at Finn’s apartment.
This was always the agreement. We’d live here from now on, starting tonight. I have movers coming with all my stuff in the morning paid for by Finn. Or at least I assume that’s still the case.
I wouldn’t know, because my husband ditched me.
The second I’m inside, I take off my stupid shoes. I toss them to the side. I storm into the kitchen, find a bottle of prosecco, and crack it open. The cork comes out with a pop. I pour a big glass and drink it down, struggling to keep myself under control.
How did my life end up like this? A few weeks ago, I was living on my own. I was cleaning this place and struggling to make ends meet, but at least I had my own space and I was doing my best. Nobody told me what to do. Nobody threatened to hurt me. I was free for a while.
But that was always an illusion. I was free because my father let me.
Now I’m something else.
Trapped in a new hell.
I refill my glass. I’m about to drink the whole damn bottle when I hear a noise upstairs. I stomp toward it, gripping the neck of the bottle in my left fist. If that’s Finn, I’m going to break it over his head. I’m going to brain him and beat him until he’s twitching meat. That’s probably not the best way to start a marriage, but to hell with it.
I chug the glass and leave it behind. The bottle’s good enough. I drink right from the end as I kick open the door to the swimming pool. I expect to find him floating in the water, but instead he’s standing at the far side of the room, past the deep end, staring out over the city.
It’s a beautiful night. The view is breathtaking.
“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t try my hardest to drown you,” I say acidly, taking another drink. I’m going to be very drunk very shortly.
Finn half turns. He’s still in his suit, but the shirt’s unbuttoned, showing off his chest. So many scars, so many tattoos. He’s got a crystal glass of whiskey in one hand. He swirls it, frowning at me. The moon’s big and bright behind him, wreathing his face in shadow.