Nicola Haken – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read

Nicola Haken – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.books2020.com Fri, 03 Feb 2023 20:32:54 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.9.4 http://www.books2020.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/favicon.png Nicola Haken – Read Books Online Free Ebooks good best novels to read http://www.books2020.com 32 32 A Different Kind of Love Read Online Nicola Haken http://www.books2020.com/a-different-kind-of-love-read-online-nicola-haken Fri, 03 Feb 2023 20:31:38 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/a-different-kind-of-love-read-online-nicola-haken Genre: Contemporary, Forbidden, M-M Romance, Romance, Taboo Authors: Nicola Haken Advertisement

Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 116999 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 585(@200wpm)___ 468(@250wpm)___ 390(@300wpm)

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Love is simple. People are not.

Despite growing up without it, William Walker knows all about love. He loves his wife. He loves his children. He loves the cat. He has the perfect family, and all he had to do to get it was push aside one pesky little feeling.

Unfortunately, love doesn’t pay the bills.

Following redundancy, an opportunity thrusts the amiable electrician into a world he’s only seen on the big screen, a world he’s now a part of creating. As a spark on a movie set, William is enthralled by the challenge. The freedom. The possibilities. And, in particular, by one very charismatic actor…

Laurence Cole.

The trouble with Laurence is that he makes that pesky feeling resurface. Worse, the longer he sticks around, the stronger it grows, the more it changes. Into what, William doesn’t know. It’s not love. William Walker knows all about love.

Unless…

It’s a different kind of love.

*************FULL BOOK START HERE*************

Chapter One

William

Everything looks as it should this morning. I’m wearing the same branded uniform I’ve put on every day for the last seventeen years. The sun highlights the scratch in the dining table. Ben, my youngest, steals a piece of my toast on his way to college. My daughter, Lucy, is almost late for work. The cold glass feels familiar on my lips as I take a sip of orange juice, same as every other day. Only, today’s not the same. Today’s the day I’m going to find out whether I’ll have a job to go back to next week and, honestly, I feel all shades of sick about it.

“Don’t forget I’ll be late tonight,” my wife, Rebecca, reminds me, leaning over my shoulder to peck my cheek.

I turn in time to catch her lips. “I haven’t.” Since being promoted to National Property Manager for her banking firm, Becca has a lot of late nights. The career move also involves travel and occasional nights away. She seems to be revelling in the challenge, though. She’s happy, which makes me happy.

Becca straightens up, keys jangling in her hand. “I’ve given Ben money to go out tonight, so don’t let him con you out of more.” She turns to leave, then looks back, shoulders slumping. “Whatever happens with your job today, we’ll be okay. You know that, right?”

Seeing her face, her small smile framed by the honey bob that she keeps neat and glossy to the point of impeccable, I can’t help but believe her. That smile is infectious. Always has been, ever since the moment I first saw her back in high school, when she was assigned to help me with maths during lunch. Being Head Girl of our year, she had to do shit like that. Spend time with losers. Spend time with me. She’s the most beautiful person I’ve ever known. She’s got the purest heart, the kindest soul. She’s the greatest mother. I’m under no illusion that I could never deserve her.

“Yeah,” I agree, nodding. “Love you, babe.”

Becca scrunches her nose, blows me a kiss. “Back at ya.”

When she leaves, I blow out a sigh, stretch my arms above my head and let them fall on the table, almost knocking over my glass. There’s not much orange juice left inside, so I drink the last of it, pulling a face as I do. I prefer apple, but Becca doesn’t. So, we have orange. Sometimes cranberry if she’s in the mood for it.

For several minutes, I do nothing. I don’t finish my toast. I don’t clear the breakfast dishes. I don’t stroke the cat when she rubs at my leg. I just…sit. And wonder. Wonder how one of the biggest firms of electricians in the North West could be about to go bust. Wonder how I’ve worked my arse off since the day I left school, only to be sitting here at thirty-seven not knowing if I’m going to be able to pay my mortgage in three months’ time. Wonder why, when I scour the jobsites, there isn’t a single vacancy for a fulltime electrician paying anywhere near what I’m damn well worth given my years of experience and qualifications. Wonder why our grocery bills have doubled, why I’m contemplating how vital two kidneys are every time I pull into the petrol station, why the hot water in the radiators costs as much as liquid fucking gold…

Wonder why I still, three years shy of forty, try and get to sleep before Becca comes to bed to avoid having to decline sex, and then wonder why that’s even on my fucking mind right now.

