Series: Lee Savino
Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 66414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 332(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66414 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 332(@200wpm)___ 266(@250wpm)___ 221(@300wpm)
I try to be strong, but my face crumples a bit, and Daisy realizes something is wrong.
“Oh no, sweetheart. Tell me everything.”
Maisy
“So that’s why I came home early,” I tell Missy. She was still at her mom’s in Santa Fe and dropped everything to come up the mountain for a sleepover tonight. My throat is scratchy from explaining everything while holding back tears. I cried a bunch when telling Daisy, but with Missy, I leave out the shifter stuff, so all she knows is that I found out Matthias was with me because he felt obligated. “He doesn’t want me, he just felt like he needed to help me. Like a protective big brother.”
“Oh, Maisy.” Missy sets her mug of hot chocolate on my bedside table and scoots closer, so she can take my hand. “I’m sure that’s not true. He said yes to the date.”
“Only because he found my New Year’s resolution list and thought he was helping me,” I whisper. I can’t cry, I have no more tears. My tear ducts ache. There’s a black hole in the pit of my stomach.
I felt strong when I marched away from Matthias, clinging to my pride, but now, with my best friend, I allow myself to wallow. I deserve a damn pity party.
“I just feel like no one’s chosen me. Not my father, not my mother. I even had a pity date to the prom.”
“I chose you. Daisy chose you.” She squeezes my hand.
I look out the window. It’s snowing again. The whole world has darkened even though it’s not yet dusk.
“Daisy had no choice. She took me in because she had to–my mom O.D’ed, and my dad was a drug addict, too. And you’re an amazing best friend, but…I don’t know. Sometimes I feel like I’m just your sidekick.” I don’t know why all my truths are tumbling out right now. I don’t want to hurt Missy, but I just can’t hold it in.
I guess I’m just too demoralized to pretend things are fine with me when they’re not.
Missy looks dismayed.
“It’s not your fault. I’m not blaming you. But you’re the pretty one. The popular one.”
Missy looks shocked. “You’re nuts. First of all, Daisy adores you. You’ve never been a burden on her. I’ve always been jealous of how much she loves you. And I’m so sorry you feel that way about us. You’re the only person who has been a true friend to me. When we met at school, you were the only one who didn’t hate me for being Miss New Mexico Teen at fourteen–a pageant I never wanted to enter but had to because my mom’s love is conditional, by the way.”
It’s true that other girls hated Missy, but I didn’t even know she’d noticed. She always acted so confident. But of course, she’s a great actress.
I give her a hug. “I’m sorry your mom sucks.”
She squeezes me tight. “I’m sorry yours died. And I know you’re hurting, but it’s not true that you’re unwanted. We love you for you. Because you’re awesome.”
“Thanks.” We pull apart, and I wipe my tears.
I don’t feel awesome. I feel like I’m still that little girl who was excited for her dad to visit only to realize he just wanted her birthday money.
I got duped. I thought I meant something to Matthias, but it turned out it was just biology. He didn’t want me. He was taking drugs to resist me.
Ugh.
Matthias is back on the mountain with his brothers. Daisy called Winnie to confirm. I told him not to contact me, so it’s stupid that I’m hurt he hasn’t come to see me.
Do I want him to fight for me?
Yeah, I guess I do.
But I don’t know what he could say to change the hurt I feel.
He was doing everything he could to keep from biting me and making it permanent.
He wanted to protect me, but…he was leading me on. This was worse than a pity fuck. I thought it was real.
He fucking married me. And let me joke about having a honeymoon and helped me with my virginity, and…oh God, it felt so real. I mean I guess it was real, but just the physical part. Just frickin’ biology.
Missy squeezes my hand. “You’re going to get through this. And you’ll get over him. You’ve been through a lot in the past few days, but you’ve lived through worse. You got this.”
“Thanks.” I don’t feel like I am living. I feel like I’m the dirt on someone’s shoe.
Missy forces a smile. “Why did the dad stop using his discount card to scrape his windshield?”
“He only got ten percent off,” I answer dully. Not even dad jokes can cheer me up. I cringe at all the times I told them to Matthias like a big, goofy idiot. Probably another instance where he thought I was too young.