Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“I wish we could be together without having to hurt anyone,” I said.
“Me, too, sweetheart. Believe me. But I’m done denying how I feel about you, which has nothing to do with you being Nicholas’s mother. This is about you and me—the connection we have that never died. It’s been there all along, even before we found each other again.”
“That’s exactly how I feel.”
My phone chimed, interrupting our moment.
I reached for it on the nightstand, and my stomach dropped. “It’s Taylor,” I whispered.
Tate’s expression grew dark, the light in his eyes fading.
I looked down at it.
Taylor: How did the date with Adam go?
“Shit,” I muttered.
“What does it say?” he asked.
I faced the screen toward him.
“Well, that’s a slap in the face from reality.” Tate exhaled.
I put the phone aside.
“You’re not going to write him back?” he asked.
“Not right away.” I shook my head. “I hate lying.”
“What are you going to tell him?”
“I guess I’m just gonna say I’m not feeling it for Adam the way I should.”
He nodded, and I could tell his mind had gone to a guilty place.
I sighed. “I certainly won’t be telling Taylor I can’t like Adam because I can’t get over his father, no matter how hard I try.”
“I don’t want you to get over me.”
“Is this the part where you tell me you want me under you, not over you?” I teased.
“Well, that too.” He groaned. “Nothing felt worse than when you went out tonight, and I thought there was a chance you could fall for someone else.” He pressed his forehead to mine.
“That was never gonna happen.” We stared into each other’s eyes. “God, I love looking at you. You’re freaking perfect, Tate.”
He ran his fingers through my hair. “I love the way you look at me. I love knowing how much you want me. I love everything about you, Blair.”
He stopped short of saying he loved me, but it was pretty damn close.
“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” I asked.
“We spend the day with our little boy, and we figure out the rest some other time.” Tate reached for his phone. “I want to show you something.”
“Okay…”
“I wasn’t going to show this to you. But after tonight, I want you to read it.”
“What is it?”
“You know how you left me that letter back at the resort…”
I nodded. “Of course.”
“Well, I’ve always regretted not writing you something that day, too. I couldn’t gather my thoughts fast enough to do it before you left, but I did eventually write you back.”
My heart fluttered. “You did?”
His mouth curved into a smile. “I wrote an email to myself, just to get the thoughts out. I would’ve written on paper, but my penmanship sucks. Nicholas probably has better handwriting than I do.” He scrolled through his email. “Anyway, would you want to read it?”
The butterflies in my belly came alive. “Of course.”
He handed me his phone.
Dear Blair,
I don’t know if this message will ever reach you. But I still feel the need to write it.
It’s been one year since I’ve seen your beautiful face in person. One year since I’ve gotten lost inside of you. And one year since you walked out of the resort with my heart.
We had less than a handful of days together, but each and every one of them meant more to me than all of the other days of my life combined.
Every day for a year, I’ve hoped I might hear from you.
I have to believe you have a damn good reason for not contacting me. As each day passes, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may never see or hear from you again.
Though you’re not around physically, I want you to know that I have felt you. I’ve felt you when I’ve looked up at the moon, I’ve felt you on a gentle breeze or a hint of a stranger’s blonde hair. Most of all, I’ve felt you in my dreams, where you make appearances often.
When we left each other, I didn’t have the bandwidth to string words together in a meaningful way. I chose to spend each and every waking moment with you instead. Now I have the benefit of hindsight and lots more time to articulate things, and yet, I still struggle to put into words the way you made me feel. Except to say this: You taught me how to love in a way I didn’t understand before.
While I still long for you every day, you’ve left me a better man, even in your absence. I just wish I could’ve told you how much you meant to me before we went our separate ways.
All this to say, I love you, too, Blair. So much. And I will never forget you.
Love always,
Tate
My eyes watered. “This is beautiful.” I looked at the date that he’d emailed this to himself. It was indeed a year after we’d left each other. I’d made the right decision in following my gut and coming back here tonight.