Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 76953 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 76953 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
“So… what now?” she asked, her fingers toying with the neckline of my shirt, a little self-soothing gesture that made me wish I could give her the answers she wanted.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I know that if this is making you cry, then we gotta figure out how to stop that.”
“Are you… are you saying you’re done?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying. All I know is knowing you’re upset is gutting me. So I can’t imagine it’s any better for you. I guess the question I have is… is this too much?”
“I don’t know.”
“Quite a fucking pair,” I said with a humorless laugh. “Neither of us knows shit.”
A little laugh escaped her too.
“I don’t want to stop,” she admitted after a long moment.
“Even though you’re upset about it?”
“Even though.”
“But what if it gets worse?”
“Then it gets worse.”
“That’s not—”
It was her turn to cut me off.
“Have you ever done something for the thrill of it, even though you knew it might not end well?”
“Pretty much sums up a lot of my life when I was younger.”
“I… I really haven’t done much of that. I’ve always been really careful. I always weigh the good and the bad. I tend to overthink until the opportunity has disappeared, making the decision for me. I’m always scared about the ‘what ifs’ about things. And I just… I think I’ve missed out on a lot because I’m scared of things going badly. I don’t want to do that here.”
“I get that. Problem is, you’re upset about it while in it too.”
“Because I’m thinking about the what-ifs. Maybe I can stop doing that. Just enjoy it until… until I can’t anymore.”
“Okay,” I agreed.
“Okay?”
“Okay. But I think we need a safe word.”
“A safe word? For like…”
“No. I mean, hey, if that’s your kink, we can play. But no. I meant… if at some point you decide you want out, we need an easy way for you to tell me that.”
“I don’t want out.”
“In case you do.”
“Fine. What’s the word?”
“Apricot.”
“Apricot? Why apricot?”
“Because it’s weird enough for you not to say it by mistake, but common enough that you won’t sound like a lunatic if someone else hears it out of context.”
“Okay. Apricot. Got it.”
“Say it, write it, whatever, and I’ll back off, leave you alone.”
She nodded.
“I don’t want to be left alone right now.”
“Good. ‘Cause I don’t plan on leaving yet.”
“Can I ask if there’s been any progress on everything?”
“Junior thinks he’s zeroing in. The guys have been trying to round up some of my old crew, see if they’re still with Cameron. If they are, they will lean and we will get a meet-up.”
“I know I should be happy since everyone’s lives are disrupted.”
“I’ve been enjoying this too, baby. So until then, no more avoiding me?”
“Nope,” she agreed. “In fact, I might need to go to the kitchen late tonight for a bottle of water… then just get turned around.”
“Maybe around one.”
“Why one?”
“They will be changing shifts at around midnight. Gives everyone a chance to do a solid round before they start getting bored and not so diligent. But not before they get hungry or need more coffee.”
“You’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“Wanna get as much time alone with you as I can while I can.”
“How alone do you think we are right now?” she asked, shifting her body until she was straddling me.
Voss saw me come down the stairs and would assume I was staking a claim on the glass room for a few hours. No one was coming for a bit.
“Alone enough.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Gracie
“Don’t fucking like this,” I heard Perish grumble as Dezi, Sully, Cain, and Uncle Pagan waited for me to join them.
“It’s the right crew,” Fallon said. “Two crazy fucks,” he went on, meaning Dezi and Uncle Pagan, “ex-SWAT and ex-military.” Cain and Sully. “And Cian’s whole crew will be around too.”
“Send more,” Perish demanded.
“Perish, he’s one fucking guy. Now that they know there’s a threat to look out for, they will be diligent. We can’t stretch any thinner. Most of the OGs are doing guard work for all the moms and dads to do the fucking parent-teacher conferences. Everyone else will be here or picking up some of your old crew members.”
“I can go.”
“And lead the bastard right to her? Fuck no. We’re sneaking her out in the backseat. No one is even going to know she’s left the clubhouse. It’s all settled.”
Fallon used his ‘and don’t ask me again’ dad voice on Perish. I could see from the look in his eye that he wanted to argue, but he knew he couldn’t. Fallon was a pretty lax president, but he wasn’t going to stand for blatant disrespect.
I tried to give him a reassuring smile even as my own belly flipped.
I was surprisingly nervous about leaving the clubhouse. Even though I did genuinely trust the club guys.