Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 50512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 253(@200wpm)___ 202(@250wpm)___ 168(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 50512 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 253(@200wpm)___ 202(@250wpm)___ 168(@300wpm)
I swallow down the ball of emotion in my throat, feeling out of control in my own body again. My breaths come too quick. I never thought this would be his reaction. Not after what happened between us. Not after all the time we’ve spent together.
“Please, just promise me?” he asks again.
I shake my head. “I can’t promise that.”
“Promise that you’ll try.”
“Fine.” I only agree because he looks half ready to wend as far away from me as possible. Does he think this is fun for me? That I like having to beg him to feed me or take my nightmares away?
Another thought hits me like an anvil. Maybe he feels used. Maybe he feels like a mere tool for my survival. That couldn’t be further from the truth. I part my lips to assure him that’s not the case, but he’s already gone.
I sigh, glancing at the bush next to me, reaching out to touch the new roses I’d helped bloom earlier. The crumble under my touch.
“Have they pulled you in for any official votes yet?” Annika asks me later that night. She, Daphne, and I all sit around a small firepit in one of the residence’s many courtyards. This one is decorated with stone pots overflowing with jasmine and moonflowers.
“No,” I answer with a sigh.
“That’s good,” Annika says. “But as a duchess, you know they will.”
“The title is still hard to wrap my head around,” I admit. “One minute I’m a sophomore in college, the next I’m Duchess Somerhaul.” I shake my head. “Especially since my vampire father wanted nothing to do with me thanks to my human mother.” Even though he was the one who pursued her. Shock of his life when it resulted in me being born.
Daphne laughs softly, taking a sip of her sparkling water. “One second you’re just a human pawn for your cult family to use in a political agenda, the next, you’re in college because a demon king decided to pay for your tuition.”
A laugh rolls through me. “At least I’m not alone in the weirdness.”
“Never,” Daphne says, reaching out to squeeze my hand.
“You know we’re here for you,” Annika adds. “Always.”
Warmth flutters through me, helping chase away the heavy from earlier. “I appreciate that. I really do.”
“Have any guesses on whose mark that is yet?” Annika asks, eying the tattoo I never hide on my neck.
“Not a clue.” I shrug. “If it’s Samuel’s, I’d rather die. If it’s Saint’s, I think he’d rather die.” The truth of that threatens to crush me.
“But you said he put you at his neck when you fed from him.” Annika shifts in her chair.
“Yeah,” I answer. “So?”
“So,” she laughs. “Vampires have this whole thing about where we get bitten.”
I furrow my brow. “You do?”
“We do,” she corrects me.
Right. We. Because I’m a vampire. Just a really bad one.
“There’s a significance when it’s at the neck. An intimate one.”
Heat storms beneath my skin at the memory of his hands guiding my mouth to his neck.
“It takes a ton of trust,” she continues.
“It’s not like I’m a threat to him. He’s a million-year-old hunter.”
They both laugh at that.
“He hasn’t rejected the possible bond either,” Annika says. “Right?”
I shake my head, hating that hope slips into my heart. “He’d have to say the words, right?” I ask, remembering what she told me about mating bonds before.
“Yeah,” she says. “And you’d feel it.” She tilts her head. “I’m surprised you haven’t felt something one way or another.”
Another sigh rattles out of me. “I wish I could.” I check internally again. “It’s hard for me to sort all of my emotions and sensations,” I admit. “Since the hunters found me, I haven’t really felt like me. The past few weeks have gotten better, where I feel like I’m coming out of a hazy nightmare, but I can’t be sure what I feel means anything concrete.” I rake my fingers through my hair. “I’ve always felt attached to Saint. He found me. He helped take the nightmares away. Helped me feed when I couldn’t stand the thought. How am I to know that my attachment to him is anything other than a he saved me?”
Annika swirls the wine in her glass. “I don’t know. I’m sorry. I can’t imagine how hard it is.”
“I would say it isn’t, but then I’d be lying.” I take a sip of my drink. “Especially after feeding from him. I felt so clear. So much like myself it felt like regaining a piece of my soul.” I shake my head. “And then he seeks me out and says it can never happen again.” I mime a knife to the heart, and the girls laugh with me.
“Fuck him then,” Annika says, making me laugh harder. “There are other willing vampires to feed from that are just as powerful. It’s not always an intimate thing. Dagon could feed you his hunter blood and maybe you’d feel just as clear-headed.”