Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81603 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 81603 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)
Rubbing at his temples, he tried to rid that feeling from his chest. He stroked a hand across his heart, and that pain kept slicing through. Not only was it a pain in his chest, but his gut twisted. Anthony had never felt fear, not once. Not when he walked into the mess that had once been Daisy’s father. He had taken control, even though she had seemed panicked, and he had known what to do. It was pretty easy, finding one of the guns, lining it up with what was left of his head, and pointing it at the right spot.
Daisy’s real father had been a piece of work no one could stand. No one was going to miss him, and no one would care how he died. He didn’t do anything. He wasn’t responsible for anyone, he was nothing.
When he fought at the Quad, there had been no feelings. Hurting people was easy to him. When he saw them in pain, it meant nothing. The girls he rejected meant nothing to him. The only person who meant anything to him, where he felt that lightness, was his brown-haired, brown-eyed girl. His Daisy. His love.
As far as he was concerned, Daisy had and would always be his. Without Daisy there was no reason to live, to breathe.
“Daisy can’t die,” Anthony said.
“She is not going to die,” Lash said.
He turned to look at his father, but Lash stared straight ahead. “If Daisy doesn’t make it, please kill me,” he said.
This made Lash veer to the side of the road and pull over.
“What the ever-loving fuck are you talking about?”
“I know right now everything is a mess and that I caused it. If Daisy doesn’t make it, there’s no point for me. I don’t want to live in this world without her, I can’t.”
“Damn it, Anthony, I want you to stop this.”
“She is everything, Dad. Imagine trying to do anything without Mom,” he said. He knew it was a low blow for his father. There was a time Lash did have to survive without Angel, when she had no choice but to be admitted to a psych ward.
“Don’t, Anthony.”
“I would rather you do it, but if not, I’ll get Devil, because he knows ... he understands.”
“I fucking understand!” Lash slammed his free hand against the steering wheel. “Don’t you get that? It’s okay for you and Devil to just end your lives and think it will be fine.” He took a deep breath. “But life does not offer that kind of luxury to everyone. Taking your life is the cowardly way out. Daisy would hate if you did that, and she would hate that you would leave the club alone.”
“They have you,” Anthony said.
“And who are they going to have after me? Conner? Miles? Markus? Huh, who will lead them?” Lash shook his head. “Do you even hear yourself right now? I thought you were a guy I could count on. I get it, okay, I get the fucking darkness. I’ve been there.”
Anthony stared at his father. “You’ve been in the darkness, but have you lived there? When you kill a man or a woman, does it bother you? Do you feel anything? Or do you feel nothing as long as the people you kill are hurting your people?”
Lash held his gaze. “I get you.” He spoke the words slowly. “The difference between you and me is I hid it a lot fucking easier, and I also know you’ve got to live. Hiding behind it only lasts so long. I get it, Daisy is the only thing you care about. She is the only one you want. She makes the whole world feel a little brighter, seem a little ... easier to play the rules. She wouldn’t want you to die.”
“What’s the point?” Anthony asked.
“There is every point, because you’ll do everything in her name.”
And with that, Lash pulled the car back onto the main road, and Anthony expected them to go to the clubhouse. They didn’t. They went all the way back to their main home.
“I don’t want to see Mom right now,” Lash said.
“Your mom’s at the clubhouse, dealing with shit. She knows you need your time.” Lash pulled the car into park. “I think what you need to do is give your mother the benefit of the doubt. She’s not there to make your life hard, okay?”
Anthony nodded. He did, in fact, love his mother. He knew Angel was special, not someone to be hurt or messed with. Angel had always been sweet and kind. When Lash had to take over, several people didn’t think she had what it took to lead, but Angel proved you didn’t need to be cruel or mean to lead.
With the help she had given over the years, the loyalty built. Angel didn’t make enemies. She made friends. She made people want to stand by her, and in turn, stand by Lash. They knew she would always have their best interests at heart.