Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104657 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 523(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104657 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 523(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 349(@300wpm)
“I slept with a random firefighter. It was years ago.”
Our gazes lock, but I look away first and slide out of the booth. “Don’t you have a date on Fortnite at eleven?”
“I do.” She stands, slipping her AirPods into her purse along with her phone. Then she straightens her dress. “And I need a pair of underwear.”
“Agree to disagree,” I say.
She wrinkles her nose at me before I lead the way to the door.
“Can I get a ride home?” I ask, holding it open for her.
“What do I get in return?” She flips her hair over her shoulder while I watch her sexy legs and ass in that short dress. “How about you tell your friends that after a little self-reflection, you’ve decided I’m pretty awesome, and you want me to stay in your shed while my house is being built?” She opens her door and disappears into her car.
I slide into the passenger seat. “I’m a terrible liar. They’ll never believe that.”
“You’re right. You are terrible.” She starts her car and turns up the music. It’s reminiscent of a classical song, but like Beethoven played by a heavy metal band.
When we get home, it’s just after ten thirty.
“Think your mom is still awake?” I unbuckle.
“No. Why? Are you wanting to make her an offer for the painting?”
I open my door. “Tempting, but no.” I meet Everleigh on the driver’s side just as she shuts her door and locks it. “I shouldn’t have stopped you from having sex with the football player. I was out of line, and I apologize.”
She slides her purse strap onto her shoulder. “You didn’t stop me. You expressed your jealousy, and after careful consideration, I chose to abstain so you wouldn’t lose sleep over another man being with me.”
“Whoa. What? No.” I laugh. “I told you I was looking out for you, not me.”
“Since when did you make it your job to look out for me?”
“I never said it was my job. More of a . . .” I glance around because she’s practiced in staring at people for long periods of time, and it’s creepy. “It was a courtesy since we’re roommates. Nothing I wouldn’t have done for Maren or Jamie when they lived here.”
“So it doesn’t bother you to imagine me getting railed in the bathroom by a football player?”
“Jesus.” I shake my head. “Is this how you talk to your patients?”
“You’re not my patient. You can’t—”
“Yeah. Yeah. I know. I can’t afford you.” I turn and head toward the back door. “For the record, I don’t imagine you having sex, so I’m obviously not bothered by anything you do. Good night.”
“I’ll be inside soon. Don’t forget I’m playing Fortnite at eleven.”
“It’s my PlayStation, and I’m playing tonight, so too bad.”
“You’re not even supposed to be here.” She jogs after me. “And I told you I was playing.”
“Well, I’m here, and now I’m fucking playing.” I reach for the doorknob just as she grabs my arm.
“Let’s be honest. It’s past your bedtime, old man.”
I slowly turn. “What the fuck did you just call me? Old man?”
“You’re forty. Right?” She folds her hands in front of her.
“If I were, it would hardly be considered old.”
“You like the word fuck. There are other great words you could use. Some of the kids I work with have wonderful alternatives like: freaking, frack, fudge, flip, drat, barnacles.”
I squint at her.
She shrugs. “I should get you a thesaurus. It’s never too late to expand your vocabulary.”
“Do that. I’ve always wanted a dinosaur.” I turn and open the door.
Everleigh giggles, and I grin with my back to her, but quickly compose myself before she kicks off her heels and steps in front of me, face splitting from her smile. “I’m getting you a synonym dinosaur. And I like the word fuck too. But it loses its luster and impact when you use it too much. I let my young patients use it once per session. But I tell them to use it wisely. Use it like a hundred exclamation points.”
“Stop shrinking me.”
“Stop saying that. It sounds like you’re getting smaller.”
I rub my temples. “Then stop making me feel so small.”
“Oh!” Her eyes widen as she shakes her head a half dozen times. “William, I may not have looked at your penis well enough to evaluate your foreskin or lack thereof, but I know you’re not a small man. Granted, aging can make it appear smaller. Things like abdominal weight can hide the base, therefore making it appear shrunken. I don’t think you have that problem yet. Also, less collagen production can cause a decrease in elasticity, leading to a softer and smaller appearance. And obviously, medical conditions like ED result in flaccidity when you need it to stand up and answer its call to duty.”
Fuck. And I mean fuck!
“Have you had sex since I stuck my big dick inside of you eleven years ago?”