Total pages in book: 44
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 41687 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 208(@200wpm)___ 167(@250wpm)___ 139(@300wpm)
Just like it was ungrateful that I was dragging my feet at Jake’s repeated pleas for me to give up my apartment and move in with him, despite a year of being courted properly, romance novel style. And that when Jake had asked why… all I could think about was Kittredge Evers.
How kissing him in my childhood bedroom had been the single most erotic moment of my life.
How I would have laid myself bare for him that night and any night before or since, if only he’d wanted me—though it had been clear he hadn’t and never would.
Hearing my friends second-guess my feelings about Jake hadn’t been the start of it, if I was being totally honest with myself. I’d just been doing a good job of shoving my doubts down. How could I complain about someone so amazing? Especially when I knew the man I did feel fiery passion for… didn’t want me back?
By the time I left work, I had a splitting headache and a strange sense of foreboding.
Just get home and take a long, hot shower before Jake arrives. Then enjoy a nice evening and catch up on sleep.
Maybe that was all I needed. Sleep and quiet.
But in my weakened state, I couldn’t help thinking of Kit as I made my way home on the bus. Of all the times he’d anticipated my needs and appeared magically with food and the insistence that I get in bed and rest. It was never up for debate. He recognized my need for recovery and simply made it happen.
My phone buzzed with a text from Jake. I felt a wash of guilt as I realized I’d never texted to thank him for the flowers.
Jake
Hey hon, can you meet me at the park? I’m bringing Angel for a walk.
I blew out a breath. The last thing I wanted to do was take a cold walk in the park with Jake and his dog. But then again, if we walked her now, she’d settle for the evening and not really need to go out again.
Getting off bus now. Meet you at the park in a few. Thank you so much for the flowers.
Jake
Glad you liked them. I have another surprise waiting for you when you get here. Love you!
I got off the bus at Eighth and Harrison and trudged toward the park, trying to figure out a polite way of telling him I didn’t need any more surprises for a while. It was all a bit much. Which, of course, made me a selfish, ungrateful asshole all over again.
Only. A. Fool, I reminded myself for the ten millionth time.
Who got the boyfriend of their dreams and then didn’t appreciate them?
Mid-trudge, I had to admit the answer was… me.
I was a fool.
Because despite a year of trying my damnedest, of practically willing myself to fall for Jake, there was still something missing.
A spark.
A hot, searing passion.
A feeling of being truly known and seen and understood.
I’d been telling myself to be patient. To try harder. To lower my expectations. That I was being held back by grief and a childish obsession with a man who’d always been off-limits, and once I got over those things, everything would snap into place for me and Jake. The passion I should’ve felt for him all along would magically appear.
But I was starting to doubt that.
Jake wasn’t the man who starred in my fantasies. And while Jacob Spellman was a safe choice, he didn’t make me feel safe from the world the way Kit had. Still did. Because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what had happened between us, or how much time lapsed between seeing each other, all I had to do was call, and Kit would come running to help me, no questions asked.
I sucked in a breath of cold air and shook my head. At least I didn’t need to make a decision anytime soon. I could just keep moving forward with Jake, keep trying, and keep enjoying things the way they were for a while.
When I reached the park, I was surprised by how many people were out. It was a dreary February day in San Francisco, cold and damp, and it was also Valentine’s Day on a Friday night. Weren’t people prepping for a big night out? What the hell were they doing in the park?
I finally spotted Jake’s wavy blond hair and Angel’s fluffy white coat. Once I reached them, I leaned in for a quick peck. “Happy Valentine’s Day,” I said, giving him a genuine smile before moving in for a hug.
Before I could get my arms around him, he handed me Angel’s leash, stepped back, and grinned at me expectantly. “So I was thinking… instead of a night in, we could go out.”
Church bells sounded faintly from somewhere, which was odd, but I was too busy trying to think of a polite way of saying hell no to pay much attention to them.