Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 139088 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 695(@200wpm)___ 556(@250wpm)___ 464(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139088 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 695(@200wpm)___ 556(@250wpm)___ 464(@300wpm)
“We would,” Shanti said. “Then it didn’t work out, and more than a year has gone by.”
“I promised Knox I wouldn’t say anything. You were all already trying to push us together, getting in our business, if you knew…” I trailed off.
“Knew what?” Joey asked.
I took a deep breath and said, “I think the cat’s out of the bag that his sister is a complete mess.”
“Oh yeah, that cat is totally out of the bag,” Raye drawled.
“Well, his sister is a mess, and my sister is a mess, and he wasn’t all fired up to add my family dysfunction to his life,” I stated.
This was true.
However, this hadn’t really been an issue. Knox, like me, didn’t understand what Dream’s problem was, and it upset him she was a problem for me, so it was kinda an issue, just not a big one, nor one that came between us.
I did not share this with Dream yesterday, though.
“That’s why you broke up?” Gemma sounded disbelieving.
“Part of it,” I answered (that was a total lie).
“What’s the other part?” Raye pushed.
“The other part I’m not going to share.” (And this was why I uttered that total lie.)
“So you promised Knox, who you were with for two weeks, you wouldn’t impart this information to your best bitches, who you’ve known for years, and then you didn’t do that,” Raye said in a dull voice that stung because I hated that I made her sound that way.
Still, I couldn’t back down.
“And what would happen if I did?” I challenged.
But I didn’t allow them to answer.
I kept at them.
“Let’s go over our choices. One, you’d all be pissed at Knox, which would put our friend posse in jeopardy. I’ll remind you, Raye, he served with Cap, your fiancé, and they’re super close. And I don’t have to remind you that you and I are super close too.” I looked at Jess, Harlow and Willow in turn. “He’s super close with all your men.” I took them all in. “Our whole tribe is super close, as tribes tend to be. So, maybe we fuck up that dynamic…for what? A two-week relationship that wasn’t strong enough to stay the course?”
I could see understanding clear in Harlow’s eyes, as I heard my voice deteriorating, and actually all of their expressions changing, but now this was flowing, I couldn’t stop it.
“Or his buds get pissed at him and try to get him to try again with me, like Brady did, and I went along with that. Though, that was not my finest hour.”
Gemma, who was into Brady, as Brady was into Gemma, bit her lip and looked away.
There it was.
Proof.
Not my finest hour.
I kept speaking. “Or you get pissed at me for giving up and try to get me to have another go with him. But what eventually ended it was too big to surpass. I can’t share it with you because it might affect how you think of him, and I refuse to do that. I might think it’s wrong, but it’s him. It’s how he is. Who he is. It’s not for you to judge. It’s not for you to change. If it isn’t for me to judge or change, it sure as hell isn’t for you.”
“Luna–” Gemma tried to break in gently.
But there was no stopping me now.
“Trust me, you all were constantly pushing me at him anyway, not even knowing this, and I experienced the agony of that. If you knew we’d had what we’d had, you’d have doubled down, and I couldn’t have hacked it. So I kept it secret, like Knox asked, but I did that for me too, because I needed it.”
I was finally talked out, thank God, and more thanks to God, none of them forged into the silence.
Eventually, Jessie broke it. “I can’t really be pissed at you when I kept my whole family history from all of you until my brother disappeared, and it was outed.”
Very true.
“Though you did give me shit for doing that,” she continued. “But that didn’t last long so, sadly, I can’t hold a grudge.”
Thank God for that. Jess was hell on wheels with a grudge.
Willow glanced at Shanti.
Shanti suddenly was fascinated with her gold-strapped Havaianas-clad feet.
Shanti didn’t share.
I also didn’t share that she was total shit at hiding she had it bad for Liam, another Nightingale man, and she wasn’t going there (neither was Liam, who was also shit at hiding he was into Shanti big-time, though both of them were good at hiding this from each other).
“Now, I slept on Dream’s couch—” I began.
“You went to Dream?” Harlow’s voice was pitched high.
“I needed space and that guaranteed it,” I explained something that didn’t need to be explained since they’d dragged me into my own apartment, unlocking the door and everything.
“That would guarantee it,” Joey muttered.
That was almost funny.