Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Colt set the journal down and stood, quickly pulling me into his arms. “He told me about it, too, Pip. And I forgot, as well.”
I drew back. “What?”
Nodding, he said, “I think when he was a sophomore in high school. He had an…um…an uh…particular…sexual experience he wrote about.”
“The threesome.”
Colt let out a shocked laugh. “Yes. That.”
“I’m so sorry I didn’t remember the journal.”
Lifting my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze, he said, “I didn’t remember it either, Pip. I’m just…fuck. I don’t know how I feel right now. I’m relieved to know why he did what he did, but I’m heartbroken he thought he had to end his life over his eyesight.”
“How do we tell your parents?” I asked softly.
Colt picked up the journal and flipped through the earlier entries. He finally found what he was looking for and ripped out a couple pages. He folded them up and put them in his back pocket.
“If you’re going to give that to your mother and father, maybe we should make sure there isn’t anything else in there?”
“It’s Grady’s private journal, so I have a strong feeling neither of them will want to invade his privacy, even now. But just in case, I think that threesome’s the only part he was really worried about.”
I blew out a breath. “I can’t believe he was going blind. Why didn’t he tell us?”
Colt shook his head. He looked devastated. “I think it was a combination of things that led him to do what he did. The diagnosis, and realizing he’d never be a pilot, Gina leaving him. He lost two things he loved the most.”
“I’m telling you right now, if I ever find that woman—and trust me, I’m going to look for her—I’m going to rip her head off and shove it up her ass.”
Colt’s brows rose. “I just got you back, Ensley. I really don’t want to be visiting you in jail.”
“Tell me you don’t want to track her down.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I do, but that isn’t going to bring Grady back.”
“It will sure as hell make me feel a bit better.”
Colt sighed and looked around the room. “I can’t even imagine what he was feeling.”
I followed his gaze. On one side of the room stood a bookshelf holding books, trophies, and memorabilia Grady had collected over the years. There were a few model planes he’d put together scattered throughout the room, along with pictures of various planes he’d printed out over the years. There was also a photo of the entire family at some kind of airshow event. Grady wore a huge smile on his face as they all stood in front of a fighter jet.
Sinking back onto the bed, I blew out a breath. “Life isn’t fair.”
“No, it’s not.”
I wasn’t sure how long we sat there. I knew we were both feeling numb, but, in an odd way, I felt such relief that we finally had answers. They didn’t make the loss any less devastating, but I prayed knowing what had motivated Grady would help ease some of the guilt from Colt’s shoulders.
Eventually, he stood. “We should get back to it.” Colt opened another drawer of the dresser and took out a handful of folded T-shirts, putting them in another bag.
A part of me wanted to leave. I didn’t want to be here in this room any longer, surrounded by all the things that Grady held so dear. I wanted to run, bury my head in the sand, and forget this day ever happened.
Instead, I stood and walked into the hall and grabbed a few boxes. I put them together and started to pack up the items on the bookcase. Books first, then the planes. I left all the photos for Colt to go through. I figured what he didn’t keep, he’d give to his mother and father.
We worked in silence for the next few hours, only taking a break when Colt said he needed to get out for some fresh air and lunch. His mother and father had gone to town, so we did the same. Stopping for a quick bite at River Falls Pizza, then heading back to his parents’ house. We talked about everything but Grady at lunch, but on the drive back to the house, Colt and I discussed the best way to give the journal to his mother and father.
In the end, we both agreed to do it later that day.
Once back at the house, we worked in silence, continuing to pack up Grady’s life, box by box. The items that were being donated, Colt brought down to his truck. It was mostly his clothes, books, and some other items that Colt felt Grady would agree needed to be donated.
There was only one box that Colt had marked to keep. It held Grady’s trophies, medals, a couple model airplanes, and the few pieces of jewelry that Grady had owned. Those included a cross his grandmother had given him, a few friendship bracelets made by me and other friends, and his graduation ring.