Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84868 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 424(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Ensley
Ten years ago, my world shattered when I lost not only my best friend, but the man I loved. Colt’s brother was my best friend, and his death took two people from my life in a single moment. One I lost to tragedy, and one I lost to grief.
I waited for Colt to come home and grieve with the rest of us after his brother’s death, but after the first year passed, it became painfully clear he wasn’t coming back to River Falls.
I did what I had to do to keep moving forward. I pushed every thought of Colt out of my mind. If only my heart had known how to loosen its grip on him. Instead, I poured myself into building a career as a farrier, supported my family’s ranch, and watched one sibling after another find their happily ever after while I stood still, holding on to someone who wasn’t there.
Eventually, I realized that if I was ever going to find my own happiness, I had to stop waiting for it. I had to take control of my future.
And just when I finally believed I had everything figured out, Colt returned to River Falls, and my carefully built life fell apart all over again.
Colt
After ten years away, I’m back in River Falls, not entirely sure where I fit anymore.
I left after my brother took his own life, drowning in guilt and convinced I was responsible. I couldn’t face my family. I couldn’t face Ensley. So, I ran and stayed gone far longer than I ever intended.
I told myself time would make it easier. It didn’t.
The moment I see Ensley Wilde sitting in a chair beside my father’s hospital bed, everything I buried comes rushing back. Including the guilt I’ve never managed to outrun.
For years, we’ve all carried our own version of what happened to Grady, and the guilt that came with each version. But when the truth finally comes to light, will it be enough to heal what’s broken between us, or will it destroy what’s left entirely?
Can I earn my parents’ trust again?
And more importantly… is there still a chance to win back Ensley Wilde’s heart, and the life I left behind? Can I finally give her the future she’s always dreamed of?
Dear Reader,
Before you begin this story, I need to let you know that it deals with the sensitive subject of suicide.
If you need emotional support or have a loved one you think may need it, please call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.
There is also an organization to help as well called, Reasons To Stay
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Ensley
Ten years ago
In my nineteen years on this Earth, I had never been to a funeral. Or a celebration of life. Grady Owens had been my best friend for as long as I could remember, and to know he’d been silently suffering about something and didn’t tell me, was enough to make me sick.
He’s gone.
Eighteen years old and so much life ahead of him, and he was gone. His brother, Colt—who was also my boyfriend of two years—was sitting next to me on the other swing. He’d hardly spoken at all the last five days. The moment he found out that Grady had taken his own life, he retreated into himself. He barely even talked to me, which hurt like hell. It felt like I had lost both Grady and Colt at the same time. The only difference was that Colt was alive, just lost within himself.
I swallowed the lump in my throat before I attempted to clear it.
“Do you want to talk at all?”
Colt turned his head to look at me. His honey-colored eyes were empty of all emotion. “About what?”
I looked down at the ground as I barely swung. “Grady.”
He sighed. Not in frustration, but in defeat. “Did he mention anything to you about being upset or depressed?”
“No,” I replied quickly. “I think that’s the worst part of all this. I don’t know why he did it.”
Colt stood and started to pace. He pushed his fingers through his brown hair, which looked like he’d done that same action a dozen times already.
My stomach churned as I asked my next question. “Did he say something to you?”
He stopped pacing. “No. Nothing. We spoke that morning, and I didn’t notice anything wrong. He told me he had plans that night with someone. I told him to have fun, then left to help a few clients. That was the last time I saw him.”
His voice cracked, and I quickly made my way over to him. I wrapped my arms around him, and he did the same. He held me tight as he whispered, “I should have known something was wrong, Ensley. I should have known!”