Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 104869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 104869 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 524(@200wpm)___ 419(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
“Of course not,” she lied, offering Fern a tight smile in return.
The pregnant woman lowered herself onto the wooden bench with a soft, pleased sigh and they sat quietly for a few minutes. Fern occasionally sipped from her fruit juice, while Kenny merely swirled her wine in the glass.
“Are you okay?” Fern finally broke the oddly comfortable silence.
“I…” Don’t know. “Yes.”
Fern, turned to look at Kenny, her silvery-gray eyes intent.
“You looked upset when you were speaking with Beth earlier. Hurt.”
Had she? The observation surprised Kenny and her hand went to her face, as if she would somehow be able to feel the emotions to which Fern had referred etched into her skin.
“I was just—” Kenny hesitated, unable to organize her scattered thoughts into coherent structure.
She lapsed into a pained silence and hated that it would be perceived in the wrong way. That Fern would possibly be hurt or offended and walk away from the unproductive conversation.
A minute—then two—ticked by and Fern didn’t move. She remained quietly by Kenny’s side.
“My entire life,” the other woman suddenly said, the words sounding rushed and impulsive, “I’ve felt like I didn’t belong. It can be isolating. Painful. To always feel like you’re on the outside looking in. An observer to everyone else’s life. Even this…” She gestured toward the house with her free hand. “My marriage, it’s not mine.” She shook her head as if impatient with herself, and then lifted her eyes again, meeting Kenny’s stare directly. “I think because I’ve always felt like that, it’s a little easier for me to recognize that loneliness in someone else. And I know we don’t know each other and this is probably so out of line—especially considering how much of a mess my own life is right now—but I’m here if you want to talk.”
The insight—so unexpected and so accurate—touched Kenny and her breath left her in a single exhalation. Nobody had ever seen or recognized her loneliness before. Even Kenny hadn’t truly acknowledged it until right this moment.
And the other’s woman’s offer to talk so touched her that her eyes misted before she could suppress her emotions.
She swallowed past the painful lump in her throat and dipped her chin.
She opened her mouth to assure Fern that she was fine. That she was far from lonely. That she was merely preoccupied with work.
Instead of any of that, what came out in a wobbly voice was, “Smith left me.”
Kenny blinked, shocked to have verbalized the admission, and a single tear scalded a path down her cheek. She scraped her cheek against her shoulder, ruthlessly obliterating any trace of it.
“Oh no, Kenny,” Fern whispered in dismay. “I’m so sorry.”
“I know that when you met him last time, he didn’t make the best impression, but he’s actually a really great guy,” Kenny said, in a soft, pained voice that sounded nothing like her usual measured tones.
“I’m sure he is,” Fern soothed, although Kenny thought she could hear doubt in the other woman’s voice.
“He is,” she insisted. “I know I sound like one of those women who make excuses for their partner’s awful behavior but Smith is…was wonderful even though he hates me now. I don’t blame him. It’s difficult for me t-to talk to him—anyone really—sometimes. And that made it hard for us to…”
She shook her head and her voice tapered off as she faltered into embarrassed silence. The word salad still hovered in the space between them.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have said all that.”
“Why not?” Fern asked, her eyes and voice devoid of judgment. All Kenny saw in the other woman’s gaze was gentle understanding.
“You have enough going on with the baby and Cade. And your stepfather. My problems are of my own making and I can take care of them myself.”
“Of course you can. But you don’t have to. I don’t know Nox very well, but Gideon and Cade adore you. They’d want the opportunity to support you through this.”
“I know that. But not now. Not today. It’s Christmas.” She felt a surge of guilt as she said those words. “I know how excited you’ve been about today. I’m so sorry to drag you into my drama like this.”
“I’m glad you did,” Fern reassured, reaching over to give Kenny’s hand a supportive squeeze where it was curled into a tight fist on her lap. “You don’t have to say anything more about it right now if it makes you uncomfortable, and I promise not to breathe a word of it to anyone else.”
“I don’t mean to place you into any kind of awkward position with Cade,” Kenny whispered, the guilt worsening as she considered the ramifications of Fern keeping secrets from Cade. Her notoriously wary brother didn’t give his trust easily, and Kenny would hate to be the reason for creating tension between the couple.