A vibration against my leg snaps me from my musings. I reach into the pocket of my cargo pants, pull out my phone. One glance at the screen, and my chest feels like it’s been stomped on. “Morning, boss,” I say after swiping across the screen and raising it to my ear.

“Will…” Richard, my team leader and friend of ten years, takes a breath long enough for me to know what’s about to follow. My heart sinks. “It’s not good news, fella. Word came in this morning from the Big Man. Doors close, so to speak, on Friday. We’ll be paid till the end of the month.”

Fuck. I’ve worked for this company since I was sixteen years old. That’s more than half my life. “That’s…something, I s’pose.”

“So I’ve been given the task of calling round every poor fucker that’s about to be unemployed.”

“Shit. Sorry, mate.” Selfishly, the thought rather you than me runs through my head. “That mean I’m alone on today’s job?”

“Nah. I’ll probably join you around eleven. I can’t imagine the guys are gonna want to spend too long on the phone after hearing what I’ve got to say.”

I nod, even though he can’t see me. “Well, good luck, and I’ll catch you in a bit.”

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Advertisement Bring Me Home Read Online Nicola Haken http://www.books2020.com/bring-me-home-read-online-nicola-haken Wed, 13 Oct 2021 23:53:46 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/bring-me-home-read-online-nicola-haken Genre: Alpha Male, Billionaire, Romance, Tear Jerker Authors: Nicola Haken Advertisement

Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 103281 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 413(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)

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Read Online Books/Novels:	Bring Me Home
Author/Writer of Book/Novel:	Nicola Haken
Language:	English
ISBN/ ASIN:	9798471423923
Book Information:
A tale of friendship, acceptance, and second chances... Hugo Hayes has it all; the voice, the money, the looks. Adored by fans all over the world, there’s nothing more he could ever wish for. Or so it appears. But no one sees what happens off stage. Nobody knows where he came from, what he goes through, where he’s heading… Except the girl he left behind. She’ll know. She always did. Helen Jenkins is starting over. Back on the diet and heading for a career change, it’s time to stop wallowing in the past and give up missing the best friend who traded her in for fame and glory eight years ago. Harder than it sounds when his image and voice seem to follow her wherever she goes… Harder still when he appears at her front door one rainy spring night. Hugo is falling. After all these years, will Helen still be prepared to catch him before the inevitable crash? Or has he lost the only home he’s ever known, forever? Please note: Recommended for adult readers only. This book contains scenes, language, and references that may pose as a trigger, or be uncomfortable to read, for some people.
Books by Author:	Nicola Haken

One

Helen

Thirteen years ago…

School had dragged by painstakingly slowly today. It always did when Hugo hadn’t turned up before the end of registration. It was a pretty crappy place to be without my best friend by my side. I didn’t have many friends, wasn’t slim enough to hang with the popular girls or smart enough to chill with the boffins, but I didn’t particularly care. I liked my own company and I had my drawing pad and pencils to keep me busy. What made the day painful was knowing that if Hugo wasn’t there, it meant he was having a bad day.

At lunchtime I knocked on the door of the head of pastoral’s office. Mrs Armstrong knew Hugo well, better than his own fucking parents, and I wanted to see if she’d heard from him…or them. I doubted the latter.

“Helen.” She said my name with sadness, like she already knew what I’d come for. “You know I can’t talk about him with you.”

Yeah, yeah, confidentiality and all that crap. She must’ve known Hugo and I shared everything. “Please, Miss? Can you at least tell me if he’s called in? Or you’ve heard from his mum? I’ve tried texting but he’s not replied.” I couldn’t call because I’d ran out of credit, but he always replied to my texts unless things were really bad. He was also supposed to have music today. Hugo never missed music. It was the only lesson he actually enjoyed.

Mrs Armstrong’s head tilted as she exhaled a long sigh. “I haven’t heard anything,” she admitted, clearly feeling sorry for me. It wasn’t me she should feel sorry for. “Try not to worry.”

“Right.” The word sounded every bit as acidic as I’d intended it to, though I knew I’d probably feel bad later. I liked Mrs Armstrong. She’d been the only adult in his whole life to show an interest in Hugo and his needs, but in that moment I needed her to make me feel better and she had nothing.

Hitching my bag further onto my shoulder, I turned to leave, make my way to English, but stopped when I heard my name. “And Helen?”

I spun round, heart racing with anticipation in case she’d changed her mind, decided to give me news about my friend. “Yeah?”

“Lengthen that tie. You know the rules.”

Go fuck yourself. “Yes, Miss.”

