Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 54899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 274(@200wpm)___ 220(@250wpm)___ 183(@300wpm)
He glances away, and shame colors his cheeks. “After the shotgun blast…” He swallows hard. “I was a monster, Karolina. More so than I ever was.”
I peer at him. “What do you mean? You never treated me badly when we were young. You weren’t a monster.”
His gaze snaps back to mine. “I was never good enough for you, but I claimed you for myself anyway. After that night… My face…”
My stomach churns. All that blood. The flash of bone through ruined flesh.
My fault.
“I didn’t mean to.”
I hate the weak echo of my useless excuse.
“I can never atone for what I did, but it was an accident.”
He caresses my cheek, and I realize I’m crying when his thumb wipes away wet heat.
“Why are you here if you survived that?” I ask. “You must hate me for what I did to you.”
“I could never hate you. I failed to protect you that night. I tried to shove the gun away. I know it was an accident.”
He says it like an absolute truth, but I see the flicker of doubt that darkens his blue eye.
Some part of him is afraid of me. He thinks it’s possible that I wanted to shoot him.
I could crush him with a word. Despite what I did to him, somehow, he’s been fighting to get back to me for years. He’s designed a whole new face and created an entirely new identity to win me back.
I’m not ready to excuse his lies, but I can’t bear to cause him more pain.
I place a hand against his chest, where he tattooed my name over his heart. “Yes,” I promise. “It was an accident. The biggest regret of my life. Regret doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
I broke both our hearts that night.
I study him with cautious hope. “You really didn’t tell Carter about us? You weren’t planning to share me with him?”
His jaw flexes. “You’re mine. I would never allow another man to touch you.”
I think about how he’s protected me as Rand. How he used to handle me with harsh possessiveness when we were teenagers.
“No,” I breathe. “I don’t think you would. I’m sorry I doubted you that night. I’m so sorry for what I did to you. Sorry will never be enough. Even when I thought you betrayed me, I couldn’t bear it. I’ve barely learned to live with it. Some part of me died with you that night.”
He tenderly strokes my hair. “I didn’t die. My love for you didn’t die. I’m still the same person who loved you more than anyone I’ve ever known. I didn’t know what love felt like until I saw you for the first time. I thought I was incapable of it. It’s only ever been you, Karolina. I know I’ve lied to you, but everything I’ve done has been for you. I always planned to come back to you someday.”
He gently shushes me as he wipes away more tears from my cheeks.
“But why lie to me? Why pretend to be someone else?” An echo of my anger over his deception flutters in my chest. “I suffered for years thinking I was a murderer. I would’ve done anything to take it back. You could’ve told me the truth instead of pretending to be Bones.”
His cheeks flush again. “Everything I told you about making my fortune in the ring was true. I did bad things. I didn’t want to come back to you as that broken boy. When I had enough money, I fixed my face for you. I became the man you deserved.” He shakes his head. “But that was a lie I told myself. I’ve never deserved you. I don’t think I ever will, but I can’t bring myself to leave you. I belong with you.”
My fingers flex against his chest, as though I can grasp his heart in my hand and hold him impossibly close.
“I didn’t know Rand. I was falling for him, but I didn’t love him. Maybe I would have one day, but the devotion scared me. It didn’t make sense.”
His features tighten with anguish. “Will you ever love me again?”
My soul tugs towards his. “I want to,” I admit on a ragged whisper. “But I don’t know if I can trust you anymore. There are so many lies between us now. I know I hurt you when I shot you, but you hurt me, too, Brandon. The nightmares about what I did to you…”
My vision blurs, and he pulls me into a warm embrace.
He’s so much bigger than he used to be when we were seventeen. His arms are strong and corded with muscle, and his chest is hard beneath my cheek.
“Forgive me,” I beg on a broken sob.
He strokes a broad hand up and down my spine. “There’s nothing to forgive. Nothing that happened is your fault.”