Total pages in book: 188
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
As for college, having babies does not mean the end of those things. Does it make things hard or delay things, yes. Look at Callie. Yes, she wanted to be a ballerina for as long as she could remember and yes, pregnancies delayed that dream for her. But they didn’t kill it. She found a way to keep her passion alive—she teaches ballet to kids in town—and next year, she’ll finally go to Juilliard. I personally think that’s so inspiring and such an example for Halo and Flora. That they could do anything they wanted, whenever they wanted.
But the thing is that Callie could only do it because of a support system. Because of her family. But mostly, because of Reed. A man who loves her more than life itself. So it’s crazy to even let it enter my brain, this dream. Of making a family of my own. I always wanted to be a part of something, and while I am now, making a family of my own is too tempting a dream and there’s no way I can wish for that.
Because the only man I’d even want to have that with said he can’t love me. And without love there’s no family.
So it doesn’t make sense that when two days after Shepard leaves, my period comes and my heart breaks. Sitting on the toilet, I see blood on my panties, and my stomach feels hollow. It doesn’t make sense that I then reach for my phone, sitting on the bathroom counter, and fire off a text.
Jupiter
I got my period.
His reply comes a second later; he’s in California right now and since it’s first thing in the morning on the east coast, it’s super early for him.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Good.
Jupiter
You’re not disappointed?
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
You’ve got tampons and other stuff for it?
Classic avoidance. But since I don’t want to talk about it either, I let it go and type out a reply.
Jupiter
Yes, Shepard. I have tampons. I’m a girl, remember? This has been happening to me since I was twelve. I keep myself stocked.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Fuck, that’s too young.
Jupiter
I mean, it is what it is.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Callie got hers around thirteen and we all had a family meeting about it. About who would explain things to her.
Despite the emptiness in my womb, I chuckle at the picture. All the grumpy looking, hypermasculine—I’m sure they were all hypermasculine back then too—Thorne brothers talking about how to handle their little sister’s periods.
Jupiter
Let me guess, you volunteered.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Fuck yeah, I volunteered. The rest of them were pussies. Ledger kept saying he wanted to throw up and Stellan and Con both had such serious expressions on their faces that they looked like military generals or whatever.
So I said I’d talk to her. But thank fucking God, she already knew most of it. She was the last in her class to get it and all her friends already spilled the beans about it.
Crisis averted.
I bite my lip, imagining a younger version of Shepard going into Callie’s room to explain feminine things. I bet he was nervous too, just like his brothers, but because his brothers needed him, he did what had to be done. He put his feelings aside, buried them deep and ventured into the unknown.
So maybe it does make sense. That I’m disappointed. Because what girl wouldn’t want a man like that in her life? Forever. Permanently. Till death do us part. Even if he loves someone else and can’t love her.
But then that’s the whole issue, isn’t it? He loves someone else who broke his heart and left him. He’s angry and lonely. Maybe that’s why he wants a baby. To fill that gap. It has nothing to do with me.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
You bleed a lot?
His text breaks me out of my morose thoughts and I swallow thickly, blushing.
Jupiter
I don’t think we should be talking about this.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Why not?
Jupiter
I don’t want to talk about my period with you. Or rather the details of it.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Again, why not?
Jupiter
Because it’s gross. And because it’s too intimate.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
First, it’s not gross. Nothing about you or your pussy is gross.
Second, nothing is too intimate between us. Because it all feels right.
So again, you bleed a lot?
I stare at my phone for a few seconds, realizing he’s right. Everything somehow feels right between us.
Jupiter
Yeah.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Fuck.
Jupiter
I can see it right now. On my panties. They’re soaked.
My thighs too.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Jesus, baby.
I bet it hurts too, yeah?
Jupiter
Yeah.
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
I have a way to help.
Jupiter
How?
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
Make yourself come.
I stare at the phone for a few seconds with my mouth open. Then, my fingers fly over the keyboard angrily.
Jupiter
Are you seriously turning this into a sexual thing?
My Toxic-But-I-Am-Toxic-Too Stepbrother
What the fuck? No. I wouldn’t do that.
I’m clearly an asshole but I’m not going to take advantage of the situation when you’re in pain.