Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 116875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
My blood heats, hearing her talk about herself that way. “No.” I don’t know what to say, how to put into words everything that she is. How I see her. Her lovely face, laughing, teasing, and sly. The way she radiates. She outshines the sun. “You’re—”
She holds up a hand. “It’s true. My father is right.”
“He’s not.” I search for the words to explain why, but they won’t come. My lips and tongue won’t move. “He’s wrong,” I finally say. “He can’t talk to you that way. Tell me to kill him, and I will. I’ll kill anyone who hurts you.”
She gives me a sad smile. “I know.”
Talk to me, I want to beg her. Tell me who to fight, and I’ll fight them. I’ll do anything for you. Anything.
I did what Father Francis said and opened up to her for nothing. It’s no use. To her, I’ll always be the enemy. The man who wanted to own her.
She doesn’t need me to protect her from her father. I’m the biggest threat to her. Her light and her freedom, everything that makes her who she is. What can I do to prove that I’m not her enemy? How can I show her that she owns me?
I don’t know if it’s the right time, but I pull out the gift I got her. “I want you to have this,” I say. There’s so much bursting on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t say it. I’m not good with words.
So I open the black velvet box and show her the sparkling set of rings inside. “Oh,” she says, with a hint of interest.
“Do you like it?” Jaeger’s woman helped me pick it out. It’s not just one ring, but three that nest together. Diamonds and emeralds in a leaf pattern that reminds me of her plants.
“It’s beautiful,” she says but makes no move to take it. My heart sinks. She’s rejecting it. She’s rejecting me.
Then she jokes, “Are you asking me to marry you? A little late for that?”
My heart is pounding. “I thought it might be nice.”
Her gaze softens. Pity. My skin crawls. I don’t want her pity.
“I do like it.” She touches one of the emeralds. “When is the engagement party?”
“Saturday. We’ve arranged to host it on neutral territory. The home of Senator Blumkist. The Vesuvios will be there.”
She freezes. Her head is bowed, and I can’t see her face. “The Vesuvios?”
“The senator is in the pocket of both Fraternitas and the Vesuvio family. He’ll oversee the terms of a truce.”
“All right. I’ll wear the ring then.”
I put the jewelry box away. There’s a boulder in my throat. She doesn’t want to wear the ring until we have to fake it to the world.
You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I’ll call off the engagement. It’s on the tip of my tongue to say it. But if I can’t have her love, I’ll take her any way I can get her. I’m a coward. I’m afraid she’ll leave me.
Because why would she stay?
Bella
Kaiser is disappointed. He tries to hide it, but I can tell.
He reaches for me, and I lean back, out of the way. I can’t let him touch me. The poison’s in me, on me, lying in wait.
He wants me to open up to him. To be his good little bride. I can’t be that anymore. I can’t be a good girl, or daughter, or wife. Not even to pretend. What we had is gone. It had to die for me to be reborn.
But I want to touch him. My hands ache with longing. If only I could brush my fingers down his face, soothe him like he soothes me.
He leans in to kiss me, and I turn my face away. “Not now. I’m not feeling well.”
“Okay,” he says. “I understand.” Now I can hear the hurt in his voice. I lured him in, made him crave me, and now I’m withdrawing his favorite drug. “I’ll be better soon,” I say.
“Take all the time you need.”
He’s being sweet.
It doesn’t matter, I tell myself. I can’t be with him. He’ll never belong to me. Besides, how could we even be together? He’s my enemy. What do I expect him to do? Renounce his membership to the gang that raised him? The gang that he thinks of as his family? All those psychos and skull masks, they’re his brothers and sisters. They’d do anything for him, and he’d do the same for them. I don’t know much, but I know enough to know that family is everything. I can barely have a conversation with my father, and I’m still ready to take on all of Fraternitas simply because they threatened him.
Even if Kaiser was willing to leave Fraternitas, what would we do? Run away? Live on a farm? I imagine Kaiser as a farm boy, tilling the fields. Like my father did when my mother was alive.