Total pages in book: 45
Estimated words: 43870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 43870 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 219(@200wpm)___ 175(@250wpm)___ 146(@300wpm)
“I will.”
“And Axe? You really are doing a great job. Hang in there, sweetheart. That girl is thriving because of you. Mellie would be so proud and—”
“Stop.”
Kitty sighed. “Fine. I’ll talk to you later. Be good, be happy.”
I disconnected the call, tossed my cell onto the coffee table, and closed my eyes.
Some days I felt as if I could drown under the weight of old anguish and simple survival. Life would have been a fuck of a lot easier if I were a people person like Kitty—or hell, even Dennis. I was not. But I could fake it for Phoebe’s sake.
I’d do anything for Phoebe’s sake.
CHAPTER 3
TANNER
Confession: A certain vet had been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe too much.
I’d called Axel after he’d sent the paper work on the herd with a dozen nit-picky questions that had garnered nothing more than a series of grunts. And you know what? It had turned me the fuck on.
Not joking.
I’d sat in my office at my desk, rubbing my cock with the heel of my palm over rough denim as if I’d been lying in bed watching porn on my laptop. Anyone could have walked in, which would have been seriously mortifying. Of course I hadn’t whipped my dick out, but I’d replayed the sound of those wicked grunts while jerking off in the shower that night.
And the next.
Christ, I needed to get laid.
I was out of sorts and not quite thinking straight. Which might explain why I’d accepted an invitation to dinner with my ex.
That was a mistake.
Rich and I sat at a candlelit table for two at a nice steak house, muddling our way through casual conversation. The second we were left alone with a basket of warm bread, salted butter, and leather-clad menus, I knew this was a bad idea. But as Rich had pointed out, we lived a town away and ran in the same circles. Hell, he worked for Oak Ridge Winery.
Hiring a college acquaintance had been one thing, but sleeping with him? Not my brightest move. To be fair, Santiago was his direct boss. Still…it was complicated.
According to Rich, it didn’t have to be. We could be friends. And friends occasionally dined together.
But then…
“What if we were friends…with benefits?”
I almost spit out my wine. The cute brunet with freckles and a shy smile wasn’t the type to offer X-rated suggestions, and I honestly didn’t know what to say.
“I…uh.” I wiped my mouth and blinked like an owl. “You want us to…have…sex?”
Rich winced, slouching in his chair. “Nope. Never mind. That was embarrassing.”
“No, no. It’s—I’m just surprised,” I fumbled.
“I know. Sorry. Let’s drop it.” He lifted the menu to hide his face.
“Rich…” I waited for him to lower the menu to continue. “We can’t do that.”
“Are you seeing someone?”
“No, that’s not it.” I ran my thumb through the condensation on my water glass and hoped I wouldn’t get this wrong. “I think…I think we made the right choice.”
He bit his lip so hard, his jaw trembled. “Really? ’Cause I think I blew it. I wish I hadn’t pushed you or made demands or—”
“Hey. Don’t do that.” I reached across the table and squeezed Rich’s hand. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Then think about it,” he said, pulling away, his gaze glued to the menu. “Did you see that our Pinot is listed as the pick of the week? They’ve even included pairing suggestions. ‘Goes well with the tenderloin, filet mignon, and…’ ”
I tuned him out, my mind reeling.
And a few days later, I was still spinning.
I was restless, too. My brain wandered to places it had no business going, and I couldn’t refocus. But I wasn’t thinking about Rich. At least not in terms of rekindling a physical relationship.
No…I was thinking about Axel, and the job I’d planned to offer him, wondering if I’d developed a strange habit of shitting where I ate.
Look, I should never have gotten involved with an employee in the first place. Sure, Rich and I’d known each other in college, but once we’d become romantically involved, I should have been better about boundaries. I supposed I’d gotten caught up in a vision of recreating what my parents had once had. Unfortunately, the spark had been lacking or our timing had been off or…something.
Rich had pointed it out, and somehow thought the solution was marriage. I’d disagreed and we’d parted ways. A year had passed, and I’d thought we’d navigated the breakup as well as could be expected. But now…it felt as if we were back at square one.
Or…
Could it really be just sex?
No.
No way. It was never “just sex.”
And jerking off to naughty thoughts about an ornery stranger I’d probably never see again was equally futile.
I was an idiot, and no doubt my friends would agree. Not that I’d tell anyone.
I saved my philosophical musing for the goats.