Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
And when she’d died suddenly of anaphylactic shock while on a yacht in the Caribbean, as twelve-year-old Robbie had looked on in horror, I’d known I would keep her promise forever. Not just because of her, but because of him.
Robbie.
The sweetest soul I’d ever met. The kind of boy who’d cried fat tears at age six when his father had told him pets were too messy, who’d beamed proudly at age eight when he’d introduced his father at a Viewer’s Choice award banquet, who’d screamed himself hoarse at age twelve when he’d begged his mother to just breathe, who’d convinced his father to sponsor his friend Emil’s father’s work visa so they could stay in this country long enough for Emil to finish high school, and who selflessly and happily wrangled a too-large class of fourth graders every day because he truly believed in the power of educating young minds.
I sat up and rubbed my face with my hands.
Robbie, who’d confessed to wanting me to fuck him, back when he was twenty-two.
And who’d planted a mental image in my head like a goddamn brain worm that refused to die. I’d spent the past ten years working as hard as possible to eradicate the sudden and all-consuming obsession that had started that night in my office.
It was an inferno with seemingly unending fuel.
I forced myself to stop thinking of Robbie and focus on work. Twenty minutes later, my phone vibrated as if my strong thoughts of the kid had summoned him.
The familiar nickname on my screen made me smile. I’d changed his name to Magpie in my phone a million years ago. I loved watching the combination of anticipation and excitement on his face whenever I handed him some tiny trinket and the way his eyes would grow wide with wonder no matter what silly little “treasure” I’d brought him.
Magpie
Heading to the beach house tomorrow. Let me know if it’s not okay.
I let out a breath. I should have known this was coming. When Robbie was sad, Rabbit Island was his refuge.
It’s fine. You know you’re welcome there anytime, even if I was there with people. Are you okay?
Of course, I already knew the answer. He wasn’t okay. He’d just discovered the man he was dating wasn’t who Robbie thought he was.
My secret background check on the guy had come back with one glaring piece of relevant information. Since Robbie was way too trusting, I’d had to find a way to let him find it out for himself. If I’d contacted him to tell him he was dating an asshole cheater, he would have associated the betrayal with me.
I would have also had to explain why I even knew who he’d been seeing, much less how I’d learned anything private about the man.
Magpie
Why are you asking that?
You go to the house when you’re upset.
I waited for him to argue with me. And when he didn’t, a frisson of unease went down my spine.
Magpie
Damien was married.
The words didn’t surprise me.
I’m sorry, sweetheart. He doesn’t deserve you.
As soon as the text was sent, I winced. Over the past ten years, I’d tried to stop the endearments. Tried to avoid doing anything that would either infantilize him or lead him on. But it was impossible to stop the emotion behind the sentiment. He was sweet, and he was the very center of my heart. No matter what. No matter who I was with, ever, I would drop them like a hot potato if Robbie needed me.
He was family.
He was beloved.
He was mine.
Not in a romantic or sexual way, of course. No matter how much I’d secretly fantasized about it over the past ten years, it could never happen in real life. I was still his father’s friend, still like an uncle to the kid.
More than that, I was eighteen years older than he was, jaded as fuck, consumed with my work, and completely unsuited for the little ray of pure sunshine that Robbie was.
But that didn’t mean that I wouldn’t look out for him, protect him with my life, if I had to.
I just wished putting a smile on his face these days was as easy as handing him a scavenged seashell or a coin with a rabbit on it.
Magpie
It’s fine. I’m taking a break from dating anyway. Over it.
A break sounds nice.
Magpie
From now on, I’m just sleeping with whoever I want. No fuss, no feelings. Easy.
I stared at the screen and forced myself not to punch the contact button and call him immediately. After several calming breaths, I typed a response.
Maybe a break from men altogether is a better idea.
Magpie
No. I’ve been going about this all wrong. I wanted the picket fence. A husband. Big love. Fuck that. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let the search for Mr. Right stop me from getting Mr. Killer Orgasm.