Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 83994 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83994 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
My chance comes the night after the funeral.
It’s a long day. I stick by Declan’s side through it all, but we don’t get much of a chance to talk. There’s the mass followed by the graveside service. After that is the luncheon, a massive affair with hundreds of guests. Declan disappears into back rooms for the majority of it and only emerges for a quick drink and a word with his brothers before wandering off. He hardly glances in my direction.
I do what I can to ease Siobhan’s burden, though. I run interference for her, help with logistics, and make myself as useful as possible. The day turns to evening, which turns to night, and I end up finding her sitting on the back patio all alone with a half-empty bottle of wine at her elbow and a glass clutched between both hands.
“I’m sorry, did you want to be alone?” I hesitate, caught between wanting to give her some time to grieve and needing to talk to her.
But lucky for me, she only gestures at an empty chair. “Sit down. It’s probably better if I’m not alone.” She pours me a glass and pushes it over. “But you have to drink.”
“I can handle that.” I take a sip and watch her. Siobhan’s eyes are bleary and exhausted. She’s clearly tipsy, maybe even drunk. “I’m sorry about your husband. From everything I’ve heard, he was a good man.”
“You know what I loved the most about Padraig?” She stares off into the darkness of the small yard. “He was a family man. And I don’t mean the business. He loved his boys ferociously. Anything they needed, he’d find a way to give it to them. He didn’t spoil them and did his best to help mold them into the decent men they are today, but he also wasn’t some vicious asshole like other Clan fathers sometimes are.”
“I can’t imagine the pressures in your world.”
“Nothing about this life is easy.” She swirls her glass thoughtfully. “But it’s good. We do some good anyway. We help our own. He always cared about that. There’s the greed and the violence, but he believed in balance. Helping his people. Taking care of his own.”
“How do you think Declan’s handling the transition?”
She glances at me with a sly smile. “Worried about your husband?”
“I don’t know,” I admit honestly. “All this is so new to me.”
“He’ll be fine. There will be long, busy days for a while, but he’ll be fine. Nobody’s better at dealing with boring fucking Clan business than Declan.” She grins to herself and takes a long sip.
Definitely drunk.
“Can I ask you something? About me and him?”
She raises an eyebrow. “Why not? I bet there’s a lot you’d like to know.”
I suppress a shiver. “I was promised to him.”
“You were. Padraig negotiated that deal. Your parents were strong people. They were clever and ambitious. We got along well.”
“You knew them?”
“Somewhat. We had a few dinners and visits. Nothing deep. But yes, I knew them. Your father was funny and your mother was sharp. They made a good team.”
A deep sorrow hits me. I haven’t felt sad about my parents in a long, long time. Their death is just a part of who I am now and not something worth feeling sad over anymore. Except hearing Siobhan describe them tugs at something in my chest.
“I wish I knew them better. I still don’t understand why they’d make a promise like that to you all, though.”
“Things are different in our world. We take marriage and family very seriously. You would’ve been given a choice…” She trails off, lips pressed together in a wry smile. “But it wouldn’t have been much of one. After your parents died, everyone assumed the deal was over and done with. Except for Declan.”
My eyebrows raise in surprise. “Why didn’t he let it go?”
“Oh, who knows? My oldest has always been the most troubled and emotional of all my boys.”
I try not to laugh at that. “He doesn’t really strike me that way, honestly.”
“That’s because you haven’t tried to look closely yet.” She shakes her head at me, and I feel slightly ashamed of myself. I remember him sitting on the edge of my childhood bed, his body tense and slumped like a whole planet was perched on his shoulders.
“I still don’t get why he’d care about me.”
“You were so young when your parents died. He kept his distance, but he made sure you had what you needed. Maybe out of some obligation. I don’t even understand it. For years, that’s all it was. He made sure you were financially secure and thriving, but otherwise kept his distance. I figured it was a nice thing he was doing for you, at least until you got older. Then things changed.”
My stomach twists. I have to cover my nerves by drinking more. Siobhan refills her glass and sighs as she stretches her legs. “What changed exactly?”