Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 82847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82847 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 414(@200wpm)___ 331(@250wpm)___ 276(@300wpm)
I took a few bites of the ravioli, something I picked up from the market. Fresh made that day, just had to boil it for three minutes and it was done. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything—you know that.” He continued to eat like a hungry bear, arms on the table.
“You don’t seem like a guy who works for someone else.”
He took another bite and continued to eat.
I waited for him to respond.
He swallowed his food. “I’m waiting for the question.”
“Why don’t you do your own thing? Have people working for you? You just seem more like a leader than a follower.”
“I’ve been asked that question a lot by a lot of different people. And the simple answer is, it’s harder to see the details around you when you’re driving the car. But when you’re the passenger, all the details come into focus in much sharper quality. It allows me to do my job well. And when everyone is coming for the don’s throat, it allows me to come for theirs first. In some ways, I do think I’m the one in charge, but the don doesn’t want to admit that—especially to himself. I’ve never been good at diplomacy or negotiation or even friendship, so I’m a much better pit bull that never gets put on a leash. Besides, there’s not much adrenaline in bossing people around and running a business and all that. Sounds like a fucking snooze fest. Tell me to kill someone who crosses the line. Tell me to torture someone for information. Tell me to break someone’s neck for showing disrespect. That’s the kind of shit I’m into.”
“So you like violence for the sake of violence.”
“Not how I would describe it. I would say I like to play the game. I like to be in the field. Let me put it this way. There are cops who are on the street arresting bad people and putting them in jail, and their bosses are the ones in their fancy corner offices signing paperwork all day long and getting fat. I don’t want to sit at a desk and get fat. I want to get my hands dirty—every single day.”
That was a better explanation than his previous one.
“Any other questions?” he asked as he continued to eat.
“Not related to work…but something more personal.”
“Ask me anything, and I’ll tell you.”
My relationship with Wolfe was different from any other date or hookup or situationship I’d had in my life. And his transparency and point-blank assertions were refreshing. There was no bullshit. No riddles. Just raw data. “What kind of future do you see for yourself?”
His eyebrows furrowed at the question. “Alive—hopefully.”
“I mean, where do you see yourself in five years?”
“Is this a job interview?” he barked. “If there’s something you want to know, just ask.”
“I just don’t want to give you the wrong idea of why I’m asking the question.”
“Ask your question first, and then clarify your intentions afterward,” he said. “This is why I always shoot straight for the hip—to avoid wasting time like this.”
“It’s delicate—”
“Ask your question—”
“Do you see yourself getting married someday?”
He stilled then stared.
“I’m not asking because I want to get married or anything… I’m just wondering.”
“Marriage is not something I’ve ever thought about—not once.” Like the question didn’t bother him or make him lose his appetite, he put a few ravioli in his mouth and chewed. When he was finished, he spoke again. “I’ve never cared or respected the institution. I’m not religious, and up until now, I’ve never been monogamous. It’s not exactly my vibe. Instead of standing in a church before God and exchanging vows under the oversight of a priest, I’d rather swear a blood oath to a woman in the presence of the devil. Cut my palm with a knife, and with the blood dripping from my fingertips, pledge my loyalty, my protection, and my blood lust for as long as I live. Worship her like a muse in a cult.”
I listened to all that with a slight guard, intimidated by his intensity and his imagery. “Then you do believe in marriage… It just looks different to you than it does to everyone else.”
“Perhaps.” He continued to eat. “What about you?”
“I believe in God.”
“I meant about marriage.”
“Do I want to get married someday?”
“Yes.” He grabbed a piece of bread and ate it.
“Of course I do.” I didn’t want to shy away from that fact. I wasn’t sure if Wolfe would be my husband someday. What we had was passionate and real and intense, but was he someone who could settle down and be a husband and a father? I wasn’t sure. He told me if I ever married him, he would never let me go, hunt me to the ends of the earth if I ever tried to run, would refuse a divorce if I asked for it, so I wasn’t sure if that was a smart choice anyway. “I think I already know the answer to this, but do you think about having children?”