Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 92547 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 463(@200wpm)___ 370(@250wpm)___ 308(@300wpm)
“Long day?” He smiled.
“You have no idea,” I said, taking a sip.
“Pretty sure I had the same kind of day you did.” He leaned his back into the couch. “How serious were you with that guy?”
“I’ve mostly focused on my job the past few years. I’ve dated, but Scott was my first attempt at an actual relationship in that time. We were only together five months.”
“Did you live with him?”
“No. He’d asked me to move in, but I didn’t want to. I think I always kept one foot out of the relationship. More than anything, it was just a feeling that he wasn’t the one. Sometimes you can’t put your finger on why something isn’t working.”
“I understand. It needs to feel right to take that extra step.”
“Things didn’t feel right with Naomi, either?”
Evan shrugged. “It was convenient. She lives nearby when she’s not traveling for work. She’s nice enough, but yeah, something was missing. And to give someone a true, long-term commitment, there has to be no doubt for me. It doesn’t make sense to waste someone’s time. You were definitely the catalyst for pushing the inevitable along, though.”
“You’re welcome?” I smiled goofily.
He placed his arm along the back of the couch. “Why did you really come back here today? Was the new house that bad?”
After a few seconds, I answered truthfully. “It wasn’t great, but I could’ve endured it. But this is the only place that feels like home right now.”
“Wow,” he muttered. “Okay.”
“Admitting that scares me a little.”
“I like having you here, too. And that scares me. Because I know it’s temporary.”
“What if it weren’t? How would that change things?”
“What good is even thinking about that?” Evan held my gaze, but he stayed silent, refusing to answer my question.
“It’s just a fantasy and a hypothetical, I guess.”
He looked over the rim of his glass. “What’s the point of entertaining a fantasy?”
His question made me think of my lingering curiosity over what Effie had confessed to me the first night I was here. Seemed the wine was already hitting me because I garnered the courage to bring it up. “Speaking of fantasies… What do you dream about when you call my name?” I blurted.
His eyes widened. “What?”
“The first night I was here, Effie asked me if I was the same Chloe you’ve called to in your dreams.” I inhaled sharply, nervous for his answer.
“Shit.” He scrubbed a hand over his face. “I honestly don’t know. That’s the truth. I don’t remember the dreams. But it can’t be a coincidence. They have to be about you.”
“Wow, you really don’t remember?”
“Not in the least.” His expression was sincere.
“Why do you think you dream of me?”
“If I had to guess?” He took a deep breath in. “Because a long time ago, Chloe, you meant everything to me. And you seemed to assume the opposite. I led you to believe that. And I’ve lived with that guilt for a long time.” He took a long sip of his wine. “You think I wanted you to leave for Northwestern? You were my comfort, my best friend… But I knew if I crossed the line, you never would’ve chased your dreams. I couldn’t have lived with that. I’d gotten to travel overseas, to see a bit of the world. And you hadn’t left Dry River once. I never wanted you to look at me and see someone who held you back or dragged you down.”
My dreams? The strongest dream I’d ever had was to make love to this man once before I died. He clearly didn’t understand how much he’d meant to me.
I chose my words carefully. “I understand now why you pushed me away back then, even if the memory of it still stings. Obviously, I never had the courage to reach out and tell you I understood, and that I didn’t hold any resentment toward you. I’m sorry for that. You shouldn’t have had to wonder whether I was still holding a grudge.”
His gaze settled on mine. “I’m proud of you, Chloe…if I haven’t said that already. And I’m grateful for this chance to reconnect, even if it’s temporary.”
He kept using the word temporary while refusing to acknowledge my question from earlier about whether anything would be different if I lived here. Perhaps he didn’t want to hurt me by admitting that it wouldn’t change things.
“I’m proud of you, too,” I told him. “You’re an incredible father. Effie is lucky to have you.”
“I’m happy you’re getting to know her. She was really down after you left for the other rental.” He licked the corner of his mouth. “But I don’t want Effie to get her expectations up. Because once you’re gone…”
“I know. You don’t have to say it. I’ve thought a lot about that.” Self-protective mode set in as I attempted to define our relationship. “But there’s a difference between a woman you’re dating or going to marry, and a friend. I’m a friend, right? I can frame my relationship with Effie that way, make sure she understands that as a friend, I’ll always be there for you and her. I may not always be right here, but she doesn’t need to worry about me exiting her life.”