Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
I'm almost happy to be here except for the fact that Declan is next to Valentina. I know we have to play it this way. I know he told me to trust him, but I hate every second of the two of them together—I hate it with the heat of a thousand burning suns.
She's across the room. It's not unusual because she's always somewhere where there's a large crowd of people. She's present, composed, and flawlessly dressed, and of course, Declan is perfect.
I’ve watched her enough at some of these events to have built a working map of her patterns. She positions herself adjacent to Declan but is never reliant. She answers questions with just enough to satisfy and never more. She smiles at the right moments but lets her eyes drift a fraction of a second too soon.
It's taken me a long time to name what's bothering me about it.
It's not that I expected her to love him. How could she? And even though I hate the thought of him with someone who doesn’t love him, I thought I’d made my peace with it until I was standing in the same room watching it.
It's that she doesn't have to.
She doesn't have to be curious about him or intrigued by him or try to learn the particular nuances of who he is. She doesn't have to earn any of it. She just has to show up, look expensive, and let the arrangement do the rest.
And she'll get to keep him.
That's the part I can't swallow.
I know him. I know him in ways she hasn't bothered to learn and never will. I know him. I know what makes him laugh and what makes him sober. I know that little divot he gets between his eyes when he’s concentrating and how adorably boyish he looks when I call his name. I know he sat on my sofa, elbows to knees, researching Irish baby names and pretending it was purely logistical.
She will stand next to him at the altar and take his name and his ring, and she doesn't know a single true thing about him.
I reach for my glass of Coke and drink it. I smile, looking at my phone, but I'm paying attention to her.
I know the McCarthys too. I have sat at enough tables, visited their homes, and befriended the people who make it run. They are my family.
And someone's fucking around with my family.
I watch her across the room again, laughing now at something Declan said. Or at least she’s faking it, but it's indistinguishable from an actual laugh.
I set my drink down.
The woman I've spent months stalking on social media has a full, unguarded laugh. I know it. I have watched it. I was pissed at how pretty she looked when she laughed. The woman across this room has the same face, the same hair, the same careful composure.
But she doesn't laugh like that.
I keep my expression neutral, and I don't look at Valentina again, because if I'm right…
I smile at Cavin when he appears next to me with another bottle of Coke.
“Another drink, lass?” he asks. “Heard you were quite the hero with Da.”
“Everybody keeps saying hero,” I say with an eye roll.
“That's because you were.” He taps his Coke bottle to mine.
I watch Keenan stretch his arm across Caitlin's shoulders and allow myself one moment to wish that was Declan and me. I pick up my phone to text Bronwyn when Colm drops into the seat on the right beside me. I look up in surprise.
“Hey.” Declan’s younger brother looks a lot like him. He could’ve been a younger version of Declan, with the same sharp, roguishly hot features, but he’s slightly shorter and bulkier. Caitlin says he’s a mini version of their father, Cormac.
“You’re looking well, lass,” he says with a smile.
“Thanks, Colm.” I smile, then look back at my phone.
“I mean it.” He leans in slightly. “Genuinely. There’s something different about you.”
Oh shut up, Colm.
I’ve always liked him and still do, but is it that obvious I’m pregnant? They say pregnant women glow.
“New moisturizer,” I say with a smile. “Amazing what they can bottle, isn’t it?”
He smiles before he leans in closer. “You seeing someone?” he asks quietly. I blink in surprise and look at him more closely. Is he… hitting on me?
I feel the shift in the air before I confirm it. Declan’s looking at us. I don’t turn my head. I don’t need to. Colm’s quick glance and frown do the work for me.
“No,” I say, which is technically true in all the ways that matter to Colm. I’m not seeing anyone. Hell, I skipped right over that part, didn’t I?
He considers that like a man who’s filing information away for later. “Right,” he says finally, with a small smile that doesn’t give anything away. I need to learn that skill myself.