Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 116875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116875 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 584(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)
“Just try.” I hold out my arm. “Please.” Atticus waves to his team, and two nurses come to my side to prep my arm for a blood draw.
I don’t even feel the bite of the needle. I don’t feel anything at all. Jaeger leans over Kaiser. They speak softly to each other. Then Jaeger hovers his hand over his brother’s head, not touching him. He stands frozen like this for a moment, then turns and strides out of the room without another word. If Kaiser dies, Jaeger will probably kill me.
If Kaiser dies, I’ll probably beg him to.
No, it won’t come to that. I’ll nurse Kaiser back to health, I don’t care what I have to do. I can’t lose him. He’s all I have. Without him, I’ll be all alone.
“All done,” Atticus says. He and his team now have several vials of my dark blood.
Kaiser lies still and quiet. Only the rise and fall of his chest tells me he’s alive.
“We’ve done all we can do for him, for now.” Atticus takes a deep breath, hesitates. “Except… we have a salve for his skin that should help with the blisters.”
“Okay...” I say, confused.
“We want to apply it but—”
It dawns on me what Atticus is hinting at. Of course he knows Kaiser’s secret weakness. “He doesn’t like to be touched. I’ll do it.”
“Are you sure?”
I look up at Atticus, and he blurs. I’m crying again. “He’s mine,” I say. “My… fiancé. I’ll do it.”
“All right, we’ll hold him down for you.”
“No,” I sniffle. “No. I’ll be okay.”
“He might fight,” Atticus warns.
“He won’t hurt me.”
“Call out if you need us.” Atticus and his team rip off their gloves and throw them in the hazmat container, leaving me and Kaiser alone.
The room feels so big and empty. Kaiser usually fills every space with his presence, but now he’s small, shrunk down, confined to a bed. His beautiful eyes are under a shroud.
It’s like he’s lying in a tomb, ready for death.
I can’t stand it. But I did this to him, so I’d better face the consequences. His head lifts when I move to his side. “Bella?”
“I’m here.” I don’t know what to say. “I’m… I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not. I’d do it again.”
I place the container of lotion close enough that his fingers can brush it. “I have to put this on your skin.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“It’s okay. I can take the pain.”
38
Bella
I can take the pain.
I nod, because I know it’s true. Kaiser can take the pain. He’s taken everything I’ve dished out.
I feel such despair. I’ve done nothing but hurt him. He had to be strong to survive me. He almost didn’t.
I want to touch him. Stroke his face, cup his cheeks, kiss his lips. Caress his cauliflower ears.
I pull on a pair of latex gloves instead. “I’m going to start on your face. I’ll be gentle but… tell me when to stop.”
“My safeword is kumquat.”
Oh no, he didn’t. “Shut up,” I whisper. My tears are falling again. “Shut up—” I press the back of my hand to my eyes. I don’t want to lose it. But I am.
“Hey.” He reaches for me, grabbing my arm, and I don’t pull away. “Come here.”
“I can’t,” I say, even as I let him pull me so I’m sitting on the bed. I don’t want him to strain himself. “I’ll hurt you. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” He takes my hand and presses it to his jaw. His skin is cracked and bubbling, an angry red ready to ooze pus.
“I’m hurting you,” I say.
“It doesn’t hurt. It feels like heaven.”
“Liar.”
“I will never lie to you.”
I pull my hand to free it from his. “Let me do this. Let me help you.” I scoop out the cream, a lot of it, and dab it on him.
I’m having flashbacks to when I coated myself in poison. Why did I do it? Why was I so focused on my plan? Why didn’t I think it through? I glide my fingers up his cheeks, trying to reach under the loose bandages. He has blisters everywhere, even on his ears. When I get to them, he winces, and I stop, sucking in a breath. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay,” I rave. “You’re hurting! Because of me.”
“No,” he says. “I feel things… because of you.”
I shake my head and realize he can’t see me. I bite my lip and start coating his upper chest and arms with the lotion.
“I didn’t feel anything until I found you. It was like my skin was dead. I had no feeling left in me. Couldn’t reach it. Until you.”
“Because I hurt you.” I smear the cream over his blistered bicep.
“Because you healed me.”
“I’m not a healer. I’m… I’m a fuck up.” It feels so good to finally admit it. “I wanted to be so strong. I wanted to be a supervillain—”