Total pages in book: 148
Estimated words: 139178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 696(@200wpm)___ 557(@250wpm)___ 464(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139178 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 696(@200wpm)___ 557(@250wpm)___ 464(@300wpm)
“I found purpose in work for a while, but I never found hope or happiness. It just kept me busy, so I kept on doing it.” A smile that was a grim facsimile of the real thing. “Funny isn’t it, Ellie? I always wanted to be in the inner circle of an archangel’s court, but I’ve walked away from the offer twice now—once from Titus’s steward, once from Suyin’s.”
His expression was distant. “They’re both good archangels, deserve people who have their heart in their work. I haven’t had my heart in anything since I laid our children to rest.
“Laurie—our strong, funny boy—was bad enough. He was like my Beth, had no choice. But our beautiful, talented Maggie…she was compatible, could’ve been Made. But when I spoke to her about it, when I told her I’d ask you to fast-track the process for her, that I knew you’d make sure her transition was a happy one, she said, ‘No, Daddy, I want a mortal life with a beginning, a middle, and an end.’
“She was so gentle with me, our girl. She held my hand as I cried and she told me she couldn’t bear to outlive her baby brother, or any children she might have. And she was as content with her choice as Beth was with the life she lived. Maggie never wavered, not even when I held her hand at the end. ‘I’ve had a wonderful life, Daddy,’ she said. ‘Don’t be sad for me.’ ”
His chest shuddered as he sobbed. “I could’ve had that, too. A mortal life with all its love and pain and a final ending. Instead, I’m a ghost in the lives of others.”
Wiping at his eyes with the back of his forearm, he looked at her. “Do you miss her?”
“Every day. I still hope she’ll send me a random message full of those holographic emojis she started using as soon as they became a thing.”
“My phone used to turn into a disco from the old days whenever she messaged me. All these hearts and kisses floating about.” Harrison stared dully at the verdant green road just across the way. “I used to get embarrassed when I opened them in public, but I never asked her to stop. I saved all of them, still have them in a protected and secure cloud.”
Another look at Elena, out of eyes bleak with pain—but they weren’t rimmed red, and she saw no broken blood vessels in the sclera of his eyes. She looked at his throat. No pulse, no bluish outline of veins even though his skin was thin and parchment pale.
This was worse than bad. Harrison was starving and seemed unaware of it. “Harrison,” she began.
But he spoke over her. “At least I can talk to you about her. You remember her. You loved her.”
Deciding to focus on getting him to the infirmary, she said, “So does Eve.”
“I haven’t run into her in at least three centuries,” Harrison murmured. “You can tell her what happened to me after it’s done. She might wonder one day, I suppose.”
Elena didn’t say anything to that, but she shadowed the transport in which she put him—and she personally walked him into the infirmary.
“I’m not sick, Ellie,” he said, but didn’t resist when Nisia admitted him. “I guess you have to be sure so you don’t feel bad about it. That’s okay. I’ve waited so long—a little longer won’t matter. Beth would be mad at me if I made you feel guilty.”
“Keep him away from the balconies,” Elena told Nisia once they were alone. “He’s beyond suicidal at this point. He promised Beth he wouldn’t do it, but the state he’s in…”
“Don’t worry.” Nisia’s eyes held none of her customary snark. “I’ve already programmed the balconies to throw up a shield if they sense his presence. He won’t be jumping on my watch.”
The healer tucked back a strand of silky dark hair that had escaped the bun at the base of her neck. “He shouldn’t try it if he has any sense—at his age and level of power, he won’t die. He’ll just shatter himself to smithereens and spend a lot of time in agony.”
Elena gestured to her own neck area. “No spinal separation?”
Nisia shook her head. “You probably haven’t noticed because he’s so depressed, and it’s suppressing his energy, but your brother-in-law’s grown in strength to a point that most vampires never do—and one, quite frankly, I never expected him to reach the few times I met him while he was still under Contract. He’s no Dmitri or Venom, but give him another thousand years, and he’ll get there. My instincts say he hasn’t plateaued.”
“Huh.” Elena folded her arms. “I saw him as a fuckup back when he first got Made—and he was a fuckup then—but I guess even fuckups grow up.” She glanced in the direction of the infirmary bright and full of light. “His grieving like this? I didn’t think he was ever in danger of that. I always thought that no matter how deep his love for Beth, he was the kind to eventually forget.”