At the end of the day, I sprang from my seat before the bell had finished ringing. I caught the bus straight to Hugo’s house, knowing my mum would still be at work for a couple more hours. No one answered after my first knock, so I did it again, harder this time.

“All right, give it a bloody rest, will yer!” I heard Mrs Hayes yell from the other side. My head moved with the door, followed it open trying to get a look inside to search for Hugo.

“He’s not ‘ere,” said his mum, the words slurring on her lips. Great, she’d been drinking again.

“Do you know where he is?”

She scratched at her face, rubbed her eyes like I’d woken her. Then, she just shrugged.

“Right. Thanks.” I didn’t wait for her to close the door before walking off. I was pretty sure I knew where he’d be now, so I picked up my pace into a jog and sprinted to the end of the road, turning left towards the park.

“Christ,” I choked out into the cold September air. Being fat didn’t usually bother me, but I hated myself right then for being unfit. My run had slowed into a fast walk because breathing had started to feel like inhaling shards of glass. All I could think was if I’d stuck to the diet I’d started a month ago, I could’ve reached Hugo already.

Eventually, the monotony of bricks and pavements broke and the field of green came into view. Once through the gates, I passed the playground and the fountain, kept going around the pond and down past the gigantic cedar until I saw the neglected bandstand. Our bandstand.

“Hugo…” His name rolled off my tongue as a whisper when I saw the hunched figure a short distance away. I ran for the stone steps that led up onto the polygonal stage and, when I got there, took them two at a time. “Hugo.”

Dressed in his school uniform, minus the blazer, Hugo had his back to the metal railings, his head buried deep in his knees which he was hugging close to his chest. Tossing my bag onto the floor, I knelt down beside him. “Hugo, what is it?”

His body started rocking back and forth, gently at first, but when I tried to take his arm he pulled back and started moving even faster. A loud sob ripped from his throat and he flung his head back onto the railings. The sound of the impact made me jump, forced a rush of air into my lungs. Then, he did it again…and he wouldn’t stop.

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Advertisement The Making of Matt (Souls of the Knight #3) Read Online Nicola Haken http://www.books2020.com/the-making-of-matt-souls-of-the-knight-3-read-online-nicola-haken Fri, 04 Dec 2020 21:40:27 +0000 http://www.booksnovels.com/the-making-of-matt-souls-of-the-knight-3-read-online-nicola-haken Genre: Gay, GLBT, M-M Romance, Romance Authors: Nicola Haken Series: Souls of the Knight Series by Nicola Haken
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Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 87950 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 440(@200wpm)___ 352(@250wpm)___ 293(@300wpm)

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Read Online Books/Novels:	The Making of Matt (Souls of the Knight #3)
Author/Writer of Book/Novel:	Nicola Haken
Language:	English
Book Information:
Matt Carter, self-proclaimed sex-god and drummer for world renowned Souls of the Knight, didn’t have the time or inclination for planning his future, preferring to fill his days with music, women and alcohol. He didn’t want or need anything else in his life. Until the band parted ways and he found himself no longer living the dream. Bored and lonely, with too much time and money on his hands, Matt turns to his best friend, Alex Clark, to help devise a new direction to take his life in. Together, they embrace their newfound venture, as owner and manager of one of L.A.’s hottest gay clubs – Kaleidoscope. For the first time, Matt has a plan. He knows where life is heading. Until a devastating phone call turns his whole world upside down, sending him straight into the comforting arms of his best friend and leading him to doubt everything he’s ever known or believed about himself. Alex had always been content with his unrequited feelings for his rockstar friend, but as Matt starts to question if he might actually feel the same, he runs as fast as his feet will allow. Has Matt gone too far? Has his reputation as an irresponsible womanizer who refuses to take life seriously, finally managed to push his best friend away for good? Or is Alex hiding secrets of his own? (M/M romance. Not suitable for under 18’s due to language and sexual content.)
Books in Series:	Souls of the Knight Series by Nicola Haken
Books by Author:	Nicola Haken

Chapter One

~Matt~

“UGH,” I GRUMBLED, shrugging away whatever the fuck was nudging my shoulder.

“I said get the hell outta bed! The wedding starts in a half hour!”

“Shit!” Leaping out of bed I barged straight past Alex and into the en-suite. “Why the fuck didn’t you wake me?”

“I did! When I left the hotel almost two hours ago you said you were getting up.”

“That was two hours ago?” Jeez, it’s amazing how quickly time passes when you’re sleeping.

