Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“You didn’t want to ruin her life, and yet you did. You’re pretty good at that.”
I closed my eyes. Man, that fucking hurt. But it’s okay. He needs to let out his anger. I can take it.
As horrible as this was, it was also a huge relief. Because the alternative—keeping him in the dark—had been horrible, too, and now I no longer had to keep this enormous secret. No longer had to love Nicholas in secret.
I sighed. “I don’t blame you for thinking the worst of me. But over time, you’ll see this situation is not what you think. I love her, Taylor. And she loves me. I know it’s a shock to hear that, but it’s the truth. Blair and I never got over each other. And now that I know about Nicholas, all I want to do is be the kind of dad I know I wasn’t for you. I will never forgive myself for not fighting harder to be a better dad when you were little. But I still have a chance to do right by him.”
He shook his head. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
“Of course.” I looked straight into his eyes. “You need to know that. We just didn’t want to drop that bomb on your wedding or honeymoon. Blair and I have been debating the best time to talk to you. We planned on telling you in a couple of weeks, after your birthday. You can ask Blair. We had just decided that before this happened. I never wanted you to find out like this.”
Taylor stared off across the parking lot for a long while before he finally turned to me and muttered, “How is Nicholas? He seemed okay...”
I nodded. “He’s gonna be fine. They’re keeping him overnight for monitoring. How did you find out about the accident?”
“One of the EMTs is a buddy of mine. He recognized Blair, even though he’d only met her a couple of times. She probably didn’t remember him. But he called me.” Taylor laughed angrily. “You wanna know the insane thing? I told the hospital I was his father, so they would let me see him. I worried uncle wouldn’t fly. What kind of sick irony is that?”
My chest constricted. “I’m so sorry, Taylor.”
“I need to leave.” He rubbed his temples. “I can’t do this right now.”
“Please don’t get in that car if you’re upset.” The thought of him getting into an accident terrified me.
“I have to. I can’t be here anymore.”
Taylor walked to his car as I followed him in silence. He opened the door and slammed it shut before starting the engine. I took a few steps back but stood in the same spot as he sped away.
It felt like I’d lost a part of my soul as I walked back into the hospital and to the pediatric ICU.
Blair’s eyes were filled with fear as I reappeared. She searched my face. “He knows?”
My lip trembled as I nodded.
She closed her eyes.
She didn’t have to ask how it had gone.
All it took was one look at my face.
Chapter 35
* * *
BLAIR
A week after the accident, things had almost returned to normal, at least for Nicholas.
As for everything else? Well, it was as bad as we’d imagined.
Taylor refused to talk to me when I’d called him the day after the hospital encounter. He’d answered the phone, but said he wasn’t ready yet to have what he understood was a necessary conversation. He apologized for not being stronger and asked me to tell Tate not to call him, either. He said he’d reach out to us when he was ready to talk.
So, we had no choice but to give him time and hope he’d eventually be ready to discuss and accept the situation.
Tate said he’d initially felt relief that Taylor knew, but with each day that passed when Taylor didn’t call, he fell deeper into sadness. Case in point, after Nicholas went to sleep this evening, I found Tate sitting on the couch, looking at baby photos of Taylor on his phone. Tate had been sleeping over almost every night.
“Hey,” I said, taking a seat next to him. “I was wondering where you went.”
“Hey, beautiful…” He looked up briefly, then returned his gaze to the images of Taylor. “I’ve been trying for so long to get him to love me. But I think the best I can hope for is that he doesn’t hate me. It’s amazing what you’ll settle for when you’re desperate.” Tate put his phone aside. “Do you think I should try to call him?”
It pained me, but I shook my head. “He made it clear that he wants time. I think we should give him what he’s asked for and not push it.”
Tate sighed. “Okay. Yeah. You’re right.” He shook his head. “I don’t know what I was thinking.”