Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63842 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 319(@200wpm)___ 255(@250wpm)___ 213(@300wpm)
“You don’t have to stay,” I said, my voice sandpaper rough. I took another gulp of water. My hands still trembled, and I felt like absolute shit.
Rip’s gaze shifted to meet mine. “I know.”
Silence settled between us again, but it wasn’t the tense silence I’d grown accustomed to with Eric -- the kind that had me constantly guessing what I’d done wrong. This was different. Peaceful, almost.
“My brother had nightmares,” Rip said quietly, his deep voice somehow soothing in the quiet garden. “Every night for weeks. Wouldn’t tell me why.”
I pulled the blanket tight around my shoulders. I recognized he offered a piece of himself in exchange for witnessing my breakdown. And I knew whatever he told me would equal the weight of the abuse I carried inside my soul.
Rip’s hands rested on his knees, scarred knuckles facing upward. “Our mom worked nights. Stepdad was supposed to look after us. I found my brother crying in the shower one morning.” Rip’s jaw tightened, a muscle jumping beneath the stubble. “He finally told me what our stepdad was doing to him. What he’d been doing for months. I confronted our stepdad. I don’t recall much after that.”
A terrible understanding bloomed in my chest. This was why Rip was here, at Haven. Why he understood the women and children who came through these doors in a way that went beyond sympathy.
I reached across the space between us and placed my hand over his scarred one. “If a person had to go to prison for killing someone,” I said softly, “it should be for someone worth the sacrifice. Sounds like the guy had it coming in a big way.”
Rip’s eyes met mine, surprise flickering briefly before he nodded once. “My brother’s a good man now. Was a good kid, but he fought and clawed his way through the foster system and managed to get all kinds of scholarships for college.” His lips lifted in a half grin. “He’s a lawyer, if you can believe it. Managed to get me out on parole sooner than I should have.”
“I take it you guys are close?”
Rip lifted one shoulder. “I guess. I try to stay away from him so he doesn’t have to explain his felon brother to any of his colleagues. He gets mad when I don’t call and visits me here. Often. But I don’t want to taint him with my filth.”
“Does he judge you for what you did?” The thought made me want to hunt down his brother and beat some sense into him.
Rip snorted. “If only. He’s made a friend of Griffin and the two of them plot how to overthrow the world. Ethan’s been working with Lana Thompson. You remember her?”
“Yes. The lady who brought me here.”
Rip nodded. “He helps her with legal shit.” He waved his hand slightly. “I don’t get it all. I’m just proud of my little brother.”
I swallowed and looked off in the distance. “Eric controlled everything,” I whispered, the words rushing out before I could stop them. “What I wore. Who I spoke to. When and what I ate.” I twisted my fingers in the blanket. “He isolated me so gradually I barely noticed until I had no one left except him and Mia.
“After a particularly bad… incident,” I couldn’t bring myself to call it a beating, though that’s what it was, “I tried to leave. I packed a bag while he was at work. I was halfway out the door when my phone buzzed.”
I closed my eyes, seeing the images that had appeared on my screen that day. Images that still haunted my nightmares. “They were photos. Of me.” My voice dropped to barely above a whisper. “At a party he’d taken me to months earlier. I’d gotten drunk and passed out. The photos showed… showed men I didn’t know. With me. You couldn’t tell from the photos, but I was unconscious. I only have vague flashes of memory from that night, but I’ve never been blackout drunk before and I don’t think I was then.”
“You think they drugged you?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe.” I sounded as dead as I felt inside. Every time I tried to go back and remember exactly what had been done to me, all I felt was anxiety and fear. “He told me if I didn’t do what he told me, he’d make sure I’d be conscious the next time.” The words felt like glass in my throat. “And what happened to me at that party would be nothing compared to the pounding I’d take.”
I couldn’t look at Rip as I continued. “That’s when he started using me to get to Mia. He wanted her. Probably because she’s young, but she’s damned good at what she does. She had connections in the community. Connections she probably didn’t even realize.” I looked off, a sad smile tugging at my lips. “Mia is so selfless, she wouldn’t notice how much pull she had in the school and outside of it. But Eric noticed. I was white trash but a good fuck, he said. By the time I took a good look around me and realized how bad I had it, I’d basically stopped making decisions. When I tried, I was paralyzed by indecision.” I shuddered, the memories so painful I just wanted to forget. “It was all a mind fuck. I don’t know what end game he had in mind. Not even sure he knew. But he wanted both of us under his thumb. Mia managed to keep her own personality and free will.” I looked away again. “I surrendered mine before I realized there was a battle.”