Total pages in book: 188
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
Chapter Thirty-Five
I’m evil.
I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I came up with something like this, let alone going through with this. But more than that, I can’t believe he agreed.
Yes, he did.
He not only agreed, he told me to pick a guy. On the street, right then and there. He told me to pick a restaurant too and the time. His only condition was he got to stay and watch. As in, when I asked the guy out on a date. And that I stay at least eight feet apart from him and I don’t exchange phone numbers. He also wanted me to tell him I’d meet him at the restaurant at the assigned time so there was no pick-up at the door kind of situation.
There was a lot I wanted to say to him. That I didn’t have a measuring tape to make sure how much distance was there between us. Or if we didn’t exchange phone numbers—I’d give him Isadora’s house phone number—how would he contact me if plans changed. But I didn’t. Because he already looked like he wanted to kill someone, and I genuinely thought he would when I went into the coffee shop by Isadora’s apartment to pick my guy.
I obviously wasn’t going to pick a random guy; I’m not that crazy. I already knew I was going to ask the barista behind the counter, Alex. I’d seen him a couple of times while getting coffee and he had a friendly smile. I asked him if he’d like to get dinner with me and he agreed. We decided to meet the next night at 8PM at a nearby Italian place. All of this happened under his intense scrutiny and it’s a wonder I was able to get any of the words out with the way I could feel his stare.
And then Alex opened his big mouth and said, “Hope you don’t think it’s creepy, but I’ve noticed you for the past couple of days and you’re super pretty. Can’t believe we’re going out.”
Nerves churned in my belly, and I clenched my muscles because I know he heard that. And even though he was standing a few paces behind me, looking like he was perusing the menu with his feet shoulder-length apart and his arms folded across his chest, I knew I heard a feral growl. I thought he was going to come charging at Alex any second, punch him in the face and throw me over his shoulder and carry me out while I kicked and screamed to anyone who listened what an asshole he was.
I thought he was going to prove me right. That even though he loved me and finally admitted it, he wasn’t capable of changing. He wasn’t capable of listening and compromising and just…feeling. That if things went bad, he’d shut down on me and push me away.
He didn’t though. He kept a lid on it and walked me home. As in, he walked a few paces behind me, his eyes on me at all times. And God, I wanted to call it off then. Just throw my arms around him and tell him I loved him too.
But I didn’t and now, here we are. At the restaurant.
Just for the record, he also walked me to the restaurant. He was already standing outside the apartment when I came out and when I started walking down the street, he followed. Again, a few paces behind me, both his intense stare and his agitation following me like a heated beam.
In any case, I’m sitting with Alex at the table and he’s sitting at a different table but in full view of ours. He looks even worse than he did yesterday, all hollow cheeks and red-rimmed eyes, stubble, the thickest I’ve seen, hair all mussed up. And the way he’s watching intently, with his features pinched and sharp, and his eyes all dark and dangerous, he actually looks like a stalker. A shady character with nefarious intentions.
He isn’t though. His intentions are noble. He’s doing this for me. To prove to me that he’ll do anything for me. He can kneel on broken glass, lick his leather boot and watch me on a date with another man for thirty minutes without losing his shit. Just because I asked. Just because he’s okay if I give him nightmares as long as I don’t leave him. And I know despite everything he’s done for me in apology, this one’s really going to steal his sleep.
This is his biggest fear. Me, leaving him.
I look at Alex as he tells me about his band and how they’re going to play at a club soon. I’m sorry to say I’ve already tuned him out several times. I’ve already glanced away from him to the man I really want to see, the man I’m really here for. And then I look down at my watch—yes, I’m wearing one; found it in Isadora’s dresser—and realize we’ve been here fifteen minutes already.