Kip and Elle were getting married today. They’d been planning it for the last twelve months and I was glad it was almost over so Elle wouldn’t be able to bore the shit outta me with freakin’ bridal magazines anymore.

“It’s not my fault,” I protested around a mouth full of toothpaste foam. “I’m jetlagged.”

“Dude, we’ve been here almost a week.”

“Well my body’s extra sensitive. Still don’t see why they couldn’t just get married back home.”

“Because it’s not their home. They’re both from London. All their friends and family are over here.”

By this point I was hopping through to the bedroom, pulling on my underwear with one hand and shaving my face with my electric razor with the other. I preferred the electric version. I liked the light layer of stubble it left behind that, if it were possible, made me look even hotter.

“Grab my suit,” I said, setting down the razor and picking up my cologne from the nightstand. Huffing, Alex padded toward the closets, only to turn straight around when he opened them.

“There’s nothing in here. Please tell me you remembered to pick it up yesterday.”

“I asked you to pick it up.”

“Um, no, you didn’t. You said you were just-”

“Never mind what I said. What the fuck am I gonna wear?” I let out what could only be described as a growl before rubbing at my puffy, tired eyes. “You’re gonna have to go get me another suit.”

“I’m not your bitch, Matt. Besides, there’s no time. The car will be here in fifteen minutes.”

I sighed, running my hand over my face. “Fuck.”

“Just throw on some jeans and a vest. To be honest, they’ll probably be expecting it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I snapped. We argued a lot lately and I didn’t really get why. Whenever we were together for too long I started getting restless and on edge, which was bizarre because I thought of Alex as my very best friend.

“It means you’re unorganized and unreliable and everyone knows it.”

“Screw you, asshole.”

With no other option, I rummaged through my suitcase until I found a pair of dark jeans and a white vest. I coupled it with a smart jacket – not quite wedding attire but it would have to do. I wasn’t unreliable, just… industrious. That means busy, right?

Once I was as presentable as I could be within ten minutes I took what felt like my first breath of the day. It was only then I really looked at Alex and realized how smart he looked.

“Wow. You look kinda hot, dude,” I complimented, eyeing his sharp gray suit up and down. I found myself flirting with Alex every so often, partly because I flirted with everybody and partly because it made him smile. I liked that. He was my friend, seeing him happy made me happy.

“Not too bad yourself.”

“Goes without saying,” I agreed, combing through my hair with my fingers. It’d been years since I sported my natural color. The girls dug the dirty-blond look. But since I lost my hair in a bet last year, I didn’t bother bleaching it again as it grew out. So now I was my own light-brown. Turned out the chicks liked that, too.

Less than half an hour after I got out of bed, we arrived at the church. When we got out of the car Alex took one last disapproving look at me before snickering to himself, and then I followed him inside. It was an old-fashioned type of building. Very British. Like the kind of building you would’ve seen on Downton Abbey or Miss Marple, or any other of the shit TV shows Alex liked to watch – old brick, stained glass windows and a steeple. I didn’t like churches – I never had. They were creepy places. Eerie. I always felt like I was being watched by someone I couldn’t see and it left me feeling unnerved.

I walked up toward the front of the church where I saw Sawyer and Jake sitting on the first pew. Ryder and Mason were on the opposite side, along with Kylie – Elle’s sister – and a bunch of old people I’d never seen before. When Sawyer saw me, the sarcastic bastard looked at his watch, exaggerating the move, before raising an eyebrow. I ignored him, choosing to go straight to Kip and wrap one arm around him, clapping his back.

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Advertisement Taming Ryder Read online Nicola Haken (Souls of the Knight #2) http://www.books2020.com/taming-ryder-2-read-online-nicola-haken Mon, 17 Feb 2020 01:57:33 +0000 http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/taming-ryder-2-read-online-nicola-haken Genre: Angst, Erotic, Gay, GLBT, M-M Romance, Romance Authors: Nicola Haken Series: Souls of the Knight Series by Nicola Haken
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Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 81597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 408(@200wpm)___ 326(@250wpm)___ 272(@300wpm)

