Total pages in book: 113
Estimated words: 108988 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 108988 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 545(@200wpm)___ 436(@250wpm)___ 363(@300wpm)
I steeled myself because I recognized the look by now. She was going to say something deep, something that would cut straight to the bone.
“Look, I don’t know if you need me to repeat this, but just in case, I am. I’ll say this as many times as you need to hear it. You are not to blame for any of this. The only thing might’ve been a heads-up, but you were trying to hide from it yourself. So it happened. It just did. You moved in. You’re in love with a very scary guy, who does what he does, and because of what he does, all of that spread to us. I get it. Next time going in, we know now. Heath and me. We’re prepared. We’re ready. We aren’t leaving. And by the way, Heath gets to see his brothers again. I didn’t even know he’d been estranged, so I think that part of it is awesome.” She paused, but I knew there was still more coming. I waited. She spoke, almost gently because she knew these words might be hard for me to hear. “I know your thoughts on the kind of guy Creighton is. You don’t condone the lengths he will go for you, but I’m not you. I’m not as nice of a person as you are. I am okay with it. I care about you. And obviously he does too. So I’m okay with what he will do to make sure you’re safe. I mean, Jesus, he did all of this because of you. Right?”
My insides hollowed out.
She was watching me keenly. “You see that, don’t you?” She motioned around the room. “The war. Him pushing into this city. You told me that you began looking at this college two years ago. According to Levi, that’s when Creighton began making steps for this war.”
Her words were on repeat in my head.
I was the reason for all of this . . .
I never thought about the possibility that I was the reason he started down this path, but he only began to fight for control of the streets after I went to Miss Marcie’s house.
He never said a word.
. . . I won’t be able to guarantee your safety—
I was gutted.
He had done all of this for me, because of me. All of it. Since he was sixteen.
I began hyperventilating. I was the cause for so many deaths.
The pressure was suffocating me all over again. I couldn’t be the reason. I just couldn’t. Who was I? I was a no one. A foster kid. I was someone that was thrown away. I was tossed out like garbage, and then I met a boy when I was eight years old and he decided—Creighton’s words jarred me.
I wasn’t born with a soul, Blake. For fourteen years I was walking around, knowing something was different about me, but I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t care. Then one day a little girl gets out of this car and suddenly I got something in my chest.
My lungs stopped. They just completely stopped.
He’d told me. He had. I just hadn’t realized the ramification of how completely he meant what he said.
I met a little girl when she was eight years old, and suddenly I understood the world. You gave me the world. You gave me everything . . .
I wasn’t worth any of this, much less this responsibility. How could I process this?
Creighton was obsessed with me, but to be the reason for all of this? It wasn’t right.
I had so many conflicting emotions swirling inside of me. Unworthiness. Resentment. Regret. Who was I? I kept coming to that feeling. I was a nobody to the world.
Except to Creighton, a voice kept whispering in the back of my head. I wasn’t a no one to him.
“You okay?” Palma was asking. I heard her voice in the distance. My heart was pounding, thumping loudly in my chest.
He was capable of anything, literally anything. He could destroy the world, and I was either the motivation or the reins holding him back.
My vision began to blur at the edges.
Palma was talking, her voice droning in the distance, until she grew clear again and I heard, “—It makes sense. It’s almost simple. We just want our loved ones safe. He wants to make sure the world is safe for you, so he controls the world you’re in. It’s beautiful, in his twisted way.”
Christ. It was.
Chapter Forty-Nine
Blake
“Miss Green.” Tristian West approached me on the front steps of the center, dressed in his business suit and a nice custom-tailored jacket. He looked like the epitome of a young wealthy entrepreneur. His driver shut his back door, but remained standing on the side of his SUV. Still in guard mode. I knew his name by now. Pajn. I gave him a nod before greeting his employer.