Total pages in book: 62
Estimated words: 60481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60481 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
Did I wish Ted were around to co-parent JT with me?
I let that question settle. I didn’t need more than a second to know the answer. No. No, I didn’t.
Ted was all about Ted. He’d always been about himself. The driver. The one with all the glory while everyone worked their asses off behind the scenes to make his car run at optimal performance, so he could win. Sure, he was an amazing driver, but no one won if his Indy car chugged along like a ride-on mower.
I’d been convenient for him because I was part of his pit crew. I was the only woman around. I’d literally been right in front of him. He hadn’t had to hunt me down. Try hard. He knew exactly where to find me. When he was ready for a pit stop, I serviced him.
Okay, that was a pretty crude image of what our relationship had been, but it was true.
When I became inconvenient, he broke things off. He wasn’t a bad guy, but he wasn’t good either. He wasn’t like Sam. He didn’t do anything that didn’t benefit him. He never truly had my back because he knew I, along with the rest of the pit crew, always had his.
That’s what the grief I felt was about, over me choosing a guy who threw me away like dirt when I had given everything. It had been my job to get him to win. I was back up. Support. I’d chosen a guy who thought I was a lesser species.
Choosing a guy whose family–I meant, pack–would never ever accept me because I was different from them.
That was the real reason I wanted Sam to leave. I didn’t want to go through that heartbreak again.
“No. I’m long past that.”
Some of the tension left Sam’s face. I needed to try to explain it to him. I owed him that much. Whether or not this thing with him would work out, I needed to try to be honest.
Besides, Sam was the first person I could talk to about this stuff. Because Ted had sworn me to secrecy about wolf shifters, and I hadn’t met one since. His pack didn’t know that I knew what he was, and if they found out, they’d somehow have my memory wiped.
To Ted and his family, I’d just been the girl on the pit crew he’d had some fun with.
“At the time, I thought I loved him. It was fun. The sex was good, then he threw me away like I was nothing. He said his alpha told him to break it off. That he had to find a she-wolf to mate.” Tears flooded my eyes. Not for my bruised ego, but for the trauma of being dumped the same day I found out I was pregnant, knowing I couldn’t share the news. Ever. For the way my entire life changed in that moment and for how difficult life had been ever since. Ted was oblivious to the carnage he’d left in his wake.
I wasn’t sorry for being with Ted. JT was worth every moment of heartache and hardship. But I guessed I hadn’t had a chance to grieve the way things went down because tears were suddenly leaking out of my eyes.
Dammit. I hated crying. I’d been alone with this for six years.
“Come here.” Sam opened his arms.
I found myself moving into them without even thinking. His hold was the last place I should be, but I needed to feel supported, even if just for a night.
“I’m not going anywhere.” He rubbed my back. “You’re not kicking me out tonight. I’m not gonna be punished for what some other wolf did to you.” He gripped the back of my neck and kissed the top of my head.
That stopped my tears because he was right–that was what I was doing. I lifted my face to look at him.
His eyes glittered unnaturally. “Our deal’s off.”
21
CLIO
* * *
My breath stalled. “What?”
“I want to be more than your fuck toy. I want you to give us a real shot.”
Oh.
Oh.
I was trying to kick him out while he was telling me he wanted more, not less. Tears swam in my eyes again. Why in the hell was I still crying? Jeez, I needed to get a grip.
“Um, I–”
“I can tell by your reaction that we need to talk.” He massaged the back of my neck. “We haven’t spent much time together not fucking.”
I pulled back enough that our eyes met. My thoughts were a muddled mess. “Yeah. Okay.”
He grinned, and it was genuine and natural and all for me.
My heart was still pounding over discovering he was a shifter and all the unresolved emotions that had followed.
I couldn’t date another wolf. I wouldn’t.
But kicking Sam out right now felt like an impossibility. Even if I still wanted to, he’d told me he wouldn’t go.