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Read Online Books/Novels:	(Souls of the Knight #2) Taming Ryder
Author/Writer of Book/Novel:	Nicola Haken
Language:	English
Book Information:
You met Ryder Richardson in Being Sawyer Knight. Now, this is his story. I’ve done it. I’ve stuck a whopping two fingers up at my parents, I’ve made a name for myself as one of the world’s biggest porn stars and I’ve finally found a family I belong in. Life is amazing. I get paid to do all my favourite things. Fuck. Party. Travel the world. What’s not to love? And then he comes along. Mason George – Back Door Studio’s newest exclusive model and the guy who has the potential to either fuck it all up, or take me on the best ride of my life. ~ Ryder I’m desperate. I’ve got nothing and nobody left. Entering the daunting world of adult entertainment is less of a dream and more of a necessity. Signing as Back Door Studio’s latest model has the ability to either ruin or make me, but I made a vow at my first audition never to let myself regret it. I continue to question myself each day, but no amount of whats, whys or what ifs will change where I am or where I’m heading. Am I strong enough to do this? To embrace it? To enjoy it? I have no idea. The only thing I’m certain of, is that if anyone can teach me who I’m supposed to be, it’s Ryder Richardson. ~ Mason “Because the most exciting things in life always happen via the back door” (M/M erotic romance. Not suitable for under 18's due to language and explicit sexual situations. Trigger warning This book contains scenes of self harm which may act as a trigger for people experiencing similar issues.)
Books in Series:	Souls of the Knight Series by Nicola Haken
Books by Author:	Nicola Haken

Prologue

~Ivan~

IN PURE FRUSTRATION, I threw a hand over my face for what must’ve been the fortieth time today.

“There any more waitin’ outside?” I asked Xander, pinching the bridge of my nose. We’d been holding auditions all morning, and so far all we’d seen were a bunch of wannabes after a quick buck – most of whom, hadn’t even jacked off in front of a mirror let alone a camera. This was why I’d never held open auditions before, but I’d also never needed to bring in new followers as much as I did now either.

“Just one. Ryder Richardson,” Xander told me, running his finger down the list in front of him.

“Well, might as well see him now he’s here.” Really, I just wanted to give up and go home, but the kid had been waiting for hours so it was only fair to give him a shot.

Xander got up and strolled slowly toward the door, sighing as he did so. He was clearly as disappointed as I was that today had been a giant waste of our time. When he opened the door, in walked a confident-looking young man with visible tattoos and an attitude you could feel without him even having to speak.

“Ryder?” I asked, studying his body through his clothes. He had a unique style – baggy jeans, ripped shirt, dark hair that was perfectly styled into all different directions, and neon-pink sneakers with black skulls painted on the sides.

“Yeah. It’s an honor to meet you.” The kid held his hand out for me to take, offering me a firm shake. I noticed each hand was tattooed with sugar skulls, one red – one blue, and he had some script that I couldn’t make out along the inside of his fingers. Coupled with the various designs inked onto either side of his neck, I wondered what, if any, art he had hiding beneath his clothes.

“You’re British?” I noted. I liked that. The fans will like that.

“Yeah. That’s not a problem, right?”

“Not at all,” I assured, gesturing my hand for him to take a seat opposite me. “So tell me, Ryder…why do you think you’d make a good Back Door boy?”

“I can’t answer that. I guess that’s up to you to decide. I mean, I’m not big or ripped like a lot of other guys, but I’m confident, adventurous, and I give everything one hundred and ten percent. I also love what I do, but right now, I think my only purpose is to line the director’s pockets. I kinda feel like I should be getting something too.”

“Ah yes, you already work in the industry,” I noted, scanning his application sheet. “How did that come about?”

“I kind of just fell into it. I’ll be honest, I needed the money. A friend of mine had experience in the industry and talked me into it.”

“And is it still about the money?”

“No. Definitely not. I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a part of it, but really, I just enjoy it. I’m not ashamed of myself sexually and I feel proud that I get to embrace that on screen.”

I turned slightly, offering Xander a knowing nod. He raised his eyebrow, seemingly agreeing with the liking I’d taken to this kid. Xander’s opinion was important, as he was the one who would be doing a full audition scene with him. The kid didn’t know that yet of course. Spontaneously throwing them in at the deep end was a sure-fire way to tell if they were cut out for this business.

“So what made you come here today, kid?”

“Didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to come back to LA, so I thought ‘why the hell not?’”

“You’re honest,” I said, offering a lopsided smile. “I like that.”

The kid shrugged. “That’s all you’ll ever get from me.”

“Okay,” I began, liking him more by the second. “Let’s get to the important stuff.”

He eyed me up curiously, shifting a little nervously in his seat.

“Top, bottom or verse?”

“I guess my favorite is top, but I class myself as verse.”

“Anything you’re not willing to do? We don’t expect anyone here to do anything they’re not completely comfortable with.”

“Umm…”

“What I’m asking is, are you up for using toys, eating ass, group fucks, DP?”

