Total pages in book: 19
Estimated words: 18478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 92(@200wpm)___ 74(@250wpm)___ 62(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 18478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 92(@200wpm)___ 74(@250wpm)___ 62(@300wpm)
“I know you hate me right now,” Momma says. “But I’m only trying to save you.”
The air in the room feels heavy, like black thunder clouds crushing down on me. The sound of the doorknob turning causes my body to jump, but I can’t even look up as she exits the room. I’m too ashamed.
Once I’m sure she’s gone, I crawl into the bathroom and start to undress. Maybe a bath now would help me calm down. I start the water and close my eyes.
I tried to pray before and failed. But the stakes are higher now, so I try again.
“Oh God, please give me the strength to…to overcome…”
Yet again, my voice falters as thoughts and images of Amon fill my mind. With my eyes closed, I can feel his touch. I can hear his voice.
And that’s not all…
Memories of my recent sins flood through me. The saddle, the way it hummed beneath me…
…Amon calling me a good girl…
…me calling him Daddy…
I reach for my cross and realize I’m not wearing it. Somehow, I must have forgotten to put it on when I came downstairs.
The realization hits me hard; this isn’t just something I can unfeel. Try as I might, I’ll never be able to go back to the girl I was before Amon.
No. I always was that girl. It just took Amon’s instruction for me to fully realize it.
“You’re a sinner.” Those were his first words to me. He saw exactly who I am, and he encouraged it. No—he awakened me.
The sound of raised voices jolts me out of my thoughts, and I quickly race to the door, cracking it open.
Mom is shouting at Amon like she wants to kill him.
This is all my fault. If only I’d been more careful. If I hadn’t let Momma boss me around, Amon wouldn’t be taking the heat for me right now. I have to do something.
With my heart still thrashing against my ribs, I make my way downstairs, focusing on keeping my breaths slow and deep.
“You are sick!” Mom is shouting. “You think because you’re older and have money you can corrupt my daughter?!”
“Can we take it easy, please?” I hear John ask. “Let’s all just calm down—”
“No, John, I won’t calm down. This is an abuse of power. He’s ten years older than her, for God’s sake! Are you okay with this?”
I stop at the top of the stairs and look down. Momma is going crazy, storming around the marble floor, waving her hands in the air, while Amon leans against the wall and John stands facing her with his arms crossed.
“No, Alicia, I am not okay with this,” John replies. “But can we take it down a little?”
“Take it down? Who knows what else these two have been up to while we’ve been away!”
“They’re going to stop,” John says, turning to Amon. “Aren’t they?”
It’s then that Amon notices me and smiles. His eyes carry such strength, such warmth.
“Joan’s not going anywhere,” he says, directly to Momma. Even from where I’m standing, I can see her jaw drop and her face tighten.
“What did you just say?”
“You don’t get to decide who she is anymore,” he replies. He looks up at me again, and this time, Momma follows his eyes. She whirls, and when she sees me, her face turns to stone.
“Either she leaves tonight,” she says slowly, addressing the men while staring me down. “Or I’ll expose you both.”
John steps in. “Whoa, we don’t need to take it that far—”
“Everyone you know, John,” she snaps. “I’ll tell them all that your son seduced my daughter! How do you think that will be for your business?”
Things are seriously out of hand. Momma’s about to put all this on John and Amon and send me back to the convent. I know Amon will do whatever it takes to stop that from happening, but I can’t sit back and do nothing. Not anymore.
“No you won’t.” The words spill defiantly from my mouth. My heart is still pounding as I look down at Momma, but I’m no longer panicked. Amon’s eyes meet mine, and I see the love there. The promise.
“I won’t?” she replies with a snort. Summoning all my courage, I descend the stairs. Don’t be afraid. You can do this.
I walk right past Momma, who looks like she’s about to explode, and over to Amon. With all the purpose in the world, I slide under his arm, a wave of comfort capturing me instantly.
“I’m staying with Amon, Momma. We didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t do anything wrong.”
Amon squeezes me, and my chest fills, like my heart is growing, fueled by the bond between us.
Momma stares at me. She must think I’ve lost my mind. This is the first time I’ve ever truly stood up to her. Mouth agape, she looks over at John, who merely shakes his head.