Total pages in book: 104
Estimated words: 99381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 99381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 398(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
“We are nothing but two bodies who like to touch each other,” I say matter-of-factly.
I can see the immediate hurt in her expression, and I fucking hate myself for being the one to put it there. But I can’t let her get attached to me. I’m a sinking rock. She needs stability and a man who can give her what she wants. That’s not me.
“And that’s all?” she asks incredulously.
“Yes.”
She nods once, and I can see the hurt shift into anger. Billie turns away from me and gives me her back.
Silence fills the room for another few minutes before she pushes the covers back and stands.
“I need to go.” She goes to the bathroom and puts on her wet clothes. I consider offering her something of mine to wear, but I have the good sense to keep my mouth shut.
She avoids my gaze until she’s fully dressed and untucks her hair from the hoodie so it falls down her back. “Will your brother see me?”
“No, he’ll be asleep now.” Hawke’s a heavy sleeper and is out cold within minutes of his head hitting the pillow.
“Good.” And then she slips out the door without so much as a goodbye.
I know I’m an asshole for what I said.
But I also know I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t care.
And that’s a fucking problem.
CHAPTER 23
Billie
“You’ve been awfully quiet lately. Why?” Ivy says from beside me as we sit in the back of a cab on the way to my brother’s club, Pearl. We’ve been there a few times before, and it’s because Posie invited us that we’re going tonight. I’m hoping to drag her out afterward if my brother lets her out of his sight for more than two seconds. But I know she doesn’t enjoy going out too much because she prefers being home with her son, so this might be the compromise.
“Huh?” I turn to face her.
Ivy sighs, exasperated. “There you go again, off with the fairies. Everything okay? Is it the new job?”
“No, everything’s fine. Just tired lately, that’s all.” I shoot her a small smile. “Did you end up seeing that guy from our double date again? And by the way, I am never doing that with you again.”
She starts laughing and nodding her head. We haven’t seen much of one another this week because our schedules haven’t lined up, and I’m grateful she wasn’t home when I returned to the apartment last weekend after spending time at Ford’s. I went home that night and had a hot bath, my mind running over a million thoughts. And I’ve tried since to forget about it. To forget about him. To reshape my expectation that sex is all we’ll ever be. And it’s fucking hard.
Hope is traveling again but is due to return soon, which will be nice. It’s good to have our trio complete. I don’t think Hope was built for the spotlight like her mother. She definitely acts more like her father with her quiet, solitary ways. I’m certain she takes the time coming back home to recharge.
“Yep. I went over to his place last weekend. They live together, too. Anyway, after we fucked, which was shit, I might add, his friend, the one you went out with, asked if he could join us. My guess is this is something they do often. It was so obvious.” She nonchalantly shrugs. “And I figured, what the fuck? So I fucked them both. Didn’t improve much, but oh well. Eiffel Tower ticked off the list.”
I can’t help but laugh at her ability to always embrace her nature and have the best fucking time doing it. Maybe I need to do the same thing: branch out to other guys beyond just Ford. I’m certain no one will live up to him, though.
If I want anything more than just sex, I have to let Ford go before I get hurt. Because I was hurt the other night and furious at myself for feeling anything more for him when it was me who set our boundaries to begin with. And I still haven’t completely digested the news about his vices and addictions. What does that even mean to be addicted to someone?
But a flush runs down my neck as I think about our time together, the way we can’t keep our hands off one another. And that paints a very clear picture of what that addiction might look like. I cut those thoughts and memories off. God, I need to stop this. It’s too consuming.
“You really fucked both of them?” I ask, then laugh at her smug expression.
“Yep. Would not recommend,” she states, flicking her hair over her shoulder. “Or maybe next time I just need to find two guys who actually know what they’re doing. And who think more about the woman than themselves. Besides, I had to wait for like two hours until he could get it back up. I don’t have the patience to wait around like that.” She laughs.