“Oh, sure. Yeah I’m up for all of that.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

He smiled confidently, lifting his leg and resting his ankle on his knee.

“It says here your screen name is Kyle Kingston,” I said, referring back to the paper on my lap.

“Yep.”

“How would you feel about losing the ‘ston’? I think Kyle King has more of a ring to it.”

“Sure. No big deal to me.”

“Okay, kid, how’d you feel about auditioning with Xander here?”

“What, now?”

“Right now.”

He looked nervous for only a second before securing his cocky and confident attitude back in place. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

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Advertisement Broken Read Online free books novels by Nicola Haken http://www.books2020.com/broken-read-online-nicola-haken Sat, 04 Jun 2016 01:57:33 +0000 http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/broken-read-online-nicola-haken Genre: Angst, Dark, Erotic, Gay, GLBT, M-M Romance, Romance, Tear Jerker Authors: Nicola Haken Advertisement

Total pages in book: 86
Estimated words: 104138 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 521(@200wpm)___ 417(@250wpm)___ 347(@300wpm)

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Read Online Books/Novels:	Broken
Author/Writer of Book/Novel:	Nicola Haken
Language:	English
Characters:	Theodore Davenport, James Holden
Book Information:
When Theodore Davenport decides to switch his mundane job for a career, he walks into Holden House Publishing with enthusiasm and determination to succeed. As he settles into his new role, makes new friends, and dreams of making it to the top, everything is going to plan. Until he meets James Holden, CEO of Holden House. James Holden hasn’t been able to stop thinking about his encounter with the timid man he met in a club bathroom last week, and when he discovers the one haunting his dreams is an employee, he can’t seem to stop himself from pursuing him. Just a little fun - that’s what James tells himself. He can’t afford to care for someone who can never reciprocate, not once they find out who he really is. James believes nobody deserves the burden of being attached to him. He’s a complicated man. Damaged. Difficult. Demanding. Broken. Is Theodore strong enough to confront James’ demons? More importantly, is James? Please note:This book contains scenes of self harm, mental illness and suicidal ideation which may be uncomfortable for some readers.
Books by Author:	Nicola Haken Books

Preface

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. I heard that somewhere once and it stuck in my mind, haunting me, ever since. I often toyed with its interpretation and, now, I have the answer.

The pain is there. It never leaves. Sometimes it’s bearable, but it’s always there. It’s pecked away at my soul all my life and, finally, it’s won.

I surrender.

It’s taken everything. I am nothing more than a hollow shell. There are no more pieces left to try and put back together. I have nothing else to fight with.

I’m exhausted.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Today, I opt to end the suffering. Today, I welcome the pain as it slices into my wrist, knowing it will be the last time. As I watch my tormented life seep from my body in thick, red spirals, a small smile crawls onto my lips.

It’s over.

I’m free.

My body starts to tremble and I lie back in the bathtub, closing my eyes. A rush of peace, contentment, washes over my dying body, cleansing my soul as I drift into the serene darkness, embracing the shadow for the first time in my life.

Forgive me.

Chapter One

~Theo~

Beads of nerves roll around in my stomach as I walk into Holden House, the tallest building in the centre of Manchester. The first day in any new job is always daunting, but stepping into my first role in a publishing house pushes a further stab of pressure into my gut.

I’m met with a curious glance by a young, impeccably dressed, woman behind the long reception desk as I pass through the revolving glass doors. I walk over, holding up the I.D. card that dangles from my lanyard.

Her eyes hone in on it, squinting as she reads. “Good morning, Mr Davenport. Marketing is on the thirteenth floor.”

“Thanks,” I mutter, although I know where I’m going after my induction last week.

I fiddle with my collar as I ride the lift, eyeing myself up in the mirror on the back wall. My last job, managing a mobile phone shop, didn’t require me to wear a suit and I can’t help feeling uncomfortable. Restricted.

The lift pings and the doors peel apart. I step out onto the office floor, surveying my surroundings. A small lump forms in my throat as I wonder who to approach first, although you wouldn’t know by looking at me. I am a swan as I make my way to the middle of the floor; kicking and struggling beneath the surface, poised and confident above.

A hand lands on my shoulder, startling me. “You’re the new kid, right?”

I force a smile but inside I want to punch the fucker for calling me a kid. I’m twenty-seven years old; too old, in some people’s opinion, to be taking a job as an office junior. But working in this industry has been my goal since I was ten years old. Unfortunately, life got in the way, until now. I was kicked out of college for showing up drunk on more than one occasion and ended up working tedious jobs until I got bored and found something else. Perhaps things would’ve turned out differently if I’d chosen my own path, but I applied to study biology at college with the aim of becoming a doctor, because that’s what my brother did, my father, and my grandfather. It was kind of expected of me, but I just didn’t care enough about the subject to bother putting the effort in.

