Total pages in book: 188
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 179812 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 899(@200wpm)___ 719(@250wpm)___ 599(@300wpm)
As scary as that was—and believe me, it was plenty scary—the scarier part was when they said she was going to need a new heart. That simply repairing the damaged part wasn’t enough, because it was associated with other abnormalities, and a transplant was a long-term solution.
Imagine hearing that about your little sister. The one you’ve been trying to protect ever since you realized that monsters may be real. Only the monster that came to get her was inside her own body. I would’ve given her my own heart if they’d let me. But we were lucky enough to be put high up on the transplant list and managed to get a heart after only a few months of waiting.
“Fine,” Snow gives in. “Lights out by eleven.”
I breathe out with relief. “Thank you. And don’t forget your meds. I put them out for you on your nightstand.”
“Yup. Saw them and took them. Every single one.”
“Even the big red one?” I ask.
I can imagine her wrinkling her nose, because she hates that pill, as she replies, “Yes, even the big red one.”
“Good.” Then, I move on to the other important part. “I also put some brochures on the nightstand right next to the pills.”
This time, a sigh is her only response.
“Just take a look at them,” I insist. “For me. Please?”
Another sigh, this one sharper. “You’re the reason I don’t want to look at them.”
My heart clenches. “Snow, I told you. I’ll be fine. In fact, I’ll be happy you’re out of here. I’ll visit you.”
“I don’t want you to visit me,” Snow says. “I want to live with you.”
I know she does. I want to live with her too. I’ve always wanted that. I’ve also always wanted to get her away from Jeremy. And since my mother wouldn’t leave him, from her too. Which is why as soon as I could, I moved out myself. I got a job, multiple jobs, got an apartment, and then moved her out.
Of course, it wasn’t easy. While my mother was happy that I no longer lived with them, she didn’t want to lose Snow. Snow has always been my mom’s favorite, the daughter she loves more than me. Plus Snow was a minor—still is; she’s only seventeen—so she did everything she could to stop Snow from moving out. But then my sister fainted at school, and we found out about her heart. As much as my mother claimed to love Snow, she didn’t want to be the one to take care of her. So she let my sister go. And I did whatever I had to—extra shifts, taking out loans, begging and pleading to extend those loans—to take care of her.
But I did all that so Snow could get out of here, out of Bardstown. I did it so she could go to college, build a life for herself. A life that’s about more than just survival. Because my own has always been about that.
Just surviving.
“Snow,” I say. “Please, okay? For me. Just look at them.”
“College is expensive,” she argues like she always does. “And I see the huge stack of bills on your desk.”
It stings that my sister knows about this. About the state of our finances, about overdue bills and the medical debt. It makes me feel like I failed as a big sister. The fact that I couldn’t shield her from the truth. But I’ll figure out a way to send her to college. I will. There are loans, right? I’ll take out loans. I’ll somehow get the money but I’m not giving up and I don’t want her to either.
I go to retort when she continues, “And I thought of something.”
“What?”
“I’ll think of going to college when you think of going to college yourself,” she says triumphantly.
“What?”
“Yeah, why should I be the only one to go to college? You should go too.”
“Because you’re the smart one. Plus, you like books.”
“You like dancing.”
“So?”
“They have dance schools.”
Yes, they do. And maybe, a long, long time ago, I may have looked into them. When things would feel really hard at home, when my mother’s hatred toward me would bug me more than usual, I’d dream about running away to a dance school and never coming back. But those were just dreams. I can’t really go to a dance school. I wouldn’t even know how to get into one. Not to mention I hardly have the money to send my sister to college, let alone myself.
“I’m not going to a dance school,” I tell her firmly.
“So then, I’m not going to college,” Snow tells me firmly.
“You’re a pain in my ass,” I grumble.
“And you’re a pain in mine.”
I sigh, closing my eyes. “Fine, whatever. I have to go now. I’ll see you in the morning.”
After good nights, I hang up and head to the floor to start my shift. It’s a Friday so we have a fairly busy night. The floor is crowded with patrons. The music—mostly the heavy bass—is in full swing and the stage is sparkling with dancers. Most of the girls are already naked, with the rest getting there. I’m aware that as a stripper, I might make more money. Plus as Snow said, I love dancing. But imagine getting naked in front of the men who already treat me like I owe them a good time just because I’m a waitress at a strip club. God, I hate this job.