Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 98524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
I walked down the hallway and opened the door to walk out. The sun had fallen beneath the horizon, but there were still streaks of orange lingering in the sky. The backyard was clear, minus a few streamers and runaway confetti.
Javier heard me coming and lifted his head, eyes glistening like he was on the verge of tears. My chest felt tight and heavy, seeing him this way. I almost paused and thought to go back into the house, or even to the guesthouse, for that matter, just to give him some space, but it seemed too late now. It would have been not only rude to duck off, but awkward too.
He sat up and cleared his throat, blinking several times to dry his eyes. “Aleesa go down okay?” he asked.
“Yep. She’s good,” I answered. “Went out like a light.”
His lips tilted upward on one side, a weak attempt at a smile. Silence ticked by for about five seconds before he said, “I know they are talking about me.”
I blinked at him before turning my attention to the house. From here, I could see Paola folding blankets in the living room and Catalina storing things away in the kitchen. Both of their mouths were still moving, and Paola seemed worked up as she snatched up another blanket and folded it. She was probably speaking fully in Spanish now.
“I think so, yeah.”
“Every year,” he sighed.
I kept quiet as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the tops of his legs and threading his fingers together. Walking closer to him, I grabbed one of the chairs from the table and brought it near him, but not too close, in case he still needed some space.
“I know everyone is always asking about Aleesa,” I said in a quiet voice, “but what about you? Are you okay?”
He pursed his lips, still staring at the rippling water. “I am not sure how to answer that.”
“What’s the first word that comes to mind?”
“No.”
“No, you’re not okay?”
“No. I am not okay.”
“Okay. That’s okay.”
“Great. Now can we please stop saying the word okay?”
“Well, you said it this time, so . . .” I raised my hands and shrugged.
He shook his head, but I didn’t miss the faint smirk riding his lips. At least that one was closer to a real smile.
“Hey, um . . . thank you for everything you did to make today happen,” he said. “Everyone had a great time, and I cannot remember the last time I saw Aleesa so happy.”
It was stupid of me to blush, but I did as I adjusted myself in my chair. “Of course. It was no hassle at all.”
“I’m sure it was a bit of a hassle,” he said, calling my bluff.
“Okay, fine. Sort of, but only because finding a pretend mermaid to be in that tank for two hours was near impossible.”
He chuckled, teeth glinting in the light.
“But it’s fine,” I said. “I love planning parties and would do it again in a heartbeat.”
He nodded appreciatively. Then his smile slipped away, and he sighed again.
“Listen . . .” I leaned forward, finding his eyes. “I know I’m just the nanny, but if you ever need to talk about anything, I’m happy to listen.”
His head turned so his deep-brown eyes could connect with mine. “I appreciate that, Octavia. There is not much to talk about, though.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“No?”
“No. You lost a spouse. And I don’t want to cross lines or anything, but I know you lost her around this time of the year. It’s not only Aleesa’s birthday but the anniversary of your wife’s passing too.”
His head turned left, then right in defeat. “I hate that they call it an anniversary. Like a person’s death is something that should be celebrated. Life should be celebrated. Not death.”
“Well, you technically did celebrate a life today.”
He contemplated that, lips twisting. “A life for a life, it seems,” he muttered.
Silence greeted us again.
“Your mom seems really worried about you.”
He made a noise between a scoff and a snort. “She always is.”
I paused before saying “I’m worried about you, Javier.”
“You should not worry about me, Octavia. I will be fine.”
“I used to tell myself the same thing until one day I woke up crying hysterically from a bad dream and didn’t stop crying the whole day. It’s like it all hit me at once.”
“Your father?”
I nodded. “Nothing could console me. I lost him and had to finally accept that he wasn’t coming back. That day I just let it all out.”
“I see.”
I studied his profile, his sharp jaw and full lips. “Can I ask you something?”
He seemed to hesitate. “Sure.”
“Why don’t you ever talk about her?”
I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he allowed the question to marinate. His eyes lowered to his lap. “It is . . . complicated.”
Oh. That wasn’t what I expected to hear.