Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
“I hate you,” I whispered.
“No, you don’t.”
“Promise me vodka,” I begged.
“As many shots as you want. Thirty more minutes, and then it’s blackout drunk, okay?”
He was true to his word. By nine o’clock that night, we were going shot for shot on my father’s back terrace with the sparkling lights of LA in the distance.
Thankfully, we were way off to the side in front of the slider doors to my old bedroom, so I could sneak into my room without saying goodbye to anyone. Jason and Sam seemed to be doing a great job at host duties which I appreciated more than I could say. They’d even tried distracting me earlier in the day with something they called “Funeral Bingo”, during which one or the other would lean over and murmur, “Ex-wife perfume, check,” or “Actor tears, check,” or “Fake cousin, I win.”
Without my friends, I would have been even more heartsore and alone. But I was too tired to even pretend to joke around with them anymore tonight.
“I was never enough for him,” I lamented to Kit with a slightly slurred voice. “Never interesting enough. Outgoing enough. Jet-setting enough. Just not… enough.”
Further down the terrace, people wandered in and out of the open sliding doors to the living room, helping themselves to the never-ending alcohol and food the caterers had provided. Thankfully, everyone was steering well clear of me with the single exception of Kit, who hadn’t let me out of his sight.
“Not true. He was very proud of you,” Kit attempted, leaning back on the chaise next to mine. “Kept photos of you on his trailer mirror in every show he was ever in.”
I waved my hand through the air dismissively. “Marriage and kids were status symbols. Made him seem… I don’t know what the word is.”
“Stable?”
“Slutty?” I corrected.
“Forbidden?” Kit suggested.
I sighed. “Something like that. You know that when I graduated from college and went with my friends to Rabbit Island, he called to ask why I wasn’t in school?”
“That can’t be right,” Kit insisted, waving a server over and asking for a couple of bottles of water and some crackers. Thankfully, she’d dropped off fresh cocktails for us first.
“Can’t it? Do you remember what he said when I told him I wanted to become a teacher?” I tossed the cherry from my new drink into the shrubs.
Kit winced and rattled the ice cubes in his vodka tonic. “He wasn’t a fan.”
“‘You think I want to tell people my son sings the alphabet for a living? What happened to ambition? Style? Self-respect, for god’s sake.’ That’s what he said.” My breath came out funny, like a sob that didn’t catch.
Kit turned on his side and reached out to touch the tip of his nose before running a finger down the center of mine. “You’re doing exactly what you were meant to do. And you’re amazing at it.”
I felt tears smarting, so I batted his hand away. “Cut it out,” I said without any heat to my words. “I’ve had enough tears for the day, thank you very much.”
We sat in companionable silence for a while, only taking sips here and there from our drinks, before I turned my head to look at him. “Why are you drunk?”
He rolled his head to face me. “Was never gonna let you drunk alone.”
I giggled. “Drink.”
He scrunched his forehead in confusion. “I am drinking.”
“No, you said drunk.”
“You’re drunk.”
“Never mind.” I went back to looking at the lights below.
“You know you’re not alone, right?” he asked softly. “You have me. I’m your family. Always will be.”
“Except I am.” I was tired of being awake for this, so I stood up and turned to my room. “Officially an orphan. No more parents. No siblings. No nothing. Done.”
I felt him move behind me, following me through the open sliders and closing them behind us.
“You’re wrong.” Kit sounded almost angry. “Dead fucking wrong, do you hear me?”
My breath hitched. He was so fucking sexy standing there in my bedroom in his suit pants and wrinkled button-down with the sleeves rolled up and just a peek of chest hair poking through his open collar. My teenage fantasy come to life right here.
“I used to jerk off to this,” I confessed with a little laugh, gesturing to him but not meeting his eyes. “You here in my room, looking like that.”
“Like what?”
“Like you wanted to devour me. Strip me bare and show me all the ways a man could feel pleasure with another man.”
Kit’s mouth opened, and his eyes darkened. Somehow, he was suddenly standing closer than he’d been, but I wasn’t sure which one of us had moved. “You fantasized about me? In your bed?”
I nodded, no longer giving a single shit that he was hearing the truth. “So you see, I don’t want you to tell me you’re like an uncle to me. That you’re family. That’s the last thing I want to hear. The idea of you as my uncle makes me sick. After everything I’ve fantasized about you doing to my naked body?” Now I did laugh. “Not uncle stuff, Kit. Not even close. I’m sorry you still think of me like a kid because I sure as hell don’t think of you like an uncle.”