Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 108988 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108988 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
“Leave,” Creighton clipped out.
A door clicked, closing, and it was quiet now. Peaceful. Except I was writhing inside. The dam had been building for so fucking long, and I let it shatter. Everything was rushing through me, making me feel like I was going to go insane.
I reached for Creighton’s shirt and yanked him to me. I growled in his face. “You.” I dragged his mouth to mine. I barely registered his eyes widening, but then it didn’t matter because I was tasting him, this time on the lips, and things clicked into place inside of me. The right drawers suddenly found the shelves they were supposed to be in. All the madness cleared out of me. Lights that had been blinking in a frenzy all dimmed, all at the same time. A peace that I’d never let myself welcome wound itself through me, waking up every cell in my body, and just telling me that same message over and over again.
Home.
I was home.
And that was in Creighton’s arms, with his lips on mine, and I let myself ride in my own boat right over that dam.
I fell.
He stiffened, pulling away. “Wait.”
I panted. “Want.”
He dodged my mouth, gripping the back of my neck. He angled his head to see me better. “How much have you been drinking?”
I cursed. This was stupid. I knew what I wanted. I moved for him again.
His hand tightened on my neck, until another whimper left me, and he tore himself out of my arms. I landed on a desk with a thud, and suddenly he was across the room, breathing hard, his hands on his hips. “How much have you had to drink?”
“What does it matter?” I snapped.
He snapped right back, “It matters. You matter. You’re the only thing that matters, so yes, if you’re in an altered state of mind, it matters.” He heaved a breath, his nostrils flaring. “How much?”
I deflated.
Those words.
Jesus. Those words.
. . . you matter. You’re the only thing that matters . . . I blinked back tears.
I knew Creighton’s obsession, but to hear it in those words, the madness was coming back to my head. It was going to fill me up, and I was going to get all confused once more. It’d felt so nice being in his arms, giving in, and letting everything else filter out. My mind was quiet for once.
I wanted that back.
I snorted. “Why do you care now about—” I folded my arms over my chest, pouting.
Tomorrow I’d regret pouting. I acknowledged that, but I got a glimpse at what the world felt like in his arms. I got a taste before it was gone. I wanted that back. This need for him was in me, burrowing deeper behind my heart, and he was making himself comfortable there.
He ripped that away.
“I care about you.” He jerked toward me, his words puncturing me. “I am not a man that cares about right from wrong, except when it concerns you. Only with you. Don’t you get that? You’re my barometer. You’re my compass. I know which way is right because of you. You’re the reason why I’m able to function as a normal person. So yes, Blake, it’s always going to matter with you.”
My bottom lip was trembling, and my hand was shaking.
How could a girl function after hearing that?
My lungs were burning again, wanting to explode. The feeling was building, rising, growing.
I was drunk, but I wanted to give in. One night. Just one.
It was my excuse for why I could let myself get lost in him.
Hot tears slid down my face. I ignored them. “I can’t be with you sober.”
I heard his soft intake of air. “And that’s the only way I’d have you.”
Sober. Not drunk.
Well, fuck him then.
I glared at him, my eyebrows pulled low. Fuck. Him.
He looked almost normal at the moment. I sneered. “Look at you, having a conscience.”
He barked out a harsh laugh, raking a hand through his hair. “Only for you. You are my conscience.” He turned, going to a window that overlooked the rest of the warehouse. “I wasn’t born with a soul, Blake. For fourteen years I walked around, knowing something was different about me, but I didn’t know what it was. It didn’t matter to me. Then one day a little girl got out of a car, and suddenly I had something in my chest. I didn’t know what it was. I just knew something was there that hadn’t been there before. So if that makes you my soul or my conscience, I don’t care. I’ll take it. But that only stays that way as long as I don’t fuck up with you. Letting myself touch you when there’s a chance you could regret it, that’s me poisoning it. I won’t do it. Not that. Not you.”