Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83586 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 418(@200wpm)___ 334(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
“I’m not normally, but the rest of them ain’t you.”
Well, hell. That was hot. I couldn’t help smiling against his skin. “I told him no. I don’t want anyone but you, Jasp. Maybe focus on that.”
“I’m tryin’, but it’s hard. I’ve never been like this, felt like this. I can’t work out how to deal with it. Plus, you’re a guy and…it’s just you for me, Sutt. I ain’t never seen another man I want.”
I sat with that for a second, wondering what it meant. That maybe no matter what, that truth would ruin us, or maybe it wouldn’t matter. “It might be because you’ve never given yourself permission before. You didn’t let yourself acknowledge it was there.”
“Maybe.”
I kissed his shoulder again. This was nice. This was fucking perfect.
“Wait. Kendra brought you to a gay bar? Your damn girlfriend was there when some guy was hittin’ on you? And Jesus Christ, you have a girlfriend. I can’t… We shouldn’t…”
“She’s not my girlfriend. She’s…my friend. My best one outside of you. I told her I was in love with you months ago. She was helpin’ me try and move on. I ain’t done more than kiss her, and that was just in the beginning.”
He whipped around, shoulder accidentally smacking me in the nose. Pain shot through my face. “Ouch. Fuck.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
I pulled back, covering it. Jasper moved closer to me, pulling my hand away to examine me. “Looks fine, ya big baby.”
“Let me shoulder you in the nose and see how much you like it.”
“You told her? About us?”
I knew he’d freak out about this. “I told her about me. It was just me at that time.” But there was my answer as far as Jasper’s comfort level. He’d nearly lost it just because he thought Kendra knew. I wasn’t saying I wanted to tell everyone. I wasn’t ready for that either. We had a lot of shit to figure out, but I’d eventually be there. I couldn’t help wondering if Jasper ever would be.
He reached out, cupped my face in his calloused hand, brushed his fingers over my nose. “I’m sorry I nearly knocked you out.”
I grinned. “I wouldn’t go that far. And stop bein’ charmin’. I think we need to talk.”
His whole face lit up. “You think I’m charmin’?”
“You know you are. You’ve had me wrapped around your finger my whole damn life, Jasper Finch.”
He closed his eyes, and I worried I’d said too much.
“And you haven’t with me? I don’t think I can ever care about anyone the way I care about you. Felt like I was losin’ myself when you started pullin’ away.”
“Shit.” Those words scrambled my brain, made my heart take off at a fast gallop.
Jasper licked his lips. “I really wanna try kissin’ you, but I gotta piss so bad, my damn bladder might explode. I might get so excited, I pee all over ya, and you’d never let me live that down.”
A laugh jumped out of my throat the way only Jasper could make me do. “I might be willin’ to risk it if the reward is kissin’ you. But we really should talk.”
“Do we gotta, though? Hell, we just started this. We’re just figurin’ it out. Can’t we just enjoy havin’ each other? We can’t tell no one, and I just… I wanna enjoy this. I wanna know you’re mine. I finally have you, and damned if I don’t want to revel in that. Let’s just focus on us, on havin’ what we deserve, and we’ll worry about the rest of it later.”
“We can’t tell no one.”
Never? He couldn’t mean that, but the rest of what he said made sense. We sure shouldn’t bring anyone into it now. We needed to get used to being together ourselves, settle into it some, and fuck, I wanted to protect this. To keep it. What was the point in talking it to death when we could enjoy it? He was right. We shouldn’t tell anyone right now, not when we were still figuring out what it meant and learning how to go from straight to not straight, from best friends to…boyfriends? Even thinking that word was strange, and if I hadn’t come to terms with all that in my own head, it wasn’t yet time to bring anyone else into it.
“I need to tell Kendra.”
“You tryin’ to make me jealous of her?”
I rolled my eyes. “She’s my friend. I love you. I’ll always love you.”
The smile that stretched across his face rivaled the sun at its brightest. “Hold that thought. I really gotta piss, and then we’ll…do…stuff.”
Do stuff. I could work with that.
Jasper ran to the bathroom in his room. I went to the one in the hallway, emptied my bladder, washed my hands, and brushed my teeth, my heart running the fifty-yard dash the whole time.