Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 87709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 87709 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 439(@200wpm)___ 351(@250wpm)___ 292(@300wpm)
I get it. “Aye, and we never were.”
“Then we’d have to deal with Da,” he says with a laugh. “But we learned to keep our gobs shut, didn’t we?”
“Aye.”
Point taken.
He leans back in his chair and laces his fingers behind his head as the guard gives us the five-minute warning. “You should travel more, Dec. You ever want to go to Boston?”
Fuck.
“Time.” The guard nearby motions that my time is up. Torin’s already standing, walking away, the men near him shrinking noticeably back.
Christ. I’m still processing what he said, what it means.
I keep my pace even through the corridor. Through security. Out into the car park.
I'm almost at my car when someone steps into my path.
Not aggressive. Just—there. Big lad, younger than me, standing easy, like he's been waiting a while and doesn't mind. He has the particular stillness of someone who's done this before.
“Nice of you to visit,” he says. Is that an American accent?
He walks away without another word, hands in his pockets, like he's just heading to his own car.
I stand there for a moment before I get into my car.
They were already here. Already watching. Probably saw me enter.
I start the car and drive home.
Chapter Three
BRIDGET
Declan
How’d the treatment go?
Next question
Declan
Trouble. Tell me.
Is it possible to hear a growl in a text?
Painful and embarrassing and I wanted to die, but I didn’t, and I’m here to tell you about it
Declan
But did you die?
Declan
For Christ’s sake. I don’t suppose Italian wedding soup would help?
Me: I really can’t eat right now. Cheer me up?
Declan
There once was a lad from north Dublin. Who couldn’t quite fit his fat nob in. He said fuck it to hell, and rang her wee bell, then cried when she called it a bobbin.
WHERE DID YOU EVEN LEARN THAT???
Declan
Declan
EXPLAIN YOURSELF
Declan
In my defense I was asked… and very young.
You were breakdancing, Declan. IN PUBLIC
Declan
I did an excellent worm
My brother-in-law is going to actually kill you
Declan
He tried. I'm faster than I look.
I'm showing this to everyone I ever meet for the rest of my life
Declan
You'll do no such thing.
Or what???
Declan
FAFO
I’m a very good girl
Declan
You’d better be
Two a.m…
Declan
You awake?
I am now
Declan
Sorry.
Just teasing. I was reading. What's wrong?
Declan
Nothing. Go back to sleep.
Declan.
Declan
I'm fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow.
I'm here if you're not.
He didn't reply. But he didn't stop being awake either. I could see the little dots appearing and disappearing for twenty minutes before I fell back asleep. And when I woke, there was no reply
I overheard you’re being sent to America and it could be a long time. You couldn’t tell me? I thought we were friends
Delete, delete, delete.
I guess I know why you didn’t text me back last night
I’m going to miss you so much
Delete, delete, delete.
You’ll never love me back, will you?
Delete, delete, delete.
Declan
I guess you heard the news. Want to meet for gelato this week?
I can’t keep doing this
Delete, delete, delete.
Found a website today
IRISH SINGLES - Irelands #1 Dating App
Declan
Don’t you even think about downloading that
But I do, anyway. In the “in search of” field, I write, “Devastatingly handsome, deeply unimpressed, answers nothing, knows my name already. Blue eyes. Tattoos. Somehow sweet despite every protest to the contrary. Dangerous. Sharp jaw, a few days of stubble, tattoos crawling up the neck and disappearing somewhere I am apparently not meant to think about. Kisses like it’s an Olympic sport and he’s going for gold.”
I hit post, then delete it in the next breath.
That night, I dream of the one kiss.
They're letting me go home tomorrow. Said it wasn’t a relapse.
Declan
Thank fuck. And I know.
How do you know???
Declan
I know everything that happens in that hospital, Trouble.
That is genuinely unsettling
Declan
Good. Sleep, love.
Declan
So, you’re really just going to not respond to my texts?
Declan
You missed my going away party
Declan
I leave in the morning
Declan
Just landed in Boston
Declan
Cavin says you’re fine.
Declan
temporary flat…
Three months later…
I miss you, too
It’s the last treatment today
Declan
YES. We need to celebrate!
Oh, I fully plan on it. Thought you were still in America?
Declan
I’ll be home for a quick visit at the weekend. Me and the lads will take you and Erin out to dinner
Erin and Cavin are in England on holiday
Declan
I’ll bring Bronwyn, then. You have to celebrate
Need a chaperone at your age?
Declan
Watch it
Yes, sir
I miss my parents. They weren’t good parents but they were still mine
Declan
I know, love, and I’m sorry
I stare at the word love for way, way too long.
I know exile for their betrayal is a mercy. Cavin explained
Declan
Aye. It took some convincing but I managed to make Seamus see reason
What did it take
Declan?
Declan, why won’t you tell me?
Do you ever think about the thing we don't talk about
Declan
No.
You replied in four seconds. Liar
Declan
Go to sleep, Bridget.
You can’t tell me what to do
Declan
I have an excellent memory
Touché, sir. Good night
Dr. Rosenberg said the word “remarkable” today
Declan
Did he?
Aye, three times
Declan
That’s my good girl
I put my phone face down on my desk and sit very still for a moment. How can something feel so good and so painful at the same time?