Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
Motherfucking Christ, what did I just do?
The soft carpet underfoot was silent as I paced back and forth, yanking the hair on my head to keep from rushing back into Robbie’s room and shoving him back down to his knees.
The memory of him at my feet was enough to make me hard again, my cock and balls confused and angry at the best and worst moments of their lives.
Thankfully, there was a small refrigerator in my room stocked with cold cans of flavored seltzer. I quickly grabbed one and put it against my throat, rolling it over my carotid in hopes it would chill me the fuck out.
When I’d finally calmed down enough to think straight, I called my sister, Nadine.
“It’s late,” she said instead of a polite greeting.
I glanced at the clock in the built-in bookcase to my right. She was right. “Are you asleep?”
“No, but I could have been.” Snarky little sisters never aged out of their bullshit.
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I suggested calmly, knowing it would annoy her.
“How was the funeral?”
“I kissed him.”
It was enough. She knew my dilemma because I’d confessed to her in a moment of weakness when she’d made a pointed comment last year that I seemed to no longer be dating men. They can’t compare to Robbie.
Silence fell over the line like the hush after an execution.
“I assume you aren’t referring to your best friend’s corpse,” she said dryly.
I groaned and dropped onto the side of the bed. “Nadine. I fucking kissed him. We were drinking, and it just… it just happened.”
And that sweet, beautiful man had come the moment I’d touched him.
He was so goddamned perfect. So pure and hot. It boggled my mind that someone hadn’t snatched him up years ago and hoarded him the way my Magpie hoarded his own treasures.
“What the fuck?” Nadine cried. “Now? After all this time? He’s vulnerable, Kit. His father just died!”
“You don’t think I know that?” I hissed. “You think I wasn’t trying my hardest to just be there for him in whatever capacity he needed?”
“And you thought he needed your tongue in his mouth.”
I covered my eyes with my hand. “It wasn’t like that. I was comforting him, but we were drinking. And… it just happened. I don’t know. But I stopped it. And left.” I didn’t mention the furtive hand job. It was too shameful.
“Well, that’s something. Now he probably feels abandoned,” she said, her tone dripping with accusation.
I fell back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. “No shit, Nadine. I fucked it up. And now he doesn’t want me in his life anymore. Right when he needs someone on his side. I’m a fucking asshole.”
“You’re not a superhero, you know,” she reminded me with a sigh. “You’re allowed to make mistakes.”
“Well, good. Because this was a doozy,” I muttered. “The bar was pretty low, Nadine. All I had to do today was remind him he wasn’t alone. He has me. And somehow, we ended the day with him not even having me.”
“I don’t see why he can’t,” she began. It was a conversation we’d had before, and she knew how pointless it was.
“We’ve been over this.”
She let silence fall on the line between us again before finally speaking. “It’s okay to fall in love with him, Kit,” she said softly. “He’s twenty-nine years old.”
“He’s thirty-two!” I hissed. “Jesus, Nadine.”
The sound of her soft laughter took the edge off my mood. “I know, I just wanted to hear you say it. God, do you even hear yourself? He’s beyond an adult.”
“He’s Robert’s kid. I’ve known him since he was in diapers.”
“You might as well have been too,” she reminded me. “You were a production assistant, right out of college. It was Robert’s first movie. You were barely old enough to drink, and Robert was so scared, he was willing to make friends with anyone so he didn’t feel as out of his depth as he was.”
It was true. The two of us had become fast friends. I’d appreciated the fact that Robert already had a wife and a kid. He was stable and serious, eager to work hard and make a name for himself. We’d moved up the ranks together, him in front of the cameras and me behind them. But as soon as he’d realized I wielded more power than he did in the industry—the ability to green-light projects and find money for almost anything, even when he couldn’t—things between us had begun to carry a tinge of competition. At least that’s the way it had felt to me.
But by then, I’d gotten to know Roxana and Robert, and I couldn’t imagine giving it up. It worked for Robert, too. His relationship with me had been one of the things he traded on, made sure to mention in interviews, used as a subtle status symbol.