Total pages in book: 188
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
I blush fiercely and duck my head. “I’m sorry. I just—”
“Is there something you need?” he asks, and I look up.
Only to realize he’s moved away from the counter and is now closer to me. “Not really. I just—”
“So is there something I can help you find?” he asks, cutting me off and walking closer.
I swallow, taking a step back. “N-no. They all showed me where everything is. You know, Callie and Ledger and uh, everyone else.”
He keeps our gazes locked as he keeps advancing on me, not by one step or even two. He just keeps coming at me as he goes, “Because see, I’m not really the help or even remotely interested in playing host to you. But I can make an exception tonight, given this is your first night under my roof.”
I keep going back until my spine thumps against the opposite wall, just under the stairs. “Are you r-referring to the first night we met?”
The night of his engagement, when he found me hiding behind a tree, drinking stolen champagne. The night I really was the help, and he was the star of the party with the love of his life by his side.
He stops a few inches away from me, his eyes taking me in. “That was the first time you spoke to me. We met each other a long time ago though, didn’t we?”
I swallow and plaster my hands on the wall. “Yes.”
He narrows his eyes and keeps going, “Maybe even longer than I realized.”
My heart constricts in my chest at the reminder of all the lies I’ve told him and all the things I’ve omitted. At this urge to tell him exactly when we met, or rather, when I saw him for the first time. It was in this house, through the window of the same bedroom I’m staying in. Because it’s not just a room, it’s his. He gave it up for me. Just one of the things I need to talk to him about tonight.
But for some reason, it’s really hard to say anything useful so I ask, “H-have you eaten?”
His only response is to keep staring at me like my question doesn’t deserve an answer.
I swallow. “There’s tons of dinner in the fridge. Callie—”
“I’m not hungry,” he clips.
“But you just went for a run, and you’re training so hard for your season—”
“Get to the fucking point,” he orders then.
Right. Right.
He’s right. I came here for a reason, and there’s no use dragging this out. So I swallow again. “You’ve been avoiding me.”
“And yet here you are,” he says.
“I—”
“So clearly I’m not doing a good job of sending the message,”
“I know what you said,” I say. Then, correct myself, “As in, I remember what you said. That n-night.”
His jaw hardens even more if possible, and I can feel his anger like the touch of his rough hands. Still, I keep going, “A-about staying away from you and your f-family and I just… I want you to know if it wasn’t for what happened with Snow, I would never have—”
“I know,” he says, his mouth so tight that it barely moves with his words.
“A-and I also want you to know that I didn’t do it on purpose,” I continue. “Become friends with Callie, I mean. My friendship with Callie is real. In fact, I avoided her for over a year before I even talked to her. But then—”
“I know,” he repeats in the same tight, brittle tone.
“How?”
“Because you avoided me for fuck knows how long too,” he says, his tone biting now, and I flinch. “So yeah, I know.”
Nine years. I avoided him for nine years, until he found me on his engagement night. I want to tell him that but again, I refrain. Instead, I blurt out, “I w-wanted to tell you.” An unknown emotion passes through his features that I want to read so badly but I can’t. So, I just keep forging ahead. “Especially when you wanted me to be… your distraction. It was one of the reasons why I kept saying no because I didn’t… You didn’t know and I… It felt like cheating, like I was… I was betraying you and that night I wanted to tell you but then I thought you’d hate me and—”
“Well, you don’t have to worry about that anymore, do you?”
No, I guess not. He already hates me. So what I thought would happen already did. I blush here, fiercely and blatantly, and I want to look away from him but I don’t. It’s the least I can do after hiding the truth for so long, not hide from him anymore. “So I just… I want you to know I’m sorry. I know it’s such a small word for everything I hid and for so long too. And I understand why you feel the way you do and…”