Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 100605 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100605 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 402(@250wpm)___ 335(@300wpm)
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“For what?”
“Everything.”
“I don’t know if that’s enough,” I said.
“I don’t either. But maybe in time it will be. I’m not going anywhere.”
Chapter 25
Allegra
“I THINK I screwed up.”
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” Cassie said. “Are we referring to insulting Harry’s manhood, quitting your job, or are you still paying those ridiculous dues to Equinox when you haven’t been there in over a year?”
I was actually still paying four hundred dollars a month to Equinox. I made a mental note to cancel my membership and sighed. “I’m talking about things with Matteo.”
“Who?”
“My neighbor. I didn’t mention him before because I wasn’t ready to admit there was something going on. But…there is.”
“Oooh. This sounds juicy. Wait, hang on. I want to get a glass of wine for this conversation.”
I looked at the clock on the microwave and did the math. “It’s pretty early in New York still.”
“Don’t be judgy. Ryan’s mother is coming over for dinner at four—you know, early-bird-special time. And a little pregaming will help me control myself when she tells me what’s wrong with my chicken piccata.”
I laughed. “I’d have one with you, but I think I had enough the other night.”
“Oh boy. I’m going to need a full glass for this. But give me a minute because I have to open a bottle and I need two hands.”
“Okay.”
I heard the sound of Cassie moving around the kitchen, a drawer opening and closing, and then a minute later there was a loud pop! followed by the familiar glug glug of wine being poured.
Then she came back on the line. “Okay. I’m ready. Tell me what you did to push the hot neighbor away.”
“How did you know I—” I shook my head and sighed. “Never mind. I did.”
“Start from the beginning.”
I did a quick recap on how much time Matteo and I had been spending together before our trip, including the kisses we’d shared and the night at the club. “That brings me to the trip to Amalfi. When I decided to go see my sister, he offered to come with me.”
Cassie interrupted. “Hang on. Go see who?”
“Oh my God.” I laughed. “It really has been a busy week. I haven’t even told you about Camilla yet.”
It took another fifteen minutes to catch Cassie up on that calamity before I moved on to the actual trip down to Positano.
“Thankfully, Matteo drove because the road was insane. I swear, I’ve never held on to the oh-shit bar that tightly in my life. The highway winds around a mountain, high above the Mediterranean. You’re literally looking straight down a cliff on a narrow, two-lane road that huge tour buses swing around like they have a death wish. But the view was incredible.”
“View shmoo,” she countered. “I’ll Google it. Get to the good stuff.”
I smiled. “Basically, I got really upset after seeing my sister, and Matteo let me cry my eyes out in the car. He pulled me over the center console onto his lap and held me for the longest time.”
“Awww… I like him already.”
My smile faded into something softer, sadder. “Me too. He’s a really good guy. Has these old-school Italian values you don’t find in guys back in New York. Like he helps the older people in his community and just has a protective way about him. Sitting on his lap in the car, the only reason I stopped crying was because I believed him when he told me everything would be okay. I want to believe in him. I want to lean on him and let him lean on me.”
“Wow. You really like this guy.”
“I do.”
“Let me guess, you self-sabotaged because you got scared?”
“Maybe…” I sighed. “I had too much to drink and came on to him that night. He turned me down, which I actually appreciated the next morning. But when I was thinking about it all, I realized that even sober, I wanted to be with him. So over breakfast, I proposed a no-strings-attached fling.”
“Why would you do that if you’re into—” She stopped short. “Oh, because you’re scared.”
Scared. I hated that word. I associated it with weakness, with people who froze. The kind that let life happen to them instead of taking it by the throat. But deep down, I knew she was right.
“How did he respond to your proposal?” she asked.
“I think I offended him. He told me he wanted more from me.”
“Then what happened?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “We drove home for hours in uncomfortable silence. That was four days ago. I haven’t heard from him since, and I’ve been avoiding going left out of the driveway so I don’t have to pass his house.”
“Oh, honey,” she said in that soft, sympathetic tone. “It sounds like you really like him?”
“I do. I can’t remember the last time I felt this way about a guy.” I hesitated, then admitted quietly, “Maybe never.”