I saw the opening here by accident while surfing the Job Centre website and dismissed it at first, but it stayed in my head until I eventually convinced myself I’m not too old to go after a career rather than just a job.

I’m not just a reader, or a writer; I inhale written words like they’re my oxygen. It’s not a hobby. It’s a passion. People intrigue me. Life intrigues me. I see a story behind every set of eyes I meet, history in every voice. I’ll see someone wearing a smile and wonder what put it there. Words allow me to immerse myself in a whole other world. I get to become a different person.

So, that’s the reason I took this job. I want to see behind the scenes, learn the process of bringing someone’s imagination, someone’s dreams to life. I don’t expect to make a name for myself with my own writing. I do it for no other reason than I love it. I do it to stop my mind exploding. I do it because while I have a pen in my hand, I can be anyone I want to be.

This job is a more realistic version of my dream. I will complete the menial tasks. I will fetch coffee, stuff envelopes. I will learn. Grow. I will work my way up, and I will achieve a successful career helping others to accomplish their dreams.

“I’m Mike. Section manager,” the owner of the hand on my shoulder says.

I proffer my hand for him to shake and he accepts. “Theo,” I say, nodding.

“Let me show you to your station.”

Again, I nod, and trail behind Mike as he leads the way. My lips turn up a little as my gaze unashamedly hones in on his arse. I approve. Utterly squeezable, I think, before being dragged back into the room when he turns around.

“This is your desk. My colleague, Stacey…” He pauses to point at a smartly dressed woman, with a brown bob and thick-rimmed glasses, at the other side of the room. “…Will come and talk you through a few things shortly. But first, let’s see what you’re made of.” My eyes widen and my ears prick up, eager to get stuck in. “Coffee machine’s down the hall. White. One sugar.”

I fight the urge to scowl and nod instead. Mike claps my back and walks away, disappearing into one of the large, private offices. I don’t like him already.

I spend the rest of the day making coffee, filing documents, and being taken on a tour of the gigantic building by Stacey, who I’ve decided I like a lot more than Mike the Moron.

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Advertisement Being Sawyer Knight Read Online Nicola Haken (Souls of Knight #1) http://www.books2020.com/being-sawyer-knight-1-read-online-nicola-haken Fri, 03 Jun 2016 13:57:33 +0000 http://www.test123.demo2.xyz/being-sawyer-knight-1-read-online-nicola-haken Genre: Erotic, Gay, GLBT, M-M Romance, Romance Authors: Nicola Haken Series: Souls of the Knight Series by Nicola Haken
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Total pages in book: 70
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<<<<1 2 3 11 21 >70

Read Online Books/Novels:	Being Sawyer Knight (Souls of the Knight #1)
Author/Writer of Book/Novel:	Nicola Haken
Language:	English
ISBN/ ASIN:	9781311637345
Book Information:
As lead singer and guitarist of the internationally renowned Souls of the Knight, Sawyer Knight is living a life most men can only dream of. He’s surrounded by music, fame, wealth, women throwing themselves at his feet. He has everything… Yet he has nothing. Life as one of the world’s most sought after rock stars is tiring, oppressive and lonely. He spends every day being who the world wants him to be, who his manager tells him to be, who his mother expects him to be… all the while fighting against who he really is. Truth is, he’s used to it. He’s actually gotten pretty good at pretending… at living the lie. Until Jake Reed, his ex-best friend and the only person who’s ever made him ‘feel’, waltzes back into his life as the band’s new head of security. Jake wants Sawyer – always has, always will. Now, he just needs to get Sawyer to admit that he feels the same… “You will be mine, Sawyer Knight. The faster you try to run the quicker you’ll fall to your knees. Then, Sawyer… then you’ll be too weak to resist.” (This is an M/M romance that is not recommended for under 18's due to adult language and explicit sexual situations)
Books in Series:	Souls of the Knight Series by Nicola Haken
Books by Author:	Nicola Haken Books

Prologue

“I can’t believe you’re really leaving,” I said, almost mournfully to Jake. We’ve been best friends since primary school. We’ve always done everything together. When we were younger we’d team up to make fun of the girls, we’d hang out after school to play with our Power Rangers and drive our mum’s mental. Then when we got older we’d hide behind the school bike sheds together to grab a smoke at break time, join forces on the Nintendo when we should be doing homework, chase the girls… Or rather I’d chase the girls, and he’d stand aside while I had my fun.

