Total pages in book: 79
Estimated words: 76693 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76693 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 383(@200wpm)___ 307(@250wpm)___ 256(@300wpm)
She choked on a laugh while taking another sip of her wine. “You almost made wine shoot out of my nose.”
“Don’t you know, that’s all part of the interpretive dance for wine making. You must not have been paying attention in class.”
“As well as stomping on grapes.” She made an exaggerated motion of picking grapes, then stomping her feet.
His smile couldn’t get any bigger. “Oh, nice. And you said your degree was useless.”
He originally assumed this would only be a fast and furious hookup, but he was really enjoying their conversation and didn’t want to rush it.
“Does having a daughter mean you were previously married?”
“It does.”
“And?”
“We’re friendly still. Our marriage wasn’t full of turmoil or anything. One day I simply realized that…”
That he didn’t want to limit himself to only a woman. But he also didn’t want to cheat to fill his needs. He and his ex sat down together one night and actually had a very reasonable conversation about it. Luckily, not all divorces turn out to be ugly.
But then, he was completely honest with Molly and accepted all the blame. He didn’t want her to think it was her fault. Restlessness had been clawing at his insides.
Sometimes it still did.
“Realized?” she prodded with curiosity in her eyes as she peered at him over the rim of her mug.
“That I needed to be true to myself to be happy. One day I realized I was suppressing some of my urges. I was bottling it up inside and needed to relieve that pressure before I exploded, possibly leaving a path of destruction.”
“Urges? Like serial killer urges?”
“No.” Of course she was joking, but… “I’m—”
Holy shit. Was he actually going to admit it out loud to someone he hardly knew? Even his family and closest friends didn’t know. But…
It was time.
And if he was reading Hope correctly, he doubted she’d judge him for it. “I’m…”
One of Hope’s eyebrows cocked and she drew out, “You’re?”
He pulled in a deep breath and on the exhale, “Bisexual” escaped.
There. It was now out in the universe.
And the sky didn’t fall.
Hope blinked and confusion filled her face. “Okay?”
“Like your yoga, not everyone is open to that lifestyle.”
“But this place”—she waved her hand around—“is one of the most accepting places I’ve ever been.”
“Yes. I can freely be who I am here. Without judgement.”
“And have you been open about it?” she asked.
“No. Believe it or not, you’re only the second person I’ve told.” He was surprised how freeing it felt to finally admit it. Like a heavy load had been lifted from his shoulders.
With her mouth gaping, she set her mug down with a clunk on the tiny two-person table. “Wait a minute. How old are you?”
“Forty-six.”
“You’ve kept your sexuality hidden for forty-six years?”
“Well, the men I’ve been with had an idea,” he half-teased, then shrugged. “Or they assumed I was gay, I guess. The truth is, I’ve never been in an actual relationship with a man. It’s only been casual encounters.” Why was he spilling this info tonight?
Instinct told him she’d be fine with him being bisexual. Not all women were.
“In secret.”
“Yes.”
“Wow. I’m sorry you felt the need to hide it.”
“Some of it had to do with my career. I entered the state police academy right after turning twenty-one.” He had been so young and only learning about himself at the time.
He had girlfriends in high school, of course, but his eyes had occasionally wandered to his male classmates.
It took him a while to figure out that interest was more than curiosity. He was attracted to men—or, at that age, boys—as much as girls.
At the time, he didn’t know what to do with that information. So for a while, he did nothing, hoping that interest would just fade away.
It didn’t. It got stronger. Then he met Molly and they hit it off. He hoped she would be enough for him. Sadly, she wasn’t.
Again, not her fault. It was his. He wasn’t sure how she would take his confession. She’d been surprised since he’d hidden it well enough, and also sad for him. At the time, they decided not to tell Laurel about it, only that they were breaking up due to irreconcilable differences.
The reason wasn’t important to their daughter, she’d been more concerned about the fact her parents were splitting up. Now that she was in her early twenties, he’d considered mentioning it, but since he wasn’t seeing a man, there really wasn’t a point.
He figured it was best to have a reason to bring it up. It might be a bit weird for him to randomly confess that he was into both men and women.
But maybe he was going about it the wrong way.
“I can imagine,” she started, “with you being in a male-dominated career, it had to be a bit more difficult to tell your co-workers that you were anything other than a straight, alpha male.”