Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 91748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91748 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
“Yeah, the Louisiana branch spoke with Telos Kris’s men. He said he got his point across. You were lucky not to have been home. No reason to waste time tracking you down.”
I was lucky not to have been home. Bile burned my throat. Lucky? Lucky that my parents had been murdered? No, I wasn’t lucky.
“While I’m here, why don’t we watch your parents’ funeral together? And before you say anything, hear me out. You need that piece of closure for them. I know losing them will always be a part of your life. It won’t go away, but you need to have that finality. If that makes sense.”
I need finality?
No, it didn’t make sense. But I did want to know their life had been respected and acknowledged. I hadn’t wanted to think about that video because I wasn’t sure how watching it would affect me. Having Calvin here, however, made it seem less daunting. If I fell apart, I would have him beside me.
“Okay,” was all I could manage.
I’d watch it. With him.
The relief on his face was immediate. I knew that had been hard for him to bring up.
“When you do have the green light to leave, you can’t go back to your house. Not yet. The house—it’s still a crime scene. Until the investigation is complete, they can’t allow anyone inside.”
I wasn’t sure I could go back there anyway. Walk inside and know what had happened. But there were things I wanted. Things of my parents’. Memories.
“Where will I go?” I asked him, realizing that this limbo I’d been existing in was coming to a close.
“I know you want to finish school, but this semester is a bust anyway. And you could use a break from things this summer. Come stay with me. California will be good for you. A change.”
California? There would have been a time I’d have jumped at the chance to live with Calvin. But now, it was all different. How I felt when I was with him had changed. Sure, over the years, my love for him had evolved, and the romantic side of it faded. I had come to see him as the friend he was and not hope for more simply because I knew for him it would never be more. Deep down I’d held onto the idea it would change for us or evolve. That was gone now.
The things that had stirred in me with Forge were so bright, wild, and intense that I knew what I’d felt for Calvin came from safety and comfort. I trusted him. He was a major part of my life. He’d been with me through every milestone. We’d grown up with each other. Become adults together. He was a piece of me. But I’d never felt even a smidgen for him the things that Forge had woken up inside me. With Forge, it was terrifying and exhilarating, all at the same time.
My parents had been my home. All that I had left of family now was Calvin. It made sense to go stay with him. But the idea of leaving here brought a new sorrow I didn’t want to face.
“We can work out all the specifics later,” he told me, standing up. “Right now, we need to focus on getting you ready to move on with your life, and that starts with watching their funeral.”
I hadn’t realized he meant we were going to watch it right away. I didn’t move to get up, and he held out his hand for me to take. I stared at it for a moment, then slipped mine into it and let him pull me to my feet.
“You can do this,” he assured me. “I’ll be right there beside you.”
I nodded, not sure I could do it, but maybe he was right. Maybe it was time.
We gathered our things and started the short walk back to the house.
“Once you’re in LA with me, the gang can fly in, and we can all catch up. Ned and Miley still aren’t speaking, but they can come at different times,” Calvin told me.
I’d been with them less than a month ago, yet it seemed like another lifetime. The idea of seeing them all again should bring me some small solace, but it did nothing. It felt as if I were sinking, and I didn’t know how to stop it. This place—no, Forge—had become a lifeboat for me. He’d been there through my darkest days as a distraction, a reason to smile again, and now I was losing him. Or perhaps I had already lost him.
“I can sleep on the sofa, and you can have my bed.” Calvin continued talking.
I shook my head. “No. I’ll sleep on the sofa.”
“My roommate is a weather anchor on one of the local channels. He gets up at three in the morning to make his coffee. The living room and kitchen are open to each other. I’m not letting you sleep in there.”