Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89324 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“And, of course, he doesn’t know you as Tate.” She shook her head. “I didn’t even know that nickname until you told me about it.” She tilted her head. “What’s wrong with Teddy, anyway?”
“Nothing’s wrong with Teddy. I just never liked Theodore. You know that. And one of my buddies started calling me Tate when I was in the service.” I shrugged. “It stuck.”
“Oh my.” She placed her hand on her heart as she looked down at the photo of Nicholas. “My heart hurts for Taylor.” Mom frowned. “I’m sorry. The reality of this is just coming in waves.”
“I know.” I sighed. “Believe me, I know.”
She took my hand. “My heart hurts for you, too.”
“Because of Taylor?”
“Not just that. You have yourself convinced that the mother of your son is better off without you. But I can see in your eyes that you still have feelings for this girl.”
“You can?”
She nodded. “You’re my son, Teddy. I know you. I remember when you were younger, the way your ears would turn red when you were excited about something. The same thing happens when you talk about Blair.”
If anyone could see through me, it was my mother. Gulping, I said, “It doesn’t matter how I feel about her anymore.”
“Of course it matters,” she countered.
I hung my head. “Taylor’s been trying to set her up with one of his friends.”
“Well, you need to stop that.”
“I encouraged it, actually.” I gritted my teeth, pissed at myself.
“Why?”
“Because no matter how much I want her, I can’t have her if it means hurting my son. She should also be with someone her own age. Don’t you think?” I shook my head and laughed. “Her parents are my age.”
Mom gave me a look. “I think it’s a little too late to be worrying about that. She should be with the person she wants to be with, regardless of age or anything else. There’s something to be said for making things work with the father of your child.”
“That would make sense under most other circumstances. But Blair needs to experience more before settling down. I want to help take care of Nicholas so she can get some of her life back. And neither one of us wants to hurt Taylor.”
My mother sighed. “I know things are still raw between you and him, but Taylor is a grown man who’s married. This is going to shock him, yes. It’s going to hurt him, too. And it may destroy the progress you and he have made. But he will get over it someday, and when he does, you’ll be happy you didn’t let her get away.”
She was really fucking with my emotions right now, pointing out things I had tried to deny and bury. Was it worth uncovering them?
“I wish I could believe that, Mom. I really do. But how many years now has Taylor held my past mistakes against me? I don’t think he’ll be too excited about having more to forgive. Have you met my son?”
“I have, and I understand why you might think that. But you have another son to think about now, too.”
“Nicholas will always have me in his life. That’s a given.”
She nodded. “When can I meet him?”
“Soon, hopefully. I’m actually watching him this weekend. But probably not then because he’s still getting used to me and doesn’t know who I am yet. I don’t want to overwhelm him.”
“How are you managing to watch him?”
“Blair’s gonna drop him off at the house I’m renting in Western Mass.” I paused. “She’s going on a date with the guy Taylor set her up with, and I’m babysitting.”
My mother grimaced. “That can’t be easy for you.”
“It’s not easy for me. Right now, though, I want to make life easier for her. I owe her that. And if she wants to date this guy, I don’t have a right to stop her.”
She smiled sadly. “This secret is going to be really difficult to keep from your father. But I won’t say anything until you give me the go ahead.”
“Well, thank you in advance for your discretion because the fewer people who know, the better. At least until Taylor finds out.”
“When do you plan to tell him?”
“We’re giving it a few months. Taylor’s adjusting to married life, and his job is stressing him out. Plus, he and I are just getting to a point where things have felt stable. It’s not the right time to rock the boat.”
“It’s never going to be easy, Teddy. You might be better addressing it sooner rather than later.”
A part of me did wonder if my delay was simply procrastination. “I hear you. But Blair has to be ready, too. We both decided to give it a little time.”
“Fair enough.” She exhaled. “Thank you for confiding in me.”
“Thank you for listening and not judging. I appreciate your perspective.”