Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 80834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80834 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
But I’m afraid. Afraid he’ll see me differently, that I’ll ruin the one thing that feels real. I think of my customers—the faceless men, distant, irrelevant—and how none of them ever mattered. Only Jack does.
I practice the words in my head. “I have a secret.” “There’s something you should know.” “I do cam shows sometimes, for money, for attention, for something I can’t even name.” I imagine his reaction—shock, disgust, maybe even laughter. I can’t predict it, and that terrifies me.
By the time I enter our neighborhood, my hands are shaking. Then, I turn onto our street and see, with horror, that my parents’ car is already there. They’re home early. Oh shit shit shit! What do I do?
There’s only one thing to do. I check my face in the rearview. Lips swollen, hair a mess, makeup smeared under my eyes. I look exactly like what I am: a girl who spent the weekend getting ruined by a man twice her age.
I try to fix it, but there’s only so much repair that can occur in a cramped car with very few tools. Taking a deep breath, I grab my bag, square my shoulders, and march up to the front door, heart pounding so loud I can barely hear myself think.
The house is silent, except for the TV in the living room. I step inside, and sure enough, my mom is there, sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone.
Nancy looks up, eyebrow arched. “You’re home.”
“Yeah,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady.
She studies me for a second, then gestures at the kitchen. “Dinner’s in the fridge. Your father went to bed early. Wisconsin was fun, but we heard there was bad weather so we decided to come home early.”
I nod, inching toward the stairs. “Cool, I hope you had a good trip.”
My mom nods.
“Yes, we did. Your dad and I connected, and it was good to catch up with friends. But where have you been, Eliza? I see you have an overnight bag in hand.”
I smile wanly.
“Yeah, the house was so silent without you guys that I slept over at Tara’s.” Then I move towards the stairs, but my mom calls after me. “Did you have fun at least?”
I freeze. “Yeah. We went to the mall, saw a movie, gossiped. Nothing major.”
Nancy hums, skeptical but not pushing. “Good,” she says finally.
I manage a smile before making my escape. “Yeah, it was a fun weekend.”
In my room, I collapse on the bed, still trembling. I stare at the ceiling, replaying everything: Jack’s face when he said he loved me, the way my heart almost stopped. I want to text him, call him, tell him that I’m safe, that I miss him already.
Instead, I just lie there, counting my heartbeats, waiting for the courage to do what I know I have to do.
Tell him. Before it’s too late.
But not tonight.
Tonight, I let myself remember the way the handsome man looked at me, and let myself believe, just for a little while, that I deserve it.
The next morning, it’s barely 6:30 a.m. when I creep downstairs, and the house feels colder than it should for this time of year. But surprise, surprise, Nancy’s sitting at the kitchen table, scrolling on her phone.
“Hey, superstar,” she says, smiling too wide like she’s been waiting for me. “Did you sleep well?”
I nod, while striding to the cupboard to grab some cereal.
“Like a baby.”
My mom nods. “Did you have fun with Tara over the weekend?”
Oh shit, we’re back to this again. I decide to play it cool.
“Yeah, def,” I say, while pouring milk into my cereal. “It was chill. We just hung out and watched bad movies.”
She studies me for a long second, eyes scanning from my face to my hands. I’m dressed for work and nothing’s amiss. There shouldn’t be anything giving me away. But this is my mom, and she has eyes like a hawk.
“You look flushed,” she observes. “Everything okay?”
I force a laugh. “I’m good. I think I ate too much Panda Express last night for dinner. We hit the mall and got bored and, you know, orange chicken. MSG overdose.”
Nancy tilts her head, lips pursed. “What did you two do all weekend?”
My brain scrambles for details. “Just the usual. Watched Netflix. Caught up on work drama. Tara had this weird TikTok recipe for hot Cheetos mac and cheese, so we tried that. Regretted it instantly.”
Nancy nods, still watching. “And you were with Tara the whole time?”
I fight the urge to gulp. “Yeah. But what is this, Mom? The inquisition? Tara and I didn’t even go out after dark.”
Silence stretches. Nancy is excellent at interrogations, the kind where she just waits you out until you break or start babbling. My skin itches.
She finally shrugs. “You seem different, Eliza. Glowing, almost.”
Oh shit, oh shit. That shouldn’t happen after spending time with my best bud. I smile wanly.