Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
A while later, Hallie followed me into the kitchen wearing my T-shirt again.
“What would Ms. Goodman like for breakfast?” I inquired as I yanked open the refrigerator.
“It’s very hard for me to concentrate when you’re not wearing a shirt.”
I glanced over my shoulder at her, catching her checking me out. I chuckled. “We can keep it together long enough to have breakfast, right?”
“We have to.” She pouted. “I have an event tonight. I need to leave in a few hours.”
Shit. I’d wanted the whole day with her.
“I’m free tomorrow though.”
“Are you free the whole day?”
Hallie bit her lip against a smile. “You want me all day?”
“Yeah, I do. I wish I had you all day today.”
“Me too.” She shifted on the stool at my kitchen peninsula. “Should we talk about all of this?”
“Breakfast first. Then we’ll talk.”
“Okay. I could do pancakes if they’re in your repertoire?”
“They are, and your wish is my command.”
As I moved around the kitchen, I felt Hallie’s gaze on me. When I looked at her, I saw a question in her eyes. “What is it?”
She straightened her shoulders, her sex-tousled hair falling down her back with the movement. “You said you wanted me from the first time you saw my video diary. Is that true? I wasn’t sure you felt like that from the start. I thought maybe it grew into that for you.”
“I wanted you then. Even more when I saw you at Darcy’s engagement party. I thought your honesty was cute as hell, and I liked your pink hair and your beautiful eyes and your lips.” My gaze dropped to her mouth as I swallowed down the guilt I still felt for taking so long to tell her the truth. “I wanted to kiss you that night and every night since.”
Hallie’s eyes lit with delight. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since I watched your video letters.”
When I gazed into those sincere blue eyes, a quick slideshow of images filled my head—of her sitting on the stairs at the Hamptons house listening avidly to my stories about Miguel and my mom, of her laughing on the beach with Bandit, of us hanging out watching movies together, talking about things that didn’t matter and things that mattered the most. No judgment. Just mutual kindness and support. Feeling not alone for the first time in as long as I could remember.
“I wanted you then,” I murmured, “but not like I want you now. It’s more now. This is real, right? You and me?”
Her smile softened. “I’d like it to be.” Her expression tightened. “Though, without sounding like a jealous girlfriend, I think I would like to know why you were with Darcy last night.”
Not expecting that at all, I flipped Hallie’s pancakes onto a plate and pushed them toward her. “I told you. I was there as her friend. Just her friend.”
“I know she’s an important client, and I should probably not be saying this, but she cheated on you, Chris, while you were in space. She got engaged to the guy she cheated on you with after only a few months of dating him. Her actions had people gossiping about you online. How can you be friends with her? Unless . . . there are still feelings there?”
Wow, okay.
I rounded the counter and took the stool beside her, bracketing her knees between my thighs. Seeing the worry in her eyes made me take a minute. I hoped my keeping the truth from her hadn’t permanently damaged her ability to trust me. Fuck. I guess only time would tell. For now, I wanted to find the right words to assure her. “If I still had feelings for Darcy, I would have already told you when you and I were just friends. She and I dated for a few years, but—and I didn’t realize this until I met you—we didn’t entirely share ourselves with each other. Or at least I didn’t with her. I stopped trying.”
Hallie nodded, her expression pensive. “I noticed you only got a little personal with her in your videos.”
“Exactly.” I reached for her hand, addicted to the idea of being able to touch her freely now. Our fingers twined together playfully as I continued. “She knew some real things. Things that were hard to ignore. Like my terrible relationship with my father. But when I realized she didn’t want to talk about things that made her uncomfortable, like my mom and Miguel, I think I just shut off completely. I started seeing a therapist during my mission training, and I had her to talk through those things with, so I decided I didn’t need Darcy’s emotional support, especially if it discomfited her. Moreover, I didn’t like going to fancy society events with her and socializing with her friends. Despite my father existing in that world because of his company, I’m not a part of it. I didn’t grow up in that world, and I didn’t know how to relate to it. Darcy acknowledges her privilege, she works incredibly hard at her career, but she grew up as a New York socialite, and she likes that lifestyle. That would eventually have become an issue for us. She didn’t really have me, and I think she knew it. I don’t think she was just scared about me being in space and didn’t know how to process it. She was already pulling away before we even launched. Do I wish she’d waited to break up with me first before cheating on me? Yes. But I also know she didn’t intend to meet Matthias and fall in love with him while I was on the ISS, and I know she didn’t want me to lose focus while I was up there, and I appreciate that. People make mistakes, Hallie. Unless they’re repeat offenders, I will try to forgive them. I won’t hold someone to impossible standards that I myself can’t be held to.”