But this morning everything changed. His dad has landed himself a dream job in Australia and Jake and his family are leaving. Tomorrow morning.

“And you’ll miss the party next week,“ I added, as if my eighteen birthday would be reason enough for his dad to change his mind and stay - give up his career all for the sake of my party.

“It’s shit I know. But hey, you’ll be fine. You’ve got the guys and that chick in your maths class who’s been coming on to you since you started sixth form.” By ‘the guys’ Jake was referring to Kip, Jacob and Mike. We’ve been buddies since high school, Kip and I even longer, and last year decided to start up a band together. And the chick? That would be Elle. She’s been helping me out in the library at lunch with my maths assignments, but I haven’t told Jake because he’ll just assume I want to screw her. And I don’t. She’s smart, pretty and funny as shit, but she’s more like a sister to me. “You’ll be too busy being famous and getting laid to miss me,” he joked.

“Yeah right,” I said, dismissing him. I’m not stupid enough to think the band will go anywhere, but I play mean guitar, I love singing and have a decent enough voice to play the local pubs and clubs every weekend. That’s why I’m taking maths and English A levels too. If the music doesn’t work out, I’m guaranteed a decent job with those qualifications behind me. “It’s just gonna be weird. We’ve been mates forever.”

Fuck I was sounding like a complete pussy, but I couldn’t help it. He was my best friend and I was going to miss him. I supposed I’d taken him for granted all these years and I didn’t know how big a part of my life he was until I discovered he wouldn’t be in it anymore.

“Want to grab a pizza? A last supper so to speak?”

“Sure,” I agreed as we neared the college gates. “What about your A levels? Will you be able to carry that on over there?”

“I don’t know. Think they’re called something different over there but that’s my dad’s plan, for me to finish my education and be something smart.”

“I’ve no doubt you’ll be something smart, mate. You always did beat my arse at tests.”

“Only ‘cause I copied off Danny Henderson,” he fired back. He was talking shit. Jake is a smart arse - quicker than anything and smarter than Carol fuckin’ Vorderman.

Hooking the strap of my bag across my body, we made our way to the bus stop before hopping on the 419 into town. After wandering the shopping centre for a while, talking shit and taking the piss out of the cleaners in their bright blue tabards, we ventured into Pizza Hut and ordered our usual Meat Feast to share between us.

“I’m gonna miss you, Sawyer,” Jake said before wiping the corners of his lips on a napkin. For the first time in forever we both stayed quiet while we ate our pizza. What was there to discuss? We couldn’t plan anything, talk about what game we were gonna play tomorrow or where we were going next weekend. He wasn’t going to be here, so what was the point?

“We should get going. Jerry will go ballistic on my arse if I’m out much longer.” Jerry is my stepdad, and the biggest arsehole in the world. He married my mum when I was seven and didn’t show a shred of interest in my existence until my band started getting gigs at local pubs. Now all of a sudden, he’s really proud of me and wants to be our manager. I couldn’t refuse him because I knew it would upset my mum - she hates it when we don’t get along. But I also knew the fucker only wanted in to take a cut of the money I earned.

Looking at my watch I noted we still had another twenty minutes before the bus was due, so instead of taking the direct walkway to the station, we killed some time by walking the long way, past the shops and through the alleys. It was getting late, the shops were closing and it was dark above us. An old woman walked past us and when she neared us, she took one look at the hoody pulled up over my head and picked up her pace. I couldn’t help snorting a laugh - some people are so judgemental.

“Saw, wait up,” Jake called. I was walking a few steps in front so I stopped at the sound of his voice and turned around.

“What’s up?” I asked with a cock of my head. He just stood there - staring at me. I walked curiously towards him, worried something was wrong. He wouldn’t quit with the staring and it was starting to freak me out. When I reached him he started walking forwards towards me and instinctively I stepped backwards before he bumped into me. But he kept coming, so I kept retreating… until my back hit a brick wall.

“Mate, what the fuck is wrong with you?” I asked nervously, suddenly feeling a little breathless. He was right in front of me now. He pulled down his hood and the streetlight above us lit up his face, making his blue eyes sparkle as they bored into mine. “Jake?” I pressed again. He was just… staring. Like he didn’t know whether to punch me or… kiss me? No. No fucking way. “Jake you’re freaking me out. For fuck’s sake, say something!”

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