Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 33104 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 132(@250wpm)___ 110(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33104 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 132(@250wpm)___ 110(@300wpm)
“You’re doing well, sweetie. I’m going to add a second finger. Take a deep breath and blow it out.”
I can’t begin to follow that instruction. I try, but breathing isn’t on the list of things my brain is able to communicate right now. His finger is still inside me.
Daddy rubs my back. “Deep breath, baby girl,” he commands.
I respond to his voice immediately, drawing in oxygen as if his voice alone is enough to control my movements.
When the doctor adds a second finger and slowly eases them inside my bottom, I start panting. It’s tight. “Good girl,” he says. He scissors them a bit before removing them. He pats my bottom with his other hand. “You can roll back over and relax now.”
I’m shaking as Daddy helps me onto my back.
“Everything looks good. I’ll write a few suggestions down for you and you can order them. Start with the smallest a few hours a day and gradually work your way up. You’ll know when she’s ready to take the next size.”
Daddy nods. “Thank you.”
“What was your other concern?” Dr. Morgan asks.
I’m quite certain I don’t want to hear it.
“Melody has developed an intense need to be restrained. She wasn’t like this before we came to the island. Now she can’t sleep unless I restrain her, and she starts to panic when we leave the house unless she is fully harnessed, and I have a firm grip on her leash.”
“Hmm.” Dr. Morgan frowns, thinking.
Daddy continues. “Some of it is a mental block. For example, I understand her desire to be strapped to the changing table so she feels like wetting herself is totally out of her control. Same with sleeping. She knows she can’t touch herself or try to remove her diaper if I strap her hands to the railing. It’s calming, again because I’ve taken away her options so she can’t masturbate without permission.”
I close my eyes and purse my lips. I’m so embarrassed.
Daddy senses my unease because he takes my hand and squeezes it, reassuring me.
“You’re right about those instances. They’re perfectly normal. She’s not the only Little who needs encouragement to wet herself or restraint so she can’t play with her nipples or take off her diaper. Half the Littles on the island have those issues. It’s the other I’m concerned about. That feels different. When did you first notice her panicking in public?”
“We got separated at the zoo, and when I found her, she was nearly having an anxiety attack. That was the first time I introduced the harness.”
He nods, rubbing his chin. While he thinks, he lifts my bottom and puts a clean diaper on me. Afterward, he helps me sit and meets my gaze. “Did you ever get separated from your parents when you were young, Melody?”
I hesitate, furrowing my brow so I can think. And then I start to shake as a memory rushes to the front of my mind. “Yes,” I whisper.
“Can you tell me about it?” Dr. Morgan asks gently, patting my thigh.
I close my eyes and recall the day. I lick my lips and tell the story I didn’t even consciously remember until now. “I was with my dad at the planetarium. I wandered away to see something and got caught up in a demonstration. When I turned around, my dad was nowhere to be found.”
“Oh, baby,” Daddy murmurs, wrapping an arm around me.
“What happened next, sweetie?” the doctor asks.
“I was crying, and an employee found me and called for my dad on the intercom. A few minutes later, he found me. I was so scared.”
Dr. Morgan smiles at me when I look up at him before I shift my gaze to Daddy.
Dr. Morgan speaks. “I think what happened is as you slid into a regressed state, it triggered the incident from your childhood. I bet you were pretty young.”
I nod. “Four I think.”
The doctor turns to Daddy. “I’m not surprised. I’ve heard similar things from Littles. Memories buried from their childhood that get triggered when they regress. She sees you as the authority figure who should keep her safe, so she starts to panic when she gets in a situation where you might not be able to.”
Daddy hugs me closer. “I would never let anything happen to you, baby girl.” He kisses the top of my head.
“The best thing to do is keep doing what you are now. Use the harness every time it’s possible. Strollers are good too, but don’t wander away from the stroller if she’s in it. Stay in her line of sight at all times. Hold the leash closer when she’s harnessed. Gradually give her more distance as time goes by. It will take a while. Could be a long time, but she’ll slowly learn you’re not going to lose her.”
I start trembling, clasping Daddy’s hand tighter. “I don’t want him to walk away from me. I